Rating: NC 17
Summary: Ethan Harris died and left his son under his best friend's care.
Disclaimer: they belong to Joss and co etc.
Distribution: No way!!! Sure you can, if you don't I'll let you meet my Ripper. Just tell me first.
Pairing: S/X eventually Notes: 1- Ethan is American and he's Xander's father. 2- Xander is 12 years old and looks like a fifth grade student.

Warning: Drug use, an almost rape attempt and bad language.

Thanks to Ebony, Mera, Beck and Minniemax for the great beta.

Italics & *& capitals = emphasize ~ = thoughts

Life of Experience

Farah

Stage One

Part One

Xander ran his eyes around the huge lobby of his new home, yes, his new home. It had been a week since his father died leaving his guardianship to his best friend, Rupert Giles. That British man that had always visited them, played golf with his Dad and still ruffled his hair even though he was 12 years old. Mr. Giles and his Dad had been close friends since they attended Oxford together in Briton. The college for smart people. It surprised him that even though Mr. Giles graduated college with honors, he chose the job of a librarian in Sunnydale high school. His Dad told him that Mr. Giles' devotion for books was the reason for his choice. Also, that school was where Mrs. Giles, the former Ms. Jenny Calendar, used to be the computer teacher.

Mrs. Giles died when she gave birth to their only son, William, who was now a senior in the same high school. Xander had never met the older boy, but Mr. Giles always complained to his Dad about William's 'aggravating' behavior. He looked that word up in the dictionary and found out it meant 'annoying'. His Dad always reminded Mr. Giles that William was a teenager and teenagers were always difficult to raise. At that moment his Dad would turn towards him and give him that warm look before saying softly, "I guess I'm soon to find out."

Xander blinked trying to stop the tears from falling down. He clutched his backpack to him hard, and took a deep breath trying to clear his mind from the thoughts of his Dad because it always made him cry. He was not going to do that in front of Mr. Giles. He turned around to find the British man entering the front door holding another set of boxes. After his Dad died, Xander spent the week at Jesse's place until Mr. Giles completed the guardianship forms. Jesse's mom helped him pack his stuff from his place the previous week. He loved Mrs. McNally, she had been more of a mother to him than his real Mom, who neither bothered to come to the funeral nor asked about him.

"Right then," Mr. Giles said after he gently placed down the last set. "I believe this is it for today. I shall return tomorrow for the rest of your belongings." His guardian flashed a warm smile at him.

Xander couldn't help but smile back. "Thanks, Mr. G," he murmured softly.

Mr. Giles raised a hand. "Call me …"

"I'm not calling you 'dad'!" Xander spoke tightly before biting his lip. "I'm sorry, it's just …"

"Don't explain anything to me, Xander," Mr. Giles said kindly. "I completely understand how you feel. Having just lost your father a week ago, must be really hard. And I wasn't suggesting that …"

Xander shook his head and cut the man's speech off. "You don't understand! A week or ten years, I'm not calling you 'dad'! I have a Dad. Even if he's gone, I …" It was too much for him to handle his voice wavered and suddenly he broke into tears. He lowered his head and hugged his backpack to him forcefully. He felt Mr. Giles pulling him into a hug and he appreciated it. He didn't care that he was crying. He was twelve and it had been only been a week since he had lost his Dad. His chest was burning and his emotions were on fire. The pain was too much to control and it was tearing him apart. He was rocking so hard and crying like he had never cried before.

Mr. Giles kept hugging him and muttering words of comfort. Xander didn't comprehend what the man was saying and he didn't care. The important thing was that Mr. Giles' voice was soft and the British accent was comforting. His head began to hurt and he just wanted to stop because it hurt more to keep going. He gave a few sniffles before he stiffened and closed his eyes and just let his head rest on his guardian's chest.

Mr. Giles was petting his hair smoothly and it felt nice. Soothing and calming. "I know I could never replace your father and I'm not going to attempt that," Mr. Giles spoke. "But I will do whatever I can to make you feel as comfortable as you had felt back at your own home."

