Disclaimer: The chaps belong to Joss though I borrowed some… am going to keep them for sometime… give them tea and crumpets… maybe make them show me their sexy dance and if I ever get bored *snort* I'll return them.
Distribution: You want? Just ask, I swear I won't say no! I just want to know where they sleep.
Thanks to Farah for the quick read! And snuggles to Morgan for giving me the idea to the new title to the second chapter and to noctuabunda for inspiring me to find the series name!
Messing with His Head
Mera
G'morning
“And then- then she says that Opera said--- or was it Dr. Phil? That you need to explore yourself before you can have a ‘successful and fruitful relationship’ or some other economy named psycho-crap.” Xander chugged down his beer, uncaring of the liquid dripping down his chin.
Spike surveyed the green table before making his shot. The pool cue sent the colorful balls into hiding with almost inaudible clicks in the midst of the Bronze’s rumpus. He watched as several balls followed snail-paced into the holes. With a smirk, he raised his head to catch Xander’s deep scowl.
“So, what, ex-demon-girl dumped you to find herself?” When he got a nod, he continued intrigued, “Where, pray tell?”
“With some guy that has a bottomless wallet to cater to her ‘elegant needs’.”
Spike nodded and watched Xander miss a shot. “All the luck to her then, hope she sends me something posh.”
Xander frowned when Spike’s cue hit the balls sending them with accuracy to their destination. “Why would she send you something? I am the ex-boyfriend she left . . . packing my mini T.V. along with!”
“Yeah?” Spike raised an eyebrow at a defensive looking Xander who was gripping his stick with both hands when Spike made yet another successful shot. “But we shared a lot Anyanka and I.”
Xander scrunched his nose. “Please spare me the reminiscences of the Days of Gore.” He poked his pool cue at the vampire. “And don’t get all high and mighty on me, Blood Breath.” Spike pursed his lips. “It’s not like you’re any better . . . moaning like a puppy after Buffy’s crumbs.”
“I do not…!” Spike answered defensively. “I patrol for blood money and to kick some baddie arse.” He wrapped his lips around his beer bottle, his Adam’s apple moved in sequence with the strong gulps.
“Really?” Xander scrunched his nose at the way Spike’s lips then tongue rimmed the bottle head and looked away concentrating at the game. “Well, remind me this, Spike. When was the last time you asked for money?” He then turned to a glowering Spike. “You know, in exchange for your oh so needed services.”
Spike missed a shot. His eyes flashed gold at Xander who chuckled and sunk in the last of the balls in.
“Seeing as you’ve helped me get some alcoholic beer, and pretended we were just guys out for a game, bitching about women . . . I’ll let you off that one.” Xander shook his beer bottle upside down to catch the last few drops. “Even if the game and the beer were on me.”
“I don’t ‘bitch’.” Spike then snorted and shook his head. “We’re a fine pair aren’t we?”
“Well, I know what I’ve got- don’t know about you.” Xander was looking down at his wallet sulking. “Well my bottomless wallet seems to be a fake.” He then proceeded to perform what he did earlier to the glass bottle as verification of the fact. “I’ve got more alcohol back at my place,” he said matter of factly.
“Is that an invite then?” Spike cocked his head, twisting the stick in his hands.
“Well, if you slam into an invisible barrier on the way in and then fry in the sun, I’d have to say no.” Xander smiled somewhat indulgently.
Spike rolled his eyes. “Not one to kick a horse in the mouth – well, except that one time but it was under the influence thanks to Angelus – why not head out to Rupes, he has some fine liquor hidden and he might be willing to share? All brothers in misery and all.”
Xander shuddered. “Thanks but hell no. Giles is really scary when he’s drunk.”
Spike chuckled. He then yelped when a hand smacked the back of his head. “Oi, no fair! I’d just about zap myself if I even think about doing that to you.” He poked at Xander.
Xander grinned, he couldn’t believe it. Semi-Drunk-Spike was actually pouting, and they had only had – he glanced over to the table next to them covered with bottles, a testimony at the great service here – around fifteen beers? “It is fair seeing as the image of G-man giggling in drunken madness is thanks to you playing with our minds, Adam's Lackey!”
Spike shook his finger in front of Xander who blinked dizzily at the quick movement. “Watch who you call a lackey, boy. Got a rep of being a lone wolf for a reason you know.” Spike replaced the pool cue, ignoring Xander’s mumbled, “Yeah, coz Morticia’s scarier sis dumped you,” and said instead, “I do remember that time though, needed to get me this blasted chip out of my noggin.” He shrugged looking at a jazzed up Xander. “Besides, you bunch were begging for it – it was an entertaining piece of cake.”
Xander actually stuck his tongue out at Spike. “You wanted me to join the military. That was mean.” Oh, yeah, Xander was drunk.
Spike chuckled and gestured to the club exit. “Why not lead the way Droopy Boy, before you pass out and I miss out on free brew.”
Xander walked surprisingly straight on his feet. He did bump shoulders with Spike though. “Hey that kinda rhymed, you’re not an undead poet in disguise, are you?” he asked with a giggle.
Spike only froze for a second before moving on. “Bloody Hell no.” He set his face. “You better have some strong booze.”
