Deadly Bore

    Another crisis hit soon. It came in the form of Perry. He came to Animal House with a problem. It started this morning. The man couldn't take it anymore. He had finally opened his eyes. Marrying Shannon was a mistake. She hadn't given up her wild ways. She still drank and partied every night. He couldn't remember a day where she wasn't high at all. The kids just ran a muck. Plus, Shannon slept with all of his friends. Perry used to just grin and bear. Now, he reached his peak. So, Perry packed up his stuff last night. By morning, the man headed out.

    "Perry!" Shannon called out in a half high state. "Where are you going?"

    "I'm leaving you!" he called out. His wife sat on the couch looking confused.

    "Leaving me what?" she asked. Perry sighed aloud.

    "I am moving out!" he called frustrated. "Divorcing you, ending our marriage, I am leaving you and never coming back!" Shannon stared at him blankly for a moment.

    "Oh," she said at last. "Did you get the limes?" Perry screamed out loud in stress.

    "I'm leaving you and all you can think about is the lime?!?" he yelled out.

    "Yeah..." Shannon said in a blank tone. Perry sighed aloud and shook his head. All the more reason to run away from this shrew.

    "Yes!" he called out. "Above the kitchen sink."

    "Okay," Shannon replied. "Bye!" Perry sighed and rolled his eyes.

    "Bye Shannon!" he called out. Then, the dullard headed out the door. Now, he's at Animal House. Perry knocked on dorm 221.

    "Coming!" Rob called from inside. His former student waited outside. The door opened wide. Perry looked up and saw his sensei's shocked look on his face. Rob was not expecting to see him again!

    "Perry!" he cried. "What are you doing here?" His former student swallowed some.

    "I've left my wife," he announced. Rob looked at him confused at first.

    "Left her what?" he asked. Perry sighed out loud.

    "I'm leaving Shannon," he explained. "I can't take it with her anymore! She's a common whore. That woman drinks like a fish. She's a terrible mother. There is never a day when she's not high! She's slept with all of my friends! I just can't take it anymore! So, I am leaving her for good!" Rob had a smile on his face.

    "Come here!" he called. Then, the mouse hugged his former student. Perry breathed out hard. They spent all of lunch together. The other Animals watched on confused. Noiz came over to her pet and baggage.

    "Hey guys," she greeted them. "What's going on?" They turned to her smiling.

    "Perry has just left Shannon!" Rob told her bravely. Noiz looked on confused.

    "Left her what?" she asked. Perry sighed and hung his head.

    "Why can't annoy ever believe that I have actually left my wife?" he asked aloud. "I have moved out of the house and everything!" Noiz became overjoyed at those words.

    "That's great!" she called. "So where are you going to left?"

    "Here!" Perry called out. Noiz and Rob's faces dropped at that one. The former student noticed right away.

    "What's wrong?" he asked. *Sweat drop on Rob's head*

    "Uh... Nothing! Nothing at all!" the mouse sensei called out.

    "You can't stay here!" Noiz screamed. Perry raised an eyebrow at her.

    "Why not?" he asked. "Is it because I'm boring?"

    "No!" Rob said quickly.

    "Yes!" Noiz called out. Perry lowered his head.

    "It's just that I had nowhere else to go at the moment," he replied. "So I figured I would go here." Rob felt a little moved by his speech. He turned to his mistress.

    "Please Momo!" he pleaded. "Let here stay here for a little while. Please???" Noiz tried to look away with her eyes closed. But, Perry won out in the end. Big mistake that was! For the past three weeks, Perry practically bored everyone to death. Noiz and Rob were his first victims. Then came the pig and the other animals. They all tried to avoid him. But, the dullard managed to keep up with them somehow. Soon, the animals turned right to Noiz and Rob for help. They didn't seem to know what to do at first. So, they held a private meeting outside in the yard.

    "I love Perry like a son," Rob admitted. "But he's like alcohol."

    "Too much and it could kill you?" Noiz asked. Rob nodded at her on that one.

    "Yeah!" he admitted. Both sighed out loud.

    "So now what do we do?" the mouse asked aloud. Both knew the answer to that one. But, who would do it? There's no way in Hell Shannon would ever take him back. For the whole two weeks, she had been singing and dancing all around the house. Challenge had been set for them already.

    "You do it!" Rob declared to Noiz. The kitty looked up shocked.

    "WHAT?!?" she cried out. "Why me?!?" The mouse shrugged at her.

    "Cause," he said. "You're a woman and she's a woman too." Noiz looked at him sharply on that one.

    "What are you saying?" she asked. "That you can't do it yourself because you're a guy?"