Xander raised his head and smiled up at the man through his drying tears.

Mr. Giles smiled back causing Xander to blush, it was the first time he had a touching scene with this man. His relationship with Mr. Giles wasn't as close as his with Jesse's dad. Mr. Giles never took him fishing and the times he spent with him were always in the company of his Dad.

He backed away, looking elsewhere trying to find anything to change the subject. He spotted the large number of boxes. "Uh … we should get those to my room, right?" He hadn't seen his room yet and judging from the size of the house he could bet that it was huge.

"Let me call William to help us," Mr. Giles suggested as he stood by the stairs and called. "Will! Will! Come down here!"

There was no answer and Mr. Giles sighed with exasperation. "I suppose he's wearing his headset again."

Xander giggled quietly. He knew he would enjoy Mr. Giles and Will's battles. Shaking his head, the British man headed to the boxes and lifted one before looking at him. "Let's take some of them upstairs and go see what that little monster's doing."

Xander tried to pick up a box but it was too heavy especially with his backpack on. He looked for a smaller box and grinned when he succeeded at lifting it up, and then he hurried after his guardian to his room.

Wow! Xander thought stunned as he dropped the box he held along with his backpack and gaped at his new room. It was a huge room. He could put lots of stuff in it and it would still not be enough to fill it. Mr. Giles sat the box he held and went to his son's room. Xander eagerly followed him, wanting to see the Will Mr. Giles always talked about. He absolutely didn't want to miss the shouting match. Mr. Giles didn't even knock on the door, he just entered and Xander was right behind him.

He couldn't hold in the snicker as he watched Mr. Giles' son reclining in a chair wearing his headphones and nodding his head enthusiastically with the music. His eyes were firmly closed and he had a funny expression on his face. William Giles was a lean boy with blond, almost white, bleached hair that was done spiky. He was dressed like one of those rock stars on MTV and his nails were polished in black. His black shirt had torn sleeves that showed his muscular arms that were even bigger than Billy Anderson's, the boy in his class. Xander touched his own arms. They were annoyingly slim. God, he hated that he didn't hit puberty yet.

Mr. Giles approached his son and grabbed the headphones from his ears. Will took few seconds to grasp why he wasn't hearing music anymore. Then he opened his sharp blue eyes and frowned up at his father. "What in bleedin' hell did you do that for?! I bought those since you kept yappin' about not wanting to hear any of my bands in the house! I did what you said!" the bleached boy shouted at his father.

"First, watch your language young man and secondly, as much as I like not to listen to that rubbish again I want you to be able to hear me when I call you." Mr. Giles scowled down at the blond boy.

"Were you calling me, Pops?" Will asked giving his old man the innocent face.

Mr. Giles rolled his eyes. "Well, I want you downstairs immediately to help with the boxes."

"What boxes?" Will retorted irritated.

"Xander's," Mr. Giles answered looking like he wanted to smack Will on the head.

"Who's Xander?"

"That would be me," Xander answered and waved his hand to the older boy.

Spike stared at the young boy who stood by his door. He looked at him from head to toe. The boy was obviously about 10, wearing baggy clothes. His hair was a very dark brown and shaggy. His eyes were big and brown and he looked quite healthy. His upper lip was slightly sticking up which made him look adorable.

Spike was actually shocked when he heard about Mr. Harris' death. He was a close friend to his Pop. It just didn't seem right that he wouldn't be listening to Rupert yapping about what he had done with his friend. Not like Spike listened anyway. The blond was even more shocked when he heard that his father was going to adopt Mr. Harris' little boy. Aunt Lily told him lots of stories about the boy's family that Spike doubted Xander even knew.

So, that was his new baby brother? He thought with disgust and then pointed his finger at Xander in an indifferent manner while looking at his father. "Oh, that the whelp you adopted?" he asked unconcerned.

"Will …" Rupert gasped.