~ Oh, god. Did a demon rat crawl into my mouth, answer the call of nature then die? ~ Xander thought as he slowly came to.
He moved his jaw, eyes still closed, trying to re-awaken his salivary glands in hopes that they would wash away the Sahara in his mouth.
No luck.
~ Guess I have to move then. Evil alcohol. Just say no. Wait. That’s about drugs--- or was that sex? ~
A mere movement following his inconsistent thoughts had him freezing. His breath stopped and his eyes snapped open. Vaguely, he recalled giving a meager amount of thought as he awoke to the fact that he was sore all over. A minute ago, he figured that he - once again - had fallen asleep on the couch. But, no, that was his bedroom ceiling staring back at him, if you imagined those two suspicious looking stains as eyes that is. He was flat on bed reminiscent of all the times he and Anya had . . . and he was feeling as tired as he was when they had. . .
~ Fucked like horny bunnies! ~
Suddenly, he started breathing again. The ceiling was a nice place as any to look at. He wasn’t going to pretend there was something cool poking at his side, because there wasn’t. His heart began to pound in his ears.
Nevertheless, the sound of heart pumping fresh red hot blood near his ear wasn’t what woke Spike up, it was the keening.
Quickly, his eyes asserted his surrounding. His mind presented the likely scenario. His nose sniffed. Nope. That was rather disappointing. Carry the boy - for God knew what reason - from his clearly uncomfortable doze on the table of all places, only to wake up to them both naked, and nothing had happened. Not even the lonely frottage.
Still, the human was clearly panicking. Harris didn’t know.
~ Guess little Xander having not went to Uni had never ‘experimented’, does he actually think . . .? ~
Spike spread himself and performed the morning awakening rituals. He groaned. Xander whimpered.
~ Oh ye-ah. ~
Spike turned to his side and watched as Xander shrunk down and pulled the covers up to his neck and away from his 'companion'. Spike bit the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing out loud. He missed messing with the Scoobies, last night Xander had reminded him how easy it was, and how fun.
Xander’s wide eyes were looking at Spike’s disheveled ‘un-shamelessly’ displayed nude appearance, his mind was screaming at him to do something, but the child in him was whispering that if he didn’t move he would be okay.
Spike had a lazy smile on his mouth. He looked ~ gulp ~ satisfied. He leaned closer, yet, Xander stood his ground.
“Morning, luv.” Spike tilted his head and kissed Xander chastely. Xander gaped. “Bugger me—wait. Heh, too late, ain't it?” He grinned, enjoying how Xander’s pulse point jumped. “Anyanka was right, you are a bloody Viking in the sack.”
The blond leaned once more but blinked when Xander eluded him, shrieking and jumping out of the bed uncaring of his nudity, the sound of the bathroom door slamming almost immediately in his wake, with the fleeing boy repeating all the way in his escape, “No, no, no.” until the lock clicked, twice, behind him.
The small smirk grew on Spike’s face as he spread himself more comfortably on the large bed. ~ Oh, yeah, this is going to be fun! ~
Spanking Clean
Xander was in the shower turning on the tap as soon as he was done double locking the door. The water ran over him and his hands scrubbed all over. He had just woken up after a night of drinking - with no memory of his last waking hours - and had been naked in bed with a vampire. The rumours that had been circling about vampires not having tan lines were true, because Spike was completely white all over. Xander whimpered at that thought. He didn’t mean to look. But how could he not with Spike reclining all opened like . . .
“Oh, shit, HOT!”
Xander jumped up and down a way from the shower spray, and turned on cold water tap. He had forgotten to prepare the water temperature in his haste to clean whatever ‘residue’ that remained from night before.
Xander was very proud that he hadn’t looked down at himself at all until he cleaned away the remains of last night. There was no way that he would want to see . . . that. Ever. In his mind it never even happened and there was nothing to wash away in the first place. He nodded firmly.
As he waited for the temperature to adjust, he rooted in the medical cabinet for that super-anti-bacterial soap he had bought for those nights when he was covered with dead demon gunk, but had never used. It was time to put that expensive baby to use!
In the shower once more and he was spreading the soap everywhere, his eyes screwed shut as he rubbed. He had never cleaned himself so thoroughly in his entire life. He was feeling that his skin was beginning to turn red, from the still somewhat high temperature of the water or the insistent scrubbing, he didn’t know nor did he stop his actions.
“Pet, you okay in there?”
~ So far for pretending! ~
Xander’s eyes opened wide and he started scrubbing harder, uncaring of the water pouring into his unblinking eyes.
He didn’t answer, though his eyes were staring straight at the door as if waiting for Spike to use his vampire strength and break it down. Maybe he should answer.
“Aw, don’t be long now. I’m starting to miss that cock-sucking mouth of yours.”
Xander started coughing when he sucked in some water with his gasp and he blinked fuzzily. His shaking hand reached out to the sink, picked up his toothpaste, let the cap fall between his legs uncaringly and he used both his hands to squeeze a large amount of green mint paste into his mouth. His fingers made sure it covered all the hollows in his mouth, he continued relentlessly even when he gagged. Finally, he spat it all out and gurgled with shower water.
A soft knock on the door had him choking once more.
