Solitary biased
Topic: Magic
I've been reading books about advanced magical practises a lot lately and there is one reoccuring theme that is seriously annoying me. To read it, the only way that you could possibly be advanced enough to want to practice advanced magic is if you have been trained in a coven. To be a Solitary practisioner is in no way enough, you would have given it all up before you go to any higher levels. What a load of hooey.

I believe that a Solitary has a distinct advantage over that of someone who has only been practising in a coven (not that I'm saying that either is better than the other, only different, which they are). You have to take full responsibility for your own learning, you don't have anyone else to turn to. You don't get the chance to wallow in begininghood. There really is only one way to truely be a Solitary and that is to jump in the deep end of the pool. Just about everything that I've read that defines an advanced witch, I've been doing from the start!

So that's my rant.... if any advance witch or witch who has only ever done coven work reads this please, stop looking down on Solitarys.... we've had it a lot harder than those who had help and despite that hardship, learnt a lot more a lot more quickly.

Earth
Topic: Stories
The darkness was suffocating. No light, no air, no sound, just that all encompassing blackness. The very soul screamed out for realease from this living pison, this overpowering living death. The all too solid black earth wall began not one foot from the face, the shoulder, the top of the head. It was as iff standing in a coffin and being buried alive; trapped, without chance or means of escape. How could one face this? To try and understand what this was, what this meant.

Calm, patience, support endurance; these concepts crytallised in the mind; ideas to understand the drakness. Breathe, slowly, calmly, become one with the darkness.....

TBC

Birthday Party!!!!!!
Good or Evil..... what to choose.... now is the Angel of Temptation good or evil? You make up your own choice... but that is what I went as to my fancy dress birthday party but I have to admit that the cool costume went to Glenn dressed up as the Good Witch of the North from The Wizard of Oz. There is something about looking at man dressed up in a pink tuelle dress that is just a cack... it was sooooo funny! And Maree with her Madam Lash outfit... she seemed to be taking a little too much pleasure with whipping people with that lash of her's....

I had a great time with all my friends that I haven't seen for the last month because I've been too sick to do anything so to get together to have a bash was fantastic..... Christmas party next... hehehe

The disease be wanning...
Topic: Health
And it's about time too.... I'm finally feeling as though I am getting better... I'm still a little tired some of the time, but on the whole things are starting to look up... and with my birthday party tomorrow, the timing couldn't be better...

My darling Paul has been an absolute trooper through this whole thing, not complaining once that he suddenly got landed with a very sick girlfriend who was incapable of doing anything for herself... I love that man... He has done so much for me... even if he wouldn't give me the bullet that I kept trying to demand off people....

Good health here I come...

Tired of it all....
Topic: Health
I am so tired of being sick.... I don't feel sick, I don't look sick and I don't act sick, but trying to walk around for too long will end up with me on my arse not being able to do anything... Work is got to be tired of this, I was going to try and go back today and that didn't happen... yesterday I walked around for a couple of hours and the only reason that I didn't fall over was because Paul caught me. I love that man... he has done everything to help me get better and has never complained or anything. My beautiful angel, sent straight from the Goddess, she finally answered my prayers....
I'm just hoping that I'll be able to get back to work on Monday.... this sickness induced "holiday" has got to end.... I want to feel normal again....

The new disease....
Topic: Health
This just sucks.... just when everything starts to head in the right direction in life .... BAMMMMM! Something else comes along and smacks you back down to ground.... and talk about a doozy..... Glandular bloody fever..... this seriously blows.... Everything was starting to go right..... my job was good, I just got a payrise, I have a beautiful other half whom I love dearly, my depression was starting to get under control and now I get this pain in the arse.... Perfect... just bleeding perfect....

Happy Anniversary
Topic: Paul
1 month today.... 1 month today.... it seems so much longer than that though... I feel as though I've known Paul my entire life... And for the first time in a very looooonnnnngggggg time, I'm happy... I love this man.... just his presence chases away the black dog of my depression.... Love you baby...

Brisbane Medieval Fayre
Topic: Re-enactment
Well, this weekend saw a new organiser put on the Brisbane Medieval Farye with many of us expecting that the whole thing was going to fall on its face. By some miracle it did (I think the god of re-enacting must have been looking out for us all) and the whole thing went pretty well.

With a bad back injury, I wasn't able to fight in the tournies but had a good time either squiring for them (water, my lord?) or just being a lady and sitting back and watching the whole blood bath unfold. Dancing was the same as abbey with me playing the recorder but this time I had some help with by the name of Sean the recorder player. Oh, my, god... Sean the recorder player.... all the ladies in our camp recon that Sean can come back anytime that he wants to and all the guys recon that all the ladies and Sean have to be fitted with GPS tracking devices so they know where we all are at all times..... mmmmm.... Sean the recorder player.... moving on.... dancing.... well, Saturday, dancing fell right on its face with Sir "I'm going to stick my nose in a ruin everything" rocking up and believing that he could do a better job than our dance mistress.... trust me, he can't. And after that effort, I hope that he learns to keep his nose out of where it doesn't belong. Sunday dancing went soooo much better with the public learning more because our dance mistress actually talks to them and explains what is going on....

The only thing to put a downer on the weekend was the touch of sunstroke that I got on Saturday night.... needless to say, I took much more care on Sunday to avoid a repeat incident.... Oh, and the lack of a mead tent.... what was with that?????

All in all, it was a great weekend, much fun was had, new dead animals were bought (I love animals, but being a re-enactor, some ideas on fur have to be rethought) and too much coffee was drunk.... as usual.

Topic: Stories
Long time ago
when once I was
no fear was bound
or side was tied
I lived a life
that many dreamed
flying free
sights unseen
walk upone ground
humans never been
spirit up on high
living as I had always dreamed
back I came
mundane my life became
work and breath and beat
adenture became a memory
same as all
how did I let it be?
This is not what my soul had craved.
Freedom was what I dreamed
a new horizon everyday
new ideas
new faces
people with who I belonged
Do they exist?
Did they every?
When will I be happey
with the life I have?

Topic: Stories
Pain grows inside me everyday
Indestructible, inescapable, it never seems to fade
Once was whole
now no more
streaming from my eyes tear fall to the floor
Power I had strong and true
Gave it away to find something new
Happiness and desire hid the rotten core
love and caring not once nor evermore
A chool girl crush
a lover's brush
From grace's fall
no long to stand tall
Bowed in sorrow
regretting my pain
wanting to hate
loathing my shame
The tender caress of nothingness' balm
so tempting
so drawing
no more void or loss or pain or grief
so long gone yet still I weep
just wish the pain would go to sleep
cut and broken when once was whole
once on high yet know below
yearing to be as once I was
hands of time move forward though
never allowing changes of memory
acceptance must be found alone
before soul's breakage a new self must be known
forward smill and battle on
find one's self with memory gone