Why God? HELP!
Mood:  sad
Why God? Why is this happening to me?
These desires, these ridiculious temptations
make no sense - why would I give in to them?
am I insane? Can I not think straight? Am I too
stressed that I am falling back into my old ways before I was regenerated? How can I say that I am
regenerated when I go and do these things? It is
SIN. REBELLION. It is insulting to You. It is in-
sulting to her, it is insulting to me that I would
allow myself to fall this way, to abuse my mind
and my election this way. It is wrong. Why; GOd?
This has not been a temptation as of late, until recently....God; what can I do? I cannot believe
that I have been so blind and evil that I would
do these things that are shameful even to the world.
But I know you're there. I know why I did it.
Because I am a sinner, plain and simple. I am
depraved. I have been saved by grace, and am now
a child of God who should be ACTING as such, but I
am not because I will always be a sinner and I
will always wrestle against my flesh until the day
I die. I know that this corruption must put on
incorruption, and thereby I will become perfected on
the last day; I know that God is going to complete
me. I was made whole on Calvary, "By His stripes we are healed."
I know that the difference between myself and the
unregenerate is that I deny myself, and declare
that in me no good thing dwells, except for the
spirit of God who has made my body a temple; a temple that I have defiled with my thoughts and
actions. You word says that if "we confess our
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of "
them, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."
I declare that thatis true. I know that you have
forgiven me through the merits of Christ, I know
that His righteousness is counted for my own.
What a saviour! What a God! To think that I can
share in the blessings that come from being the
only righteous man who ever lived; what a blessing!
God; I confess my sins, this is evident. I deny them.
I accept you as the one whose blood cleanses me
from all sin and unrighteousness. God; I can't live this life without you. Help me to understand what I
need to do to live a Holy and blameless life that
will reflect your Glory, for I am ashamed and I am worthless.
In the name of Jesus
Amen