“Didn’t slip and twist your pretty little ankle, now did ya?” Spike’s voice drifted through the wooden door. “Might have to come in and tend to you.” Xander could hear the leering and could practically see the eyebrows wiggling.
A squeal from the back of his throat sounded. “No, I’m fine. Be out in a minute,” the soaked brunet wheezed out.
“Aw.” Xander had a flash of pouting Spike in his head. Then something about the vampire’s mouth and tongue on something long, there was swallowing, with the moving of the Adam’s apple in a white throat and lots of phallic shapes and long pale fingers . . . caressing and twisting . . .
~ Oh, god, no, please, no. Stupid alcohol selective amnesia! ~ Xander thought, squeezing his fists at his eyes then yelping when he felt his eyes complain from the soap in them.
Spike was still talking, “—minute. I’m feeling mighty--- empty waiting for you on that nippy big bed of yours.” His voice then lowered to a throaty whisper, “Be waiting till you fill the void, Viking.”
Xander could vaguely hear Spike walk away and the sounds of the bed squeaking when someone jumped on it, except he was too busy urgently lathering soap all over his member. He didn’t care if he was chafing himself.
~ Filling him my ass!!! ~ Then he giggled madly. ~ Actually, Spike’s ass. ~
“Xan-der!” Spike whined from the bed. “You better not be having fun in there without me, luv.”
Xander didn’t reply and continued to rub vigorously. He could still feel . . . that. Which sure sounded insane, since he couldn’t remember anything. But he could! The vision of holes that really needed filling and smacking balls, and long hard . . .
“My- my- my, what a lovely sight you are.”
Xander’s head snapped to the side, his eyes bugged at the sight. Spike was reclining comfortably against the bathroom door, still naked, his hand rubbing his abdomen, dangerously close to his . . . ~ NOT looking! Eyes up! ~ Which didn’t help for Spike’s darkened blue eyes were staring at Xander’s lower body where he was innocently purifying himself from vampire cooties.
“Little minx couldn’t wait for me.” Spike’s tongue wet his lower lip. “Well, don’t stop on my account, lover.” He raised an amused eyebrow.
Xander twisted around, a little too quick, his foot slipped on the wet bathtub and right as the porcelain floor was going to make his acquaintance, cold hands pulled him up and right into a cold hard chest.
Spike grinned at him. “Aren’t we a fine damsel? Fancy meeting you here.” He had his hand firmly on Xander’s ass, and squeezed.
Xander nodded, smiled faintly, and promptly passed out.
Spike tilted his head and frowned.
“Bugger.”
To Be or Not To Be A Dream
It was all a dream.
Xander looked around the Magic Box, bored. Since Anya had left, Xander felt it was somewhat his responsibility to help out Giles in the shop- even a little. Thankfully, it seemed to be a slow day. Giles was shifting through the old books, organizing them into “To be sold” and “Keep locked up for emergency”. Dawn was frowning over her homework notebook; she still seemed to be sketching a horse with two heads of all things from what Xander had seen when had passed by her fifteen minutes ago. Willow, Tara and Buffy looked as if they were having their own study group in an effort to fill in the blonde slayer on classes she had missed when she helped her mother recover from surgery.
Xander sighed and rested his head on his hand against the glass countertop. He might just as well go back home than stand there doing nothing. He shuddered. On the other hand, an apocalypse might happen and he wouldn’t want to miss that.
He could still remember waking up in the morning, a little later than usual, but it was a Sunday. His eyes had opened up expectantly with a sense of dread.
Xander held his breath waiting for something, but nothing happened. He pushed himself off the bed, and sure thing, he was still naked. He rushed to his closet and pulled on his robe. After making sure he was covered, he began looking for Spike, stake in hand. It was the same sharp wood that he had crafted and hid under his bed for an emergency- and he wasn’t about to start thinking why he hadn’t used it last night.
He choked out, “Spike?”
Nothing.
Spike was nowhere. Not in bed. ~ Thank God! ~ Not in the bathroom. Not in the living room. And he double checked the large closet – making a mental note to throw away what shoes Anya couldn’t pack with his mini-TV – but zilch. It was as if Spike had disappeared into thin air. Or--- burst into dust.
Xander looked around the floor for the signs of dust to find none. Alas, with the shades he had up in the apartment, the sun wouldn’t even singe the vampire.
~ Maybe he decided to disappear after he took my heterosexual virginity? ~ Xander thought coldly as he looked at himself in the bedroom mirror with a frown. He didn’t look any different. ~ But from what Spike said, I seemed to be the one who did the gulp taking. ~ Slowly, Xander turned his eyes towards the bed. With over-determined steps, he was at the bed. He bent over it without touching the sheets and ran intent eyes over the linen. They didn't seem to be--- soiled. But if he had – you know – to Spike then nothing of him would be – there, right? And for all Xander knew, vampires didn't --- leave ‘imprints’.
Xander shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was just thinking that.
~ I’ll burn the covers. ~
With a firm nod establishing what he was to do, he headed to the bathroom. A minute into cleaning his mouth, something hit him as 'off' as he was looking at his reflection in the mirror over the sink.
With a quick turn, he came face to face with --- no one. Xander pouted around the toothbrush and looked down at his toothpaste covered hand, a result of squeezing the tube in his unneeded excitement. In the movies, there was always a vampire standing behind the hero (or victim) without appearing in the mirror. It seemed real life was different.
