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Pressure Is ON
Monday, 6 March 2006
The Pressure Is On
Chapter 4 The pressure is on

There have been many times that she had wished it was over, but

some way or another she finagled a way to keep going, hoping for a

successful ending. She thought she had prepared herself for all the down

grading and discouraging obstacles she would tackle along the way.

Unfortunately, no one can prepare themselves enough for the bumps and

bruises that life can put on ones’ heart.

There were many times when she asked “why?” she had to be where

she was and why her life ended up where it had. I began to realize she was

down on her knees begging for people’s sympathy all along, so that she

would not be so lonely; however, distractions kept her from that

companionship. I decided to find out more about her because I was worried

about her. While searching her room, I found a journal entry that read:

“Mirror, mirror on the wall.....Whose the skinniest of them all?

I know its wrong to blame my situations of other people

but I believe that some other individuals have assisted in the

making of my decisions. During my junior and senior year I began

to become anorexic. My mother is a perfectionist and has

unrealistic expectations of others, including me.

In spite of my many achievements, she made me feel

inadequate, defective, and worthless. In addition

I began to see the world as black and white, with

absolutely no shades of gray. Everything was

either good or bad, a success or failure, fat or thin.

If fat is bad and thin is good, then thinner is better and

thinnest is best. I began to limit my food intake until

I began not to eat anything at all. After losing

some pounds I began to admire the compliments

and attention I had received. I anticipated losing even

more weight not caring if the results left me in a

hospital bed on life support. I was going to be skinny and

liked by others no matter the cost.”

Posted by planet/my_book at 1:45 AM EST
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