"Yep, I am," the shaggy haired boy answered. "And it's Xander by the way. Xander. Got it, Billy Idol Wannabe?" The boy got balls. Talking to him like that. Hadn't he realized that he was going to be living in the same house with Spike?

Spike made a mocking face. "Oh, he knows Billy Idol? I'm impressed!"

Xander was about to explode and Spike just grinned.

His father heaved a weary sigh, seeming to have just realized that he had got to take care of two little monsters. ~ Not to worry, Pops. Three months and then I'll be a frat boy. ~

"Boys, please settle down. Will, do please come downstairs and help us with the boxes."

Spike pointed at Xander. "It's his. Why doesn't he take them all to his bloody room by himself?"

"Because I said so! And no swearing!" Rupert yelled at him and that never led to anything good. He got up lazily and followed Pops and the Annoying Brat down the stairs. His eyes widened at the large number of boxes and before he could complain, Rupert gave him the warning look and he shut his gap completely.

Spike helped the two with the boxes and while he was at it, noticed his father was out of sight. He raised his leg in front of Xander who tripped on it and fell to the floor with the box in his hands. Spike grinned and kept walking knowing that the boy was glaring at his back.

Part Two

Xander started filling one of his many closets with clothes. The best thing was that the room was furnished and all he had to do was to fill the shelves with his stuff. His knees still hurt because of the falling. He was still cursing that stupid Will. How dare he make him trip on the floor like that? He was so immature! And to think he was the older one! Hearing footsteps behind him, Xander turned around to find Will standing in the middle of his room, holding one of his CDs. ~ speaking of the Devil! ~ He thought angrily.

Xander stood up grimacing. "Leave that alone!" he ordered the other boy. ~ Of all the nerve! Walking into my room and taking one of my CDs like he'd done nothing! ~

Will raised an eyebrow, and Xander noticed the scar that was on that brow. Will was holding out the CD. "Patsy Cline? Never expected you to listen to Country music." He shook his head in amazement and placed the CD down. "I thought you were a pop nerd, big Britney Spears and N*SYNC geek," Will explained.

Xander gave a disgusted face. "No! Who do you think I am?"

William just shrugged and looked around his room. Xander felt the pain in his knees and hated the way Will acted like he owned the room. He couldn't kick him out. It was his first day living in this house and it *was* actually William's for seventeen years.

Xander shifted from foot to foot. He had to make conversation, he couldn't just stay silent and let William rudely look around the room like he was Xander's superior or something. "Do you like Patsy Cline?" Xander asked. ~ Good question, Xan! ~

Will barked a laugh. "No! I hate that sappy Country trash! I'm a rock n' roll bloke. Rock is the real stuff," the bleached boy pointed out with a nod as if he was the music expert.

"I wasn't into it either," Xander confessed. "But the guy in the music store said that this was the music of pain and I kinda needed that," he whispered sadly as memories of his Dad flashed into his mind. Will didn't seem to notice his distress.

"So who were you listening to before that bloke gave you that 'worthless recommendation'?" Will asked looking at that big glass project Xander did for school with interest.

Xander blushed looking else where. "Uh … pop music?"

"I guessed that, whelp. What I wanna know is who?"

Xander blushed even more but tried to act casual. "The Backstreet Boys," he answered trying to sound as confident as possible. It would have been convincing if his cheeks weren't as red as a tomato.

Will's reaction was just a teasing smirk. The annoying older boy nodded. "Should've guessed that."

Xander glared at him. "Like your choice of music is any better!"

Will looked at him challengingly. "Have you ever heard a song by the Sex Pistols?"

Xander blinked. "Couldn't they find a less disturbing name?"

"I've got all their CDs. You better give them a try." Suddenly, Will looked very excited.

Xander raised his eyebrows. "I think I'll pass." He looked up at the scar on Will's brow. "Where did you get this?"

"Wot?"

"The scar. What happened?"

"Oh, none of your business."

Xander was about to explode. ~ I can't believe him! ~ "I thought we were having a conversation here!"