He rinsed his mouth and cleaned his hand. He then recapped the paste. At that moment, the young half-awake man stood frozen, eyebrows drawn back as something hit him. The toothpaste had its cap on, when he distinctly recalled discarding it in the tub- it also might be the cause of his ungraceful spill. Brown eyes surveyed the bathroom and nothing seemed to be out of place. Xander even peered into the bathtub and it sparkled, no sign of his hasty shower mere hours ago.
His eyes turned towards the bathroom door, the one had Spike undoubtedly broken to enter and knock him unconscious.
~ Well, he was responsible for the manly bout of unconsciousness! ~
Xander’s heart thumped. The lock was untouched, in one piece and the door seemed to be in a similar state. He rushed into the living room where he was sure there were bottles of empty strong liquor scattered, he knew it, he remembered being crazy-drunk enough to invite Spike over for heavy nightcaps. And yet, the table was clean.
He twisted his route towards the kitchen. His mouth was dry when he opened the cupboard only to find the two glass bottles that were drained last night, filled to the brim with their crystal clear liquid. Xander’s hands gripped the counter to stop from falling . . . from fainting this time- out of relief.
~ Oh-my-God, it wasn’t real. It was all a dream. A delusion. Hell no. A freaking nightmare! ~ A grin split his face. ~ I didn’t sleep with Spike!! ~ He did a mental dance only because his feet felt a little wobbly. But he did have a hop in his step when he went to get dressed, now ready for a bright day with no drunken regrets.
Yep, it wasn’t real. It was all in his mind.
Xander scooted out of Giles’ way. But even when he felt normality return, he knew he couldn’t wait to get out of his own home. He needed to be as far away as he could get from that dream as well as the reason to start thinking why the hell would his crazy brain make up him and Spike having sex.
So, that was why he was here, bored to the point of contemplating asking Giles to teach him some fancy new expressions to “bored”. Of course, that as well as helping the Englishman with running the shop.
Xander smiled widely at Giles who frowned at him annoyed.
“Xander stop daydreaming and go ask that young gentleman if he requires assistance.”
~ I'm not daydreaming about Spike! ~ He wanted to scream. Then he blinked. ~ There’s customers? ~ Xander’s eyes surveyed the room. ~ Heh, what do you know, the night must bring out magic users. ~ He pushed himself up and followed Giles’ instruction.
While he was busy frowning at the young man’s description of the item he was looking for, the doorbell jingled, and Spike strode in. That was when Xander looked around wildly afraid that he was disturbing the room's inhabitants with the loud thumping of his heart. Thankfully, no one seemed to be paying him attention, well, if you exclude the hopeful look in the customer’s eyes. Xander smiled apologetically and asked him to describe what he was looking for once more.
However, even as the man was speaking, Xander was following Spike with his eyes. Thoughts of waking up with Spike next to him made themselves known, and oh so real. He watched as Spike casually flopped down next to Dawn smiling back at the young girl’s grin, without even so much as acknowledging Xander’s presence. It seemed that Dawn was waiting for Spike to help her with her history homework.
That didn’t set well with Giles who appeared upset that his slayer’s sister hadn't asked ask him for assistance, especially since it was about his motherland.
Dawn looked at Giles with a bored expression that only teenagers could affect. “Spike lived it.” And that seemed to be the end of it as she turned her back to the older man and started asking Spike about certain periods. Xander held back a chuckle when Spike shot Giles a raised eyebrow superior look to which his fellow Englishman returned with a blank one. Xander recognized it from being on the receiving end many times before. It meant that he was upset, but wouldn’t tire himself by bothering or wasting time over it.
“Uh huh, and what is it used for?” Xander asked the man in front of him, distracted. Spike looked normal. Like he had always looked . . . collected and composed. Not like he'd just had sex the night before with Xander. This was greatsince 'apparently' it was all in Xander’s head!
~ God! Why the hell am I still thinking about it?! It’s not like I remember the sex happening. And how messed up is that? ~
“Bloody hell! This happened like fifty years ago, why should I learn about it?” Dawn whined.
Buffy raised her head from her huddle with Willow and Tara.
“Dawn!” she chastised.
Dawn rolled her eyes and groaned theatrically. “Not like you haven’t said it or worse,” the teenager shot back.
Buffy then turned her attention to Spike with a threatening look at her sister’s use of British expletives. He just looked back bored before resuming helping Dawn. Well, that was new. Spike usually loved to exchange barbs with Buffy, whatever attention he could get. Buffy seemed a bit confused as well before shrugging it off and returning - albeit reluctantly - to her studies.
Spike leaned back in his chair and waved his hand as he told an enwrapped Dawn some story about him meeting this guy Dawn was studying, and how he was a pathetic trotter.
~ What does that mean? ~ Xander tilted his head and watched Spike’s hand move as he spoke. ~ Hm. Did Spike have black nails last--? ~
“--Yes, I believe we have that in stock. Xander!”
Xander snapped at Giles’ exasperated call. Strange. When did Giles start talking with the customer-guy?
“Bring a jar of Darsen leaves from the basement if you’re done being so preoccupied.”