    "No, no!" her pet called out. "I'm just saying!"

    "Hey guys!" a voice called out. Both froze up in fear. Oh crap! The dullard found them after all. Too late to run now. The pair were stuck. They slowly turned and saw Perry staring right at them. How the hell did he find them? Nobody told him. That's it! Something had to be done right away!

    "Okay, I'll go talk to Shannon!" Noiz's eyes said to her mouse.

    "Thank you!" his eyes said back. That afternoon, the kitty walked all the way to Dark Moon House. Surprising, the walk seemed shorter than usual. Maybe it's because it's a code red. Maybe because they were desperate. Noiz didn't care. Perry had to go! She made it all the way to the dorm. The kitty knocked on the door.

    "Coming!" Shannon called from inside. The cat waited outside. "Come on, come on!" she thought. "We're desperate!" The door flew open wide. Noiz looked on surprised. Shannon actually looked... sober! She had a bright smile today. Shannon looked really healthy compared the last time they spoke. Plus, the woman looked like she was dressed to work out as well. Noiz had lost all of her words for a moment. Shannon looked her up and down.

    "What a surprise!" she called. Noiz blinked for a long moment.

    "Uh... hi..." she said at last. Shannon moved out of her way.

    "Come in," she said. The kitty nodded.

    "Sure!" she called out. Then, Noiz went inside. "So," the kitty said. "Have you found a new wonder drug? And what's called?" Shannon turned to the headmistress grinning.

    "Yes!" she replied. "It's called no Perry! You know he wanted to count all of the hairs on my head to see if I reached the average number of hairs on a human head. When he got to 3,018, I stabbed in the leg with kitchen scissors."

    "I see," Noiz said trying to sound interested. Shannon sat up and stretched.

    "And now that he's gone," she announced. "I have a new look on life. I am repairing myself now. I have more energy. I have kicked my drug habits. I am a new woman. I now believe in a healthy mind and a healthy body!" The kitty looked impressed.

    "Wow!" she said. "Then, you didn't really hate me after all!" The tart shook her head.

    "No, no," she said. "That was truly genuine." *Sweat drop on Noiz's head* "Figures!" the kitty thought. Shannon's face became serious.

    "But seriously," she replied. " From one woman to another, if you care bit at all. Don't try to get me and Perry back together. I will be forced to go mad." Noiz gave her a fake little smile.

    "Okay," she lied. Right then, Shannon's new lover came out into the living room part of the dorm. Shannon stood up and began kissing on him. Noiz studied the man closely. He wasn't Edward, but he seemed a bit younger than Perry. The cat instantly found how to fix the problem.

    That evening, Noiz made it back to Animal House. Perry and Rob waited on the yard. They looked up when they spotted the kitty. She made it right over to them. The cat drew in a deep breath.

    "I talked to Shannon today!" she announced. Both males had their eyes locked on her.

    "And?" Rob asked.

    "What did she say?" the former student asked. Noiz looked down at her feet some. Okay, here goes. She drew in another breath and crossed her fingers behind her legs. The kitty looked up right away.

    "She said..." Noiz began. "She said that she misses you and wants you back! And she said to fight back and never take no for answer!" The boys looked at her in surprise.

    "But..." Perry began. "The kids told me Shannon was doing back flips and singing on the rooftop." Noiz shook her head.

    "No," she said. "It's all a front. She's really crying on the inside. Go to her Perry! She needs you!" The man looked overjoyed.

    "This is great news!" he called out with a bow. "I thank you!" Then, he ran away to pack up his things. Rob turned to Noiz with suspicion in his eyes. The kitty noticed right away.

    "What?" she asked innocently.

    "Liar!" Rob called out. Noiz fluttered her eyes at him.

    "Why Mousey!" she called. "Whatever do you mean?"

    "You know Shannon does want Perry back ever!!!" he called out loud. Noiz shrugged at him sweetly.

    "Hey!" she called. "It's either her or you! I have to protect my love pet!" Rob raised an eyebrow at that phrase.

    "Love pet?" he asked. "What do you mean by that?" Noiz looked away blushing. Did she just say that out loud? Time for damage control.

    "Uh..." she said. "Huh?" Okay, not the best. But sometimes it worked. Not today! Rob looked at her confused still.

    "What do you mean by love pet?" he asked again. "Is that all I am to you or is that a new nickname for me?" Noiz couldn't think. She just kissed on the nose and ran away. Strangely, Rob found that quite arousing. So, he ran right after her. He chased her all the way back to their dorm. Looks like another hot night coming up!