"Yeah, well, I'm bored with conversation. Just want to examine what other geeky stuff you got," Will said while holding up some comics and action figures.

Xander moved towards Will snatching the magazines but couldn't reach the action figures since the taller boy kept them out of his reach. Xander stood on his toes trying to catch them. "Give them back, Will!" he cried jumping up and trying to reach the action figures.

Will grimaced. "Don't call me that! No one's allowed to call me that except for Pops and teachers!" Will wasn't even making an effort to keep the figures away from him. Being taller than Xander sure had its advantages.

"So, what should I call you? The Immature Bleached Wonder?" Xander gritted out heatedly.

"Name's Spike, kid," Will couldn't sound any prouder.

Xander stopped reaching and just stood there staring at the older boy dumbly, before bursting into a gale of laughter. Will glared at him and lowered the hand he was raising. "Oi, what's so funny?"

Xander looked at him and tried to talk but every time he stopped to compose himself he started off again. Will got annoyed and raised the hand that was holding the figures again. "If you won't bloody stop, I'll throw this crap out the window!" he threatened irritably.

Xander stopped right away but the mocking laughter was still shining in his big brown eyes. "It's just … Spike? Couldn't you find a cooler name? Not that I think that 'Spike' is a cool name or anything."

"What's wrong with Spike?" Will sounded offended.

"It's a doggy name," Xander explained as innocently as possible.

"Oi, it's not! And if you say that again I'll …"

~ That's it! He lowered his hand! ~ Xander thought as he reached out and grabbed his action figures away from Giles Jr.

'Spike' stared at him with astonishment. Xander gave a victory grin. "You'll do what?" he challenged the older boy.

Spike glared. "Alright," he muttered, as he reached with his hand towards Xander's glass project and pushed it off the table. It fell down and crashed to the floor causing little pieces of glass to fly around. Both boys avoided being hit by the shattered glass. Xander stared at his broken project on the floor with wide eyes. He turned to Spike and smacked him on the stomach very hard. "Why the hell did you do that?!" he screamed furiously.

"You deserved it!" Spike yelled punching Xander on the face.

The pain was unbearable. Xander's focus was so wholly on the pain from the punch, that he didn't notice that he had dropped on the floor until few seconds later. He was thankful that he hadn't fallen on the shattered glass. He was beyond rage. How dare that stupid punk beat him like that in his own room after breaking *his* project? That was rude!

Xander looked up glaring at Spike with eyes full of fury and anguish. "How could you?! I did this project with my Dad two years ago!!" he was yelling harshly and Spike just raised an eyebrow.

"So wot? Gonna cry now?"

Xander tried all he could to keep the tears of frustration from falling. No success. Rich drops of tears fell on his cheeks making Spike smirk widely. How could Spike be this cruel? This insensitive? He just punched him hard in the face and ruined a memory he had with his Dad and he was acting like it DIDN'T MATTER? Like he hadn't done a thing? Wasn't he afraid that Xander might tell Mr. Giles about that?

"So, you gonna tell Pops about this?" Spike asked as if he read his mind. "Thought you were a big boy when you didn't tell him bout me tripping you earlier."

Spike acted naturally, like he was certain that Xander wasn't going to tell Mr. Giles. And he was right. Xander couldn't tell Mr. Giles about this. He noticed how the man was worn out from their fighting earlier and he wouldn't have him regretting taking Xander on as another son. It was Xander's first day living here anyway. He didn't want to cause trouble for the man who took him into his care.

What bugged him so much was that knowing smirk on Spike's features. He hated him! Spike was treating him so badly and was totally unconcerned that he just lost his Dad a week ago.

"Get out!" Xander snapped with a sob. Spike just shook his head and the annoying smirk was still in place. He walked so slowly towards the door attempting to drive Xander mad. And God it did.

The second Spike closed the door behind him; Xander released a low whimper of pain. He looked at his broken project and wept madly. He just lost his father, damn it! Wasn't that enough?! Now he had to deal with Mr. Giles' juvenile son?! That was unfair! It was beyond him the way Spike treated him! Maybe he really deserved the doggy name, 'cause he's such a dog!