Xander started to fidget. He was all but gaping at Spike. That was bad. Did anyone notice? Nah. Why would they? They never did notice him past the 'we're sorry Anya left you but we never liked her' stage.
Nevertheless, didn’t Spike go out of his way to look like he was ignoring him? Like more than usual? Xander ran his fingers through his hair. It was his evil imagination working on overdrive again. Why would Spike be as creeped out as he was about their evening together? Or why would he even look Xander’s way like he did everyone else? Spike even nodded acknowledging annoying-customer-guy!
Xander’s fingers tightened stiffly around his strands, making him wince in pain. It wasn’t like that 'gay thing' actually happened. Or that they had even shared the dream about the gay thing. Although, weirder things have happened in small town Sunnydale.
Xander’s floundering thoughts had only lasted a split second. “Uh, sure thing, G-ma--- uh, Giles,” he finished, correcting himself sheepishly at Giles’ warning stare before escaping to the basement.
Threading through the overstocked cellar, Xander started reflecting once more.
~ Okay. Better here than alone at the apartment. So, dream, nightmare, whatever. Why would I nightmare about Spike? ~ He flapped his hands around when he walked into spider webbing. ~ Ugh. Really doesn't make sense. Maybe Wills or Tara could make heads out of fangs from this weird ass dream? ~ He bit his lip worriedly and leaned closer to look at glass case with floating eyes that seemed to gaze at him, judgingly.
Xander crossed his arms huffily. "Bodiless eyes judge me?" He looked at them indignantly. "Well, you can't. See, since it's all you can do." Too bad no one was around to hear this crack; it was one of his good ones. "It's understandable if my mind decided to take the uber-pink fairy path that it would choose Captain Bright Head. Not only is he the only guy I hang out with outside of work who's kinda cool which right away excludes Giles – and don't dare pity me –" He shook his finger warningly. The eyes continued to float. "-but Spike is also strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled---" he mumbled, trailing off when the eyes seemed more amused than judging. He refrained from sticking his tongue and took the higher road and ignored them.
Now. Why was he down in this room talking to dead eyes? Xander smacked his forehead. Right. Goods for selling. He began checking the shelves for the item Giles told him to bring up.
~ Yuck. Mold. Why would someone jar mold? ~ He squinted his eyes at the tag. ~ Damn, five bucks? Maybe I can sneak back to my parents’ basement and sell Giles some of the mold there. I bet it’s more potent. ~
"Darsen leaves," he mumbled loudly. "What the hell are Darsen leaves?"
“These what you're looking for?”
Xander shrieked, jumped and turned around concurrently. Spike looked at him amused. “Spike?! Shit, sneak much?” Xander placed his palm over his erratic heart. “What the hell are you doing here?” he snapped.
Spike’s eyes turned upward. “Slayer kicked me out so I can smoke my ‘poison’ somewhere else.” He scoffed. “Not like she won’t conk out by some baddie at any day.”
Xander rolled his eyes. “Aw, you’re so considerate, aren’t you, Biteless?” The brunet young man was so proud of himself. He was worried that if he ran into Spike he would act freaked out about something that had apparently only happened in a dream, a result of his brain to some extent thinking that Spike wasn't that bad to look at. Nonetheless, he wasn’t freaking, he was acting like himself, and so was Spike. Xander wasn’t acting like he'd had sex with the blond vampire with the nakedness and the touching with the hands and the lips and Spike wasn’t after Xander for more since. It. Was. All. In. His. Head.
~ Man, Giles should really consider having an air conditioner down here. ~
“Harris?” Spike tilted his head, pulling back the boy's attention.
“I’m okay!” Xander choked out. “I mean-- yes?”
Spike waved the jar that had the label “Darsen Leaves” on it in front of him. The vampire had a rolled eyed annoyed look on as an indication of how ridiculously he thought the boy was acting.
Xander smiled somewhat relieved. All was right in the world, Spike thought he was an idiot and they didn’t have sex last night! It was all in Xander’s over intoxicated mind. Even if in fact there weren't any booze. “Uh, right. Um, thanks, Spike, I guess,” he stammered. Spike shook his head with a chuckle and held it out, eyebrows raised, waiting.
Right. He was supposed to take it. Xander grabbed at the jar. He then watched detached from his own body as he was drawn forcefully forward. Smack into Spike’s chest.
~ Heh, my first déjà vu --- it’s scary. ~ Xander thought with a mad snigger. ~ Eep, cool and wet! ~
That would be Spike licking his neck and nibbling at his ear.
“Mmmm, miss me, Viking?”
~ Well, that puts an end to that, doesn’t it? ~ Xander thought, a little lightheaded and not a little perplexed.
Not a dream.
Oblivious Prey
“Strong and mysterious . . . noticing my well-muscled build, eh?” Spike rubbed his hand on Xander’s lower back.
“No, no, no!” Xander wiggled out of Spike’s hold and jumped away from him. His finger shook with each syllable. “No man-on-man touching! See, this is wrong!” He began only to be side tracked. “Not that being gay is bad . . . just the gay with me is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”
Xander growled in frustration when Spike merely grinned at him. Was that the kind of smile you smiled when your lover did or said something endearing? More determined, Xander started to count on his fingers. “There were no drinks, bathroom was not decontamination disaster 2001, no broken locks . . . the bed sheets are debatable since I don’t know how vampire anatomy works.” Both hands by now were stuck through longish brown hair, straining the roots. He couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, and yet, they didn’t seem in any hurry to stop.
