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well you want to know what happened? i displayed concern that we were going to fast again... when you go to fast you often crash... she wanted to talk about it - i said not in the parking lot lets wait to get inside - we went inside she didn't say anything - she got all her stuff (i assumed to go to lawrence as she said she was going to - to start packing) - she left but never said goodbye - (i didn't even know she had all her stuff - she just left) - i called later to ask if she still needed boxes - jill answered the phone and told me i should probably never talk to her again - i was pretty confused because when sarah was packing stuff she didn't seem mad or anything she was even smiling some of the time - the fact that she ran to jill did make me a little mad - i think jill is a bad influence and i'm sure you agree if you were around her maybe 3 times - but then i decided i shouldn't call her again - i've gotten rid of all contact information - i love sarah and i don't want to hurt her - i do not think i've got it all figured out - i'm about as lost in life as a person can be - i do however think that there is something wrong with sarah - the way she just freaks out randomly - i would think you would understand that but maybe it's more now than it was or maybe it's that i'm the one she was dating - i just found out less than two weeks ago she was adhd or something close to it - and i know she had stopped taking her meds. just before she took off - and i know she often times does stop taking the meds. - i wish the best for her - she is beautiful - just amazingly beautiful - she loves a way that can't be described - in almost everything she does - she showed me what love really was - that's for sure - she is a gift to those that meet her - she does have her weak points i'm not saying she's a god - but i've never met anyone quite like your sister and i don't know if i ever will again - and though she may be the one for me - i don't feel i'm necessarily the one for her - i really don't know what to do in life - now more than ever - right now my goal is to learn how to walk - but that's really nothing - i don't really see a purpose for my being - every day is harder - i used to think it may be to serve her - but i have failed and failed - so that's how it ends - my promise to not contact your sister - because i love her - and i am nothing

i do wish you wouldn't be so harsh - i understand your anger - don't think i'm not mad at myself - yes i'm hurt - yes i cry as soon as nobody is watching - but for the next person your sister dates - try to be more understanding - that even if he loves her more than anything in the world - that doesn't mean he's going to think everything is perfect
and please know - my brother-in-law tried to contact sarah in regards of a place to live (as she was thinking of moving in with them) - i did not suggest or even talk to him about contacting her - but my sister did let me know that when he did - your mother did answer and was very short with him - that was disrespectful - and it's hard for me to understand how and adult - even with the situation at hand - could not take the time to think that they don't even fit into the situation in a negative way - you are a spitfire group of girls - and maybe that's a good quality - just inappropriate at times

if you even get this - apologizes to the all of you, mike