The boy looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. The area around his left eye was swollen and he couldn't let Mr. Giles see it. He was sure tomorrow the bruise would have a very nice color. He heaved a sigh before beginning to collect the shattered glass.

That night, Giles happily climbed up towards Xander's room. It was dinnertime and he was thrilled to eat with someone else at the table. William always preferred eating in his room in front of the TV or outside with his friends. The last time they ate together in the kitchen was when William used to be in intermediate school. After that, the boy just wanted to be left alone and be separated from him. Something about 'cool' fellows don't spend their time with their daddies and mummies. Giles respected his son's wishes and left him to do whatever he pleased, thinking it was the right thing to do.

Ethan Harris, ~ May he rest in peace, ~ Giles thought melancholy, always disapproved of his way of raising his son. He used to say that what Giles was doing was spoiling William, but Giles wouldn't listen to his friend. However, Giles always noted how Xander was better than William. He was polite and respected his father which was something William, sadly, lacked.

Giles stopped by Xander's door and knocked. "Dinner is served, Xander. Would you like to come downstairs and eat?"

"Thanks, Mr. G, but I'm not that hungry!" came Xander's reply, which was not the answer Giles had expected. The librarian frowned, that was unlikely strange. He always joked with Ethan about Xander's appetite when it came to food. He was considering going in and seeing what was troubling the boy but just asked instead, "Are you alright, Xander?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just wanna sleep, big day with the moving in. You go and eat. I'll be fine!"

"Alright then," Giles replied softly and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Alone.

Part Three

Next day, Xander sat on the stairs to the school entrance waiting for Jesse. He wanted to go to school early before Mr. Giles noticed him and offered to take him there. He didn't want the man to see the lovely purple color around his left eye. No success though. Mr. Giles caught him and he had to lie. He told him that he hit himself with a baseball bat yesterday and didn't want to bother him. Nonetheless, Mr. Giles wasn't convinced and Xander knew the man was thinking that Spike had something to do with it, but his guardian didn't question him. Something that Xander had appreciated.

"Hey, Xan-man!"

He heard Jesse calling him. As he turned, Xander observed the way the blond boy flinched. His friend's cheerful eyes turned into worried ones. Jesse sat beside him looking at his injured eye all fretful. "What happened, Xan?"

Xander shrugged. "Nothing, just fell."

"You fell straight on your left eye?" Jesse asked with a raised brow.

"Yes! I did!" Xander retorted with irritation.

Jesse looked at him in a disapproving silence. Xander figured what his friend was thinking. It was something about Xander shouldn't hide anything from him. They were best buds. And Xander knew that his friend didn't believe his answer.

He sighed. "Can we talk about something else please?"

"Alright," Jesse muttered seeming to not like 'avoidy-Xander'. "So how's the new home?"

"It was huge, Jess! My room is even bigger than both my old house and yours!" Xander had never been so excited in his life. He liked the way Jesse's eyes lightened with the same excitement as his.

"Cool!" Jesse exclaimed. "So, we're hanging at your place after school!"

Xander nodded fast, glad that his friend stopped asking him about his eye.

Spike sat with his mates, Oz, Devon and Parker in the high school yard. They were discussing their list of songs for tonight's playing at the Bronze. Being the most popular band in school, they had to choose carefully. Devon Carter was tall, blond, handsome, always showing his belly and slightly dense. He was yapping about the right song that would match the tone of his 'astonishing' voice, and was sure that he would return home with a fine bird. The lad was all talk. Spike knew he only shagged Faith, the whore of the school, who almost shagged every boy in the campus.

Parker Abrams was also tall, and not to forget a thin, dark headed trouble maker. He was their leader; he taught Spike how to smoke and how to ride a motorcycle. Parker shagged almost all the chits of the Sunnydale high. ~ He would have one every night, ~ Spike thought dryly. Parker was the drummer of their little band. He was also the bloke you go for if you wanna get down. Spike could remember the many occasions he and Parker had sneaked into stripper clubs.