“So you must’ve misinterpreted my ‘observation’ of the fact, I’m very observant, really ask anyone, I notice things and not think, I just blurt them out without thinking. Damn it, stop smiling at me like that!” Spike’s grin only widened. “And, hey, what the hell is it with the Viking tease? It has to be a freaking coincidence coz it was a dream. It had to be!” Xander whimpered, his eyes somewhat glazed. He wasn’t about to cry, he was a man, damn it. “Unless the dream is… this?” he whispered pitifully.
Spike said nothing throughout Xander’s verbal babble with – apparently - himself. The boy wasn’t even looking at the vampire anymore. Spike bit the inside of his lip to stop the inevitable wide smirk from showing itself. As much as Xander was a bumbling idiot, even he would put things together when he realized that Spike was playing with him. And then there would be a stake with William the Bloody’s name carved into it. And Spike wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it thanks to the stinking chip lodged in his noggin.
Although, the chip did make things easier, seeing as even when Spike had sided with Adam last year, they didn’t kill poor helpless his-bark-was-worse-than-his-bite-Master-vampire who took down two slayers in his time. Well, they sure would see that his bark was worse than his bite!
~ Although, nothing as drastic as getting one of them humans killed, the Slayer likes to keep her things. I’d be dust before their blood cools. ~
Spike knew that Xander had only himself to blame for reminding his ex-roommate how fun and easy it was to mess with the Slayer and her groupies, especially Xander. And if there were two people in this town that Spike knew well, they were Buffy and her boy. Unfortunately for Xander, he was the lesser of two evils. He would be the one who would keep Spike entertained, distracted from other matters, without much strain and if Spike played it right, without any risk to the vampire’s wellbeing.
It was pure genius to make the virgin Xander – at least to the joys of gay sex – think that he'd had his first sexual experience with a man. He had him believe that he had sex with Spike -a vampire whom he hated- under the influence, and retained no memory of what had happened. From then on, it was easy to put thoughts in his head. Minds are a complexity that with little deliberation could fabricate whole scenarios of things that never happened.
Xander would be the perfect witness. Lawyers would have their way with him. And Spike had realized that fact the moment he met the impressionable boy and stored the information away for later use.
It was easy to lead Xander to assume that he and Spike had sex. Of course, as much as Spike would love to have the boy think that HE was the one who was buggered into oblivion, even Xander would wonder why he wasn’t a little sore in that region that any well informed person would know that the recipient of the screwing should have post intercourse discomfort. Therefore, for the sake of his devilish plan, Spike had to lower himself, and pretend that he was on the receiving end.
~ And the bloody kid just took it in stride! Like a Master vampire would let a pitiful human have a go at him – hammered or not – and let him live afterwards? Guess I should count my blessing that Rupert preserved his children’s innocence and locked away the ‘good’ reads. That way I can have my fun. ~
The hard part was when Xander had conked out in the bathroom. Spike had thought about laying him in bed then joining him and snuggling to the enticing warmth. And start acting like the besotted lover when the human woke up. That would have sure gotten a rise out of the human. But Spike had realized that after the moment wore off, Xander would make it all seem like the evil vampire had taken advantage of him (even if he were the one who did the fucking) and stake the vampire. So, Spike’s mind had come up with something even better. What better way to make sure that Xander’s reaction floundered, to tire the boy’s mind so much that he wouldn’t think about staking Spike, than via the classic and make it all seem like a dream.
That way Xander would be too busy figuring out WHY he would dream about sleeping with a man - with Spike - to think about staking any defenseless vampire. Spike deducted that at first, Xander would be extremely relieved that the daunting event had never happened. Then his mind would ask the questions. And give him answers that would confuse the young man even more.
And, if the speech Xander was giving the empty basement before Spike moved out of the cover of darkness and into sight meant anything, it was that the predictable human mind was moving according to plan.
The hardest thing was giving Xander enough clues to reach the desired conclusion of it all being a hallucination of his sick mind. Spike had to move quickly, and with vampire speed it had been easy. He had made sure that Xander had no evidence of his hasty clean up on his body. Spike wouldn’t deny that he had enjoyed the view during the drying process. But, then again, so did unconscious Xander.
The second thing he did was check the bathroom door for indications of the forceful lock picking. He was almost convinced at the time from the look on the extremely wet human that he thought Spike had broken in with his vampire strength.
~ What would be the fun in that? I say have a talent, use it. ~
He then had the bathroom cleaned from the mess Xander had created in his haste to rid himself of Spike’s contact. The vampire should take offence of Xander’s fervent reaction, but he didn’t, it was all very amusing! Besides, Spike knew that he was good looking; the boy was only caught in the demands of denial.
