A silly silly ficlet all fault lies on Farah who was showed me this pic I saw a long time ago but this time it triggered my muse. I think the pic was in Amejisuto's site but I can't find it any more, Rhonda did the manip. BUT don't look at the pic until after you read the fic!! Pinky swear!

Rating: I'm thinking kids have your way with it!
Spoilers: None… well maybe some things of season 4 BtVS.
Disclaimer: they belong to Joss though I borrowed Spike & Xander dammit I’ll take my time!! Picture doesn't belong to me Rhonda is all to blame.
Distribution: You want it? No way!!!!!! YES PLEASE! Just tell me first.
Author's Note: 1. It's all Farah's fault… or maybe Rhonda's seeing as she did the manip? *shrug* whoever it is the fic is dedicated to them… it's only fair right?

Pic can be found here

You Called

by Mera

Xander's POV

Spike said he's gonna call after our date… and that ended two hours ago and he hasn't called! It would only take him no more than 15 minutes to get from my door to his crypt, him being the supernatural creature of the night, and use his stolen phone line to call me up and talk about how great our date was. That is unless he stopped for blood at Willy's. So that's another five minutes. Unless he scares Willy… though silly Spike doesn't know I roughed the Snitch up to play along since Spike has the chip and can't do anything coz it makes him feel all Big Bad. Okay I asked Buffy to rough him up for me but that's the same, right? So okay that's an extra 10 minutes. And it all adds up to being… … … uh yeah 30 minutes. So where did an hour and a half go?

Maybe he took the long way from Willy's Bar but that adds no more than 5 minutes… Sunnydale is that small. So where is he?

Oh, God! Maybe my phone isn't working. I don't remember if I paid the bill last month.

Nope. There's a dial tone.

Where is he? It's 2 hours and 7 minutes now.

Unless. Did Giles mention a new Nasty in research last night? Damn it. I don't remember. I should've paid more attention to the Scooby Meeting than ogling Spike's butt when he got up and down to refill his blood. And well the way his Adam's apple moved up and down when he swallowed… and when he licked his lips… … … see! I lost track again! Evil sexy Spike with his everyday sexy acts. Besides how can Giles expect me to pay attention when I had a date the day after to look forward to?! Heh. And he calls himself smart. I could see how he enjoyed tying Spike to his bathtub… no one is that old! Wait, Giles' place is between here and Spike's crypt… could he????


Stupid phone. Stupid Spike. I bet he hated his date with me and is now drowning his sorrows with some stupid blonde bimbo pushing her perky breasts in his face. Stupid Blonde Bimbo!

I was fooling myself when I thought Spike could be interested in me. So he likes guys… and I jumped at that chance thinking it was a sign? How much is my IQ!? Oh. Never mind. I mean he's a vampire for Hellmouth's sake. He goes both ways… and whatever other ways there are. I was actually thinking he'd be interested in me? He can have anyone with those looks even without batting an eyelash! I bet he only agreed to go out with me coz today was a rerun of Passions.

Damn my allergies acting up at the worst time. Where's those Kleenex?

2 hours 15 minutes. Who am I kidding? Not myself or any other sane person… I bet Dru is getting one of her freaky seeing jitters and laughing at my attempt at her boy. Okay so I'm not even safe from the insane. I should go to bed and pretend this great night that ended on the worse note never happened.

Ok. Now I'm going insane. Thinking of Princess Crazy really got to me. I'm actually hearing ringing.

Oh shit!!!


"Xan? Pet, glad I caught you. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Uh, no. Spike?"

*snort* "No, it's the other blond vampire that you went out with tonight. Yeah it's me."

"You- you called."

"Xander. You didn't open the door to someone after I dropped you off and took candy from them, did you? Remember the last time…!"

"No, no, you called?"

"That's a question mark, eh? Bet you're wondering why I called so soon. Bloody hell. I must sound like a desperate pansy. Well I don't give a damn! I'm sure you're thinking I'm such a nancyboy for calling on the same night after we just went out, god no more than three hours ago…"

"Two hours twenty but who's keeping track."




"*big grin* Ye-ah?"

"Are you ok?"

"You called!"

The End

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