Daniel Osborn, or Oz, on the other hand, was the shortest, quietest, calmest boy of them all. He never spoke two sentences at a time. Oz was the guitarist of their group. Also, he had a steady girlfriend, Tara. She was a beautiful blond girl with the shyest smile ever. Spike thought that no one could blush as deep as her. Personally, Spike liked Oz the best even though he was very calm and silent and Spike was nothing like that. But there was something about Oz that says he's a bloke you could depend on in the toughest times, which was something he failed to find with Parker and Devon.

Spike lit his cigarette and listened to Devon's prattle. He smirked when Parker smoothly shushed him down with one of his witty remarks. Sometimes, Devon's ego would get too annoying for Spike's benefit. Spike was also a singer in their little group. He played the guitar, which was why he didn't get to be in the center of the stage. Because if he took the lead, what would Devon do? Prattle-boy was not good with musical instruments. The only thing he was good at was singing. But if Devon wouldn't learn to use any instrument soon, he would be kicked out of the band. They wouldn't lose a thing since Spike knew how to sing.

Parker chuckled after he shut Devon up and turned towards Spike and Oz. "Anyway, kiddos, tonight's party at Harmony Jones', her parents left to visit whomever relative they had somewhere in California. So … after our gig, we'll have us a real good time, well, except for Oz since his goody gal couldn't stay up on a school night." He eyed the spiky headed boy with sympathy. "Unless you wanted to cheat on her with a better looking girl," his brow rose as he suggested it.

Oz smiled and shook his head.

"Oh c'mon, she won't figure it out," Parker tried to convince him.

"Sorry man," Oz apologized. "I'm actually not going there. Figured I'd do some studying tonight, helps getting into college."

"Oh man you disgust me!" Devon cried out with a screwed up face.

Spike blew away smoke and held his cigarette away from his face. "Oh shut up, Blather Boy, 't least he got a bird, which I can't say 'bout you," he said with a smirk.

"Oh really?" Devon scoffed. "What about you Mr. I-Shagged-Every-Chit-In-Britain, is that what you really did? Or were you just hiding your little fag ass at a gay club?"

Spike growled and would have kicked the shit out of the other boy if it wasn't for Oz who held him in place.

Parker shook his head. "Guys, chill, you're just stressed out coz you haven't been laid in months." He turned towards Spike, "Don't worry, English, we all know how Harmony likes you. I'm sure you'll have some tonight."

Spike's lips twisted in disgust. "I hate that bint. Don't want anything to do with her."

"Is that it or is it for the fact that she doesn't have a penis?" Devon muttered.

Spike growled again and was about to head towards the taller boy but Oz kept his hold of him firm. "I'll have you know that I shagged older women in Briton and English girls are better in bed than stupid yanks!" Spike snapped at Devon who waved him off and left.

Parker's eyes shone with pleasure at the information and he wished for some 'English chicks' at their school. He believed Spike because he was as bad as him. They both smoked and listened to Sex Pistols. Of course Spike had done it before! He turned and went looking for his new striking bitch, Kennedy.

Spike cursed and jerked away from Oz's grip. Devon was right. He was a virgin. He'd never shagged anyone before. It wasn't like he never had luck getting a girl to sleep with him. All girls liked him. The problem was little Spike. He didn't seem to enjoy the blessings of a naked girl.

Oz batted his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, man. I'm sure tonight will be it." Spike smiled at his best mate. The only one whom he'd told about his dilemma was Oz. He knew he wouldn't mock him or make less of his manhood.

"Wow!" Jesse exclaimed as he and Xander got out of the kitchen into the lobby.

"I know!" Xander agreed with him. They discovered every single room downstairs. Xander didn't have time to do it yesterday after the Spike fiasco. He even slept hungry so Mr. Giles wouldn't see his bruised face. Now that they finished with downstairs, it was time to head upstairs.