Then there was the living room which was filled with the remains of their drunken night. Glasses were cleaned and put away and the room was tidied to how it had originally been the night before. The challenge was the dry bottles of liquor. Spike had no time to risk going out in daylight to buy more booze to replace them, so he merely shrugged, filled the bottles with clear tap water and placed them in the same cupboard Xander took them out from the previous night. Spike wasn’t worried that Xander would find out they weren’t as they seemed. If Spike knew the young man, he would bet that there had been a self-inflicted internal beating before about the drawbacks of drinking. And even if the frantic human would later come to the fact that it never happened outside of his overactive mind, the berating would still take affect. Later, Spike would have enough time to replace the containers with the real stuff.
Spike came out of his recollection to a silence filled poorly lit room. He refocused on Xander who was looking back at him with lost eyes.
“It really happened, didn’t it?” he asked pitifully. There was an underlining to the question that begged the vampire to deny it.
Spike tilted his head in thought. Was this getting out of hand? Maybe it would bode well to get on the human’s good graces, give him an easy out and forgo his plan. The boy would always have doubts and would forever owe the vampire for the favor.
“Could show you your finger prints on my bum if you like?”
Xander gulped and shook his head, making some too long bangs fall over his forehead. His shoulders sagged in defeat. He was resigned his fate.
Spike pouted and moved closer. “Ya really don’t remember, do you?” He sighed. “You told me I was your first. Guess that counts for nothing now, eh?”
Xander blinked raising his head. He opened his mouth, he wasn’t sure what he was about to say in reply to what Spike had said, because at that moment Giles’ voice hollered down on them.
“Xander! I sincerely hope that there’re dire reasons for taking your time in bringing up the items the customer requires.”
Xander winced. “Aw, shit!” He turned tracks and ran up the stairs.
Spike narrowed his eyes at the missed opportunity. He would see to it that the Watcher paid for this untimely interruption. It would take him some time to perfect another chance to corner his prey once more so perfectly.
With a more purposeful stride, Spike followed Xander’s trail, allowing his demon to relish the scent of confusion and worry that the human had left. Funny, the vampire thought, it seemed to emanate mostly due to Giles than the recent eye-opener.
No wonder Giles wanted Xander to hurry, they were closing up shop. It seemed a bit early, but it was somewhat slow these couple of weeks. The only excitement that befell the group was Anya’s abrupt departure. Spike had to thank her the next time he saw her, if she hadn’t broken up with the carpenter, Spike wouldn’t have run into him at the Bronze, seen the opening for a few free drinks and a game of stick or two and eventually the birth of the new entertainment. Passions was becoming a tad predictable and he needed something exciting for a change, his other rituals were proving to be pretty sad and unbecoming of his status.
The Slayer and the Witches were packing their books, still yapping away like they didn’t need to breathe. Giles was closing the register, giving the grateful customer his purchase and bidding him a goodnight. Spike watched the young man clutch his brown paper bag and rush out hastily. A good night indeed, he thought, especially since Darsen Leaves were to be boiled like tea and drank to keep up stamina. Thanks to vampire sense of smell, Spike knew exactly stamina for what.
Dawn was biting down on the end of her pencil, she was back to drawing since he helped her finish her history outline. He leaned to have a closer look, and snorted when he saw that she had sketched cartoon replicas of all of them. The teenager looked up at him grinning. She pointed at a rough copy of her sister.
“Buffy’s got a stick in her pants.” She giggled.
Spike chuckled. “I always say, talent should never be wasted, Bit.” He really liked the Slayer’s little sister. She had a wicked streak to match his own, and she knew how to have fun.
“What are you corrupting my sister with this time, Spike?” Buffy crossed over and looked at the paper. She blinked.
“Oh, hey, Dawnie, these are pretty good.” She frowned narrowing on something. “Though that’s kinda big for a stake doný’t you. . .” She didn’t finish her sentence because Spike and Dawn snickered in unison.
Buffy placed her hands on her hips and looked between them. “I don’t know what you two are up to, but you be careful or I’ll tell mom,” she warned.
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Yeah, very mature Buffy.”
Buffy stuck her tongue out at Dawn before she ruffled her sister’s long hair causing her to giggle.
Spike’s eyes softened gazing at Buffy before he shook his head roughly.
~ Urgh! Must stop doing that. Even Harris said he noticed. And that’s the whole point of this little game, keeping my mind off the bloody slayer. Uh, have some buggering fun for a change! ~ He looked around for Xander and found the boy in the furthest corner away. He zeroed in but before he moved he heard Buffy talk.
“Giles, tonight is the Sappy Girly Summers Movie night, so I won’t be patrolling. It’s been quiet nights on the Hellmouth for a while now.”
Giles chastened her, “And that’s why keeping our guard is prudent. It - for all we know – could be the quiet before the storm.”
Before Spike knew what he was doing, his mouth came to life, “I’ll do it.” His face darkened when they all looked at him. “Keep an eye out for the beasties, kill a couple of baddies, of course, for a price.”
Dawn frowned. “But it’s been like forever since you got paid for that. . .” She stopped talking when Spike shot her the ‘shut up or I’ll shove your tongue in your pocket’. It was not like no one knew about Spike’s crush on Buffy, she thought annoyed. Then she looked at Buffy and Giles who were thinking over Spike’s offer unaware and she corrected that notion.
“Very well, you’ll get your pay tomorrow night when we are all still alive.” Giles gave the vampire a firm look of warning to which Spike replied with the two finger salute.
