Budget Fitness

    Sports and money. Those two things always cause trouble. Sometimes together. In this occasion, both problems were separate. The boys in question were the pig and the mouse. Artemis had the problem with the money. Rob was the sports problem. Noiz noticed this one lazy hot afternoon in June. The kitty had been working on her laptop outside when she heard jogging near her. She looked up and saw her beloved mouse jogging around the yard. The cat became concerned with him. This was the twentieth she saw him go around. A few laps, fine. But this is just overkill. Not only that, Rob had been exercising like mad for three weeks now. This definitely put up a red flag for her. The kitty had to do something. When Rob came around for his twenty-first lap, Noiz stood up right away.

    "Robbie-kun!!!" she screamed out. The mouse stopped and turned to her.

    "Yes Momo?" he asked. Noiz left her laptop and walked over to him.

    "What are you doing?" she asked aloud.

    "Training!" Rob replied.

    "For what?" his kitty asked. The mouse patted hard.

    "The physical body examination is coming up in five days!" he called.

    "Yeah," Noiz replied. "And what about it?"

    "I have to get into shape to pass my examination!" Rob called. "Otherwise I lose my position as kendo teacher!"

    "Yes, I see!" the kitty called out. "But aren't you overdoing it?"

    "No!" he cried. "I'm okay! I can take it!" Noiz went quiet. She didn't believe him at all. But yet, the cat kept quiet. Once he was determined, nothing could snap him out of until the goal could be marked off as complete.

    "Fine!" Noiz sighed. Then, she went back to her laptop and sat back down. Rob jogged around the yard again. Noiz hung her head and shook it. This was not good! He'll exercise himself to death. Something had to be done and fast. But right now, Noiz had work to do. Besides, something will come to her. It always does.

    Now to the money problem. Artemis had come to a slight problem. He couldn't afford to pay the staff. The money went to keeping the house looking and running greatly. Something had to be done. Then, an idea came into his head. Why not hire some cheap labor for a while? Illegal immigrants were always the best way to go. So on Monday, Animal House became under the care of illegal aliens. Some of the animals hated it. Others... just ignored it. Noiz did both. Only because Rob's health was on her mind. She didn't want him to want himself to death just to keep his job at the academy. But he loved it here. He loved working with and for her. That mouse boy would rather have his limbs ripped off than lose his job. But he couldn't keep doing this. Noiz had to fix the problem right away. But yet, something else became a distraction to her.

    A loud clang brought her attention back to earth. The kitty looked up and saw an European maid staring back at her. She looked to be from Eastern Europe. Cute little thing too. Light red hair, cute blue eyes, tiny little thing, and a nice rack. The French maid outfit added to her looks. Noiz looked her up and down, then at the plate. Rabbit strew sat in inside the plate. The kitty looked at her in slight disappointment.

    "Excuse me," she said slowly in Japanese. "I didn't order the rabbit. I ordered the duck." The maid looked at her confused. Noiz slowly began to fall into despair. "She doesn't know Japanese!" she thought. "Great!" "I did not order rabbit stew," the cat tried again saying each word slowly. "I ordered the duck!" The maid still stared at her blankly. *Sweat drop on the cat's head* Noiz looked around for some help. She spotted June dealing with another dissatisfied animal. The cat flagged her down.

    "June!" she yelled out. "A little help here!" The assistant sighed and made her way over to Noiz.

    "Yes Noiz?" she asked. The cat calmed down some to talk.

    "I ordered duck and got rabbit stew," she explained. "The waitress here doesn't seem to understand me. Could I have a little help here?"

    "Fine," June replied. She turned to maid.

    "She ordered duck, not the rabbit," the assistant tried to reason with her. "Duck, but the bunny rabbit. The duck, not the bunny!" June even threw in the movements for each animal. The maid stared at her blankly for a moment. Both June and Noiz looked on worried. The maid chirped up some.

    "Oh, ja!" she called out. Noiz and June smiled on in relief. She seems to get it now. The maid turned to their new cook.

    "Rabbit!!!!" she screamed out in what little Japanese she knew. *June and Noiz fall over* She didn't get it after all! "Oh bloody hell!" the cat thought. "This is going to be a long lunch!" Suddenly, there came yelling from the kitchen. The Russian cook and the Japanese chef were shouting at each other loudly. The animals looked on worried. Noiz put down her chopsticks.

    "Suddenly," she said aloud. "I'm not so hungry anymore. Excuse me." Then, the cat got up and left the cafeteria. The rest of the day went down the drain from there. The new help proved to be helpless. The house became systematically falling to pieces. The staff proved to be more incompetent than the animals and the old staff themselves. Artemis really messed up this time. Noiz decided to get the little piggy again this time. But first, she had a certain mouse to save before he died of exhaustion.

    That night in the dorm, Rob started on crunches again for the ninth time today. Noiz watched in growing worry. That's it. Enough's enough! Noiz quickly closed her laptop. She cleared her throat out loud. Rob stopped what he was doing and looked up to see a sweet little kitty glaring at him. He looked at her slightly confused.

    "Yes?" he asked. Noiz kept her icy stare on him.

    "Quit working yourself to death!" she hissed. "You're in fit shape as if is already. You have the body to prove it! So please knock it off!" But, the mouse still looked at her confused.

    "But I want to keep my job here!" he called.

    "It won't be any good to you if you're death!" Noiz screamed. "I can't have that! I can't have that at all!" Rob stared at her in silence on that one. She actually cared that much about him? He had been so busy with the body examination that he hadn't noticed Noiz looking worried at all. Rob got up off the floor and sat down on the bed with his mistress lover. He leaned his head onto her scantly clad shoulder.

    "Okay," he murmured to her. "I'll take it easy." Noiz smiled at him in relief.

    "Good," she said. "If you don't, I won't be so forgiving next time!"

    "Yeah, yeah," the mouse replied. Noiz let him stay like that for the rest of the night.

    The next day, Noiz and Rob found the animals gathered around outside watching. Curious, they joined the crowd to see. The new workers were all boarding a bus. Noiz turned to June.

    "Oi!" she called. "What's wrong?" The assistant looked over at her.

    "Artemis pissed off one of the cleaners last night. So he challenged him to a knife duel on the football field last night," she explained. "And Artemis lost!" The kitty put it all together in seconds. She tried her best not to smile at all.

    "Oh!" she called out. "So he's sacking them and going back to our out crew, eh?"

    "Sending them on a long vacation, yes," June replied. Noiz laughed to herself in her head.

    "Okay everybody," Artemis yelled as he packed the immigrants onto the bus. "Enjoy your trip, because you're not coming back at all!" He was just about to turn away to leave when he spotted Mario trying to sneak onto the bus.

    "Oh no you don't!!!" the pig yelled out at the gardener as he grabbed him to drag him back to crowd. "Get back here, Mario!" The animals all laughed as the two men got into a struggle. Ah, problems solved all around. (For now anyway!)