The front door opened. Xander turned excitedly thinking that it was Mr. Giles and lunch would be served. Unfortunately, it was Spike. Xander's smile faded and he turned away. Jesse noticed and eyed Spike wearily.

"Well, well," Spike's annoying voice dropped on Xander's ear like a bullet. "Look what we have here. Droopy Boy and Droopy Boy Two."

"Get lost, Spike." Xander hissed angrily, trying to hide his face.

Spike grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. He gazed at his face. "Well, you look like shit."

Xander jerked away. "Oh, really?!" he couldn't help but yell.

Spike wasn't bothered. "Hope you hadn't told daddy dearest …"

"You did that to him?" Jesse shouted angrily at the older boy.

Spike gave an amused grin. "Well, look at that, sticking up for your little friend, eh? Being all manly I see?"

Jesse scowled. "How dare you hurt him like that?"

"Jess, let it go," Xander spoke tiredly.

Jesse looked at him in disbelief. "But …"

"Be a bigger person, buddy. You're more mature than him."

Spike grimaced. "Hey, who are you calling immature you son of a …!"

Spike immediately stopped when they heard the front door open. They watched as Mr. Giles came in. The older man looked at the situation in front of him. "Is everything alright?" he asked blinking.

Xander and Spike grinned and answered together. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Mr. Giles just raised an eyebrow then looked at Spike. "Uh … William, could we talk privately please?" He inclined his head towards the living room and Spike just nodded. "Yeah, sure Pops."

The punk looking boy went straight ahead to the living room and Mr. Giles smiled at Jesse, "Good afternoon, Jesse."

"You too, Mr. G!" Jesse replied.

Mr. Giles nodded and then followed Spike.

"Why did you hit him, Will?" his father's voice was firm and he had a hard look in his eyes.

Spike looked bored. "I dunno what you're talking 'bout."

Irritation filled Rupert's eyes. "That big bruise in his eye area, I am certain it was your deed!" Now his father's voice was getting louder.

"And why is that?" Spike retorted.

"Because I know you!"

Spike stared at his old man for a minute. "No, you don't," he muttered so low that his father didn't catch it.

"I beg you pardon?" Pops was blinking now.

The boy shook his head and looked away. "Nothing, nothing important."

The hard look returned to his father's eyes again. "Listen to me carefully, young man. If you hurt a single hair on that boy's head again you won't be pleased with what I'm going to do with you."

Spike's head shot up. "Why do you care about him so much?" he yelled.

"Because he's the son of my closest friend, and I promised Ethan that I would take good care of him."

Spike was angry. No, he was beyond rage. His father was willing to protect and care for a strange boy while he never asked about him. All what Rupert cared about were his grades. Never asked about his friends, never asked about his band, never asked if his football team had won or not and never even cared if he came home late. That didn't mean that Rupert was neglecting him. Sometimes Pops could be such a pain in the arse whenever he started to talk about valuable books, the importance of education or criticizing Spike's friends. Not like his father actually knew them well. He never thought about getting to know his son's chums.

It was not like Spike wanted him to supervise every single thing in his life. His father made quite an effort to make sure he got the best grades for a fine college. Pops wanted him to befriend the school geeks, because they were his chance to attend the best university. Whenever Spike got a bad grade, his father would blame it on his friends. He would go like; 'they're not good for you' and 'they're the reason why you're in big trouble', which would lead Spike to get grounded. Although his father was never that careful about his punishments, he would forget that he punished Spike the next day, therefore, the blond would be free as a bird.

It was not like he wanted his Pops to ground him for being late. The blond didn't want his father to ground him at all. He just wanted him to be cool. He wanted him to be someone he would like to spend time with, someone fun. Wanted him to be like his friends' fathers. Oz's father always listened to him playing with the guitar. Devon's father always watched soccer games with him. Parker's father got the Playboy channel for his son and watched it with him. So why couldn't Rupert Giles be interested in stuff he liked?

"Are you paying attention, young man?"

Spike looked at his father.