“How do we know we can trust him?” Buffy piped up.
Spike rolled his eyes. ~ Sure, trust me with your sis and mum but don’t … ~ He internally growled. ~ Hell, bloody shouldn’t trust me, I’m evil! ~
He sighed put-on. “The pup can keep an eye on me.” He pointed at the boy who now had the dear in the head lights look.
“No, not keeping any eye on Spike!”
Giles nodded. “Seeing as Xander doesn’t have anything pressing to do tomorrow, I see that’s a fine idea,” the Englishman said, ignoring Xander’s protest as if it was never spoken.
Xander moved out of his corner and glared at Giles. He wanted to protest some more but Giles had that black look on his face.
Buffy smiled at her friend. “Xander, feel free to stake Spike if he makes any trouble.”
Spike’s half hooded eyes racked over Xander’s form making him shudder. “Yeah, stake me if I’m being bad.” He leered which went unnoticed by everyone except Xander, that or they were used to Spike’s ways by now.
“No, no, staking!” Xander glared back.
“Xander. You okay?”
~ Great, I’m making a scene. ~ Xander turned around with a cheery grin. “Sure, Wills, I think I snorted some mold down there. Got me a little oozy.”
“Fresh night air will do you wonders, mate.” Spike looked at him communicating something with his eyes.
Xander crossed his arms overpowered. “Fresh air with you blowing disgusting smoke at my face all night, oh goody!”
Buffy slung her backpack on her shoulder and looked up at Xander. “You sure you’ll be okay keeping an eye on Spike? He might not be able to hurt you but he can bore you to death with his never ending babble.”
~ Look who’s talking, bint. ~
“I can do other things…” Spike wiggled his eyebrows as he let the sentence hang.
“Ugh, you’re a pig Spike!” Buffy scrunched her nose at the blond.
“I’m sure Vik---”
Xander stepped in between the glaring blonds. He could swear he felt a current go through him then. He gave Spike a look to shut him up then turned to Buffy, giving Spike his back. “Ah, don’t worry, Buffster. I know how to handle him.”
“I’ll say…” Spike murmured for Xander’s ears only. Xander felt his face heat up.
“You sure you’re okay, Xan?” Willow came closer to look at his face.
He coughed, grateful that Spike moved away from his back. “Yeah, guys, I guess I kinda need the fresh air and to keep my mind occupied.”
Willow looked at him with thought. Xander hoped she couldn’t read it on him. If anyone knew him inside and out it was his Wills. She came closer and held his hand.
~ Oh, God, here it comes, “we would love you even if you were a gay blond vampire loving freak, Xander.” ~ The only reason he hadn’t protested about the vampire watch that much was the look of warning in Spike’s eyes that said he would tell his friends – and oh, God, Dawn - if Xander didn’t play along. It was clear the vampire was still upset after they were interrupted in the basement and Xander was in too much of a hurry to get to Giles to tell Spike that forgetting about their night together wasn’t personal. He figured that he owed him tonight’s patrol to smooth things out – didn’t mean he had to be happy about that - and blame it all on the drink. He still hadn’t figured out that part. Maybe there were Maintenance Fairies that fixed up the bathroom, the lock, the living room and restocked his liquor cabinet?
“You know I’m here for you, Xander?” she started. It always began like that, didn’t it?
~ To talk to about the joys of gay loving? ~
“This must be a confusing time for you.”
~You think! ~
“Your mind must be thinking, why? Was it something you did? You’re searching your head trying to remember what happened, if you forgot something.”
~ No, not really. Spike kinda filled me in. ~
“I understand. It happens to the best of us, Xan.”
~ Screwing William the Bloody in the ass? Heh. Now that I think about it, I owe the Initiative that I’m alive. No way he’d let me live through that! Oh, GOD, I took advantage of HIM! Not the other way around. He could’ve said no, and for all I know, he did, he couldn’t do anything about it. I raped Spike! ~
“If you ever want to talk about it…”
~ How I’m a bastard that took advantage of someone who couldn’t fight back from being assaulted without getting zapped in the head? Sure! Why the fucking hell not! ~
“You are better off without Anya, you know. I always told you she wasn’t good for you…”
~ Yeah, and … ~
“Huh? Say what?”
Xander could swear he heard Spike snicker. But, when he turned to look, the vampire had a bored look on his face.
“You done chit chatting yet?”
Xander shook his head; well, maybe he didn’t rape Spike, and then tapped at Willow’s comforting hand.
“Thanks, Will. I’ll make sure I know that.”
Willow grinned at him, happy to be of help. She walked back to her girlfriend feeling proud, and followed Buffy and Dawn out the jingling door, leaving the boys and Giles to lock up.
“Come now then, don’t have much time to waste.” Spike slung his arm over Xander shoulders and was delighted when they stiffened yet didn’t push him off. He was still hyped from the aroma of humiliation, dread, and surprisingly even self-disgust that wafted from the human from his amusing conversation with Red. He wished he could have been in Xander’s head. “You have to work to get your prey just where you want it, and make sure you are the one that walks away prosperous and . . . satisfied.”
“Neat.” Xander replied dryly and let Spike lead him out. “And what am I, the bait to your prey?”
Spike’s only response was to smirk mysteriously.
