Twenty-Seven
Welcome to the Forever 27 Club, young musicians!
I will be your tour guide tonight!
This is a nice community to live in.
Indulge yourself in a life of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll!
We have concerts every night here!
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We have a full house tonight!
I’m sure you are well aware of our residents, here.
Say hello to them:
Outside in our swimming pool area, is Brian Jones.
This lad may look normal with a dopy haircut, but
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He assembled the Rolling Stones with his guitar and other instruments.
He doesn’t really like to go swimming anymore.
In fact, he tries his best to keep away from our pools and lake when he
Is not performing gigs on Wednesday nights.
To calm his nerves, he takes pills to relieve the stress.
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Near the bar, is Jimi Hendrix.
Greatest musician that ever lived.
Tonight, we managed to keep him away from the sleeping pills and red wine.
Just long enough for him to send us into a Purple Haze.
He gets mad dates like crazy in this community.
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The girls just don’t how to keep away from our Jimi.
Hussies! They can’t have him!
He’s all mine!
We’re getting married next month!
I have the ring right here to prove it!
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So back off of my man, you bitches!
Sorry about that, breathe in, breathe out.
Let’s move on, shall we.
Singing along with him on stage is the lovely
Janis Joplin.
Tonight, we kept her away from the poppy flowers for the music.
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She is still the same here as she was when she died.
I don’t think she even cares to try and change her ways here.
That’s what makes here so popular with both men and women.
Come to think of it, she, Jimi, and I would look cute together.
Hm, I’ll have to work with that later!
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Maybe after our wedding, Jimi, Janis, and I can live in an apartment.
Hey, it’s free love in the Forever Twenty-Seven Club.
So don’t judge me!
Now back to the show!
In our solid golden bathtub, is our resident poet, Jim Morrison.
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Peaceful, yet wild man.
They say it was heart failure, but we’re not too sure at this time.
Anyway, he is quite the charmer with the groupies here in our club.
He and Jimi are always cruising around for dates
When they are not playing gigs on stage.
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I think they are competing with each other to see who can
Get the most women.
(My money’s on my sweetie, Jimi!
Sorry Jim, you’re cute, but I love our Jimi!)
We also have Kurt Cobain with us.
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He is kind of… odd.
He barely talks to anyone here.
Just keeps to himself.
I tried to talk to him once.
He just mumbled something to me and wandered back to his apartment.
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I haven’t really tried to talk to him since.
My co-worker, Cecilia, says that he just wants to be
Left alone—even after death.
Whatever floats their boat.
(I think Cecilia is just infatuated with him.)
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I still think he’s strange.
Oh, but Kurt’s music will blow your head off!
We also have some little known people here as
well.
Louis Chauvin is sitting at the piano in the upstairs pool lounge.
Ah, that beautiful ragtime.
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His records are being sold in the basement, you know?
Ten percent discount for the first twenty that buy on Sundays.
Robert Johnson and Nat Jaffe are always playing chess
In the garden on Sunday afternoons.
They now sing the blues for good in our trendy coffee shops.
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Oh and my younger sister is married to Dave Alexander.
He for played bass for the Stooges.
Now, he is playing with Jimi and Janis near the bar tonight.
He’s not bad,
I just wish that he and my sister would stop making out at the
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Table when we have family dinners!
Eww!
Believe it or
not,
There *are* some technical difficulties with some of our applicants.
One example is Richey Edwards.
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He was the
rhythm guitarist and lyricist of the band, Manic Street Preachers.
His is an interesting story.
Edwards just disappeared one day.
Nobody knows what happened to him.
For all we know,
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He could be relaxing on a beach somewhere with the Zodiac Killer and Tank Man.
Because of this, he is in the limbo section just outside of the community
Until we can clear up his paperwork
For proof of death.
Damn how paperwork can bite you on the ass!
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There is an upside to this, however.
It makes him a perfect contestant for our
“Guess How They Died” game on Saturday nights
Via Skype.
Winner gets a mystery prize!
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So far, Jim and Richey are tied.
We are just stumped here!
Maybe you guys will have better luck at taking a guess.
Good luck, though!
We always have a full turn out at the Forever 27
Club!
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Have all of the drugs and beer you want,
Get yourself a date and enjoy!