"Never touch him," Rupert warned.

The boy huffed and headed towards the door before his father's firm hand held his arm stopping him. He turned towards the old man. "Let me go," he hissed.

"Give me an answer and I'll let you go."

"Okay I'll leave him alone, happy?"

The moment his arm was free, Spike hurried out. He found the two losers sitting on the stairs. He eyed Xander coldly then went up the steps. He could hear their voices downstairs.

"Hey, Mr. G, we're starving."

"Oh, then I'm off to make lunch. Would you two like to give me a hand?"

"Sure!" came two excited voices.

Spike cursed. That bloody perfect boy! He was sure his Pops was all fluffy inside.

Part Four

A heavy sigh escaped Spike's lips as he sat under a tree in the school yard. Pops was furious with him. Two days after Spike's promise that he would never touch Xander, well, he couldn't help but lock the annoying brat in the basement, not forgetting to lock the windows of course. Otherwise the kid would have gotten away. Spike was supposed to get him out before his Pops came back, but as usual, things never went good with him.

Spike still didn't know why he did that. Was it what Oz said? That he was very angry that he didn't score at Harmony's party and had to put up with Devon's prattle about the possibility of him being a poof. Therefore, he lashed it out on the boy whom he was supposed to be treating like his younger brother? That made sense. But would his father accept that? Big fat NO! His father never even asked him why he did that. He just yelled at Spike and grounded him. The blond boy was not allowed to leave the house except for school. He was not allowed to call his mates, or have them calling him. And every afternoon, he was supposed to water his father's plants in the garden. For a whole month.

~ Like I'm gonna stay at home for a whole month! ~ That was his first thought when Rupert chose his punishment.

Whenever Pops grounded him, Spike would escape in the middle of the night. And after two days, if Spike was careful, Rupert would forget that he actually grounded him. And then, everything would return to normal.

But now things changed. With the bothersome whelp living with them, he would always remind Rupert of Spike's punishment. And yes!! Spike did stay home for one whole month! Thank you very much!! ~ God, I hate that kid! ~ Spike thought fuming.

Now, to the other problem. What the bleeding hell was wrong with him? At Harmony's party, Anya Jenkins, one of the finest birds on the campus, was all over him and he couldn't get it up. Of course that was what Devon needed to start his Spike-is-gay shit.

He was not gay! He just didn't meet the right girl yet. Ok, that sounded gay. Spike sighed.

"Yo, Spike!" Parker called his name as he ran towards him. The brunet boy dropped next to him and lit a cigarette.

"You got another one?" Spike asked. He sure needed to smoke right now.

Parker shook his head. "Sorry, man. But hey, I have something better." His hand searched in his pocket and then he pulled out something resembling a cigarette, but was thinner and a bit longer.

Spike stared at it for a minute then his eyes widened. "Bloody hell, is that drugs?"

"Shhhh," Parker shushed him irritably. "You want us to get caught!"

"Us? It's just you, mate. I don't want nothin' to do with drugs!" He was about to get up, but Parker pulled him back down.

"Hey, it's okay, I've been having this stuff for a week," the brunet said it like it was okay.

"A week?" Spike exclaimed. "When? I've never seen you have one."

"Where's your brain, English? I'd never use them out in the day. Do you want me to get caught?" Parker scoffed, and then told his story, "A week before, a friend of Dad's had one and gave it to me," Parker explained simply putting the object in his pocket.

"He just gave it to you?" Spike exclaimed with disapprobation.

"Yeah," Parker replied thoughtfully. "Maybe coz I'm already 18, you know, adult at last." There was a childish gleam in Parker's eye that Spike rarely saw. Whenever the subject about adulthood was mentioned, the brunet would get excited and never shut up about the possibilities an adult could do. That would involve booze and girls, you know, Parker's only interests.

"Anyway," his friend went on. "I liked it so much and bought a bunch from him."

"And your Pops doesn't know about it?"

"He knows, he just doesn't care." He grinned. "That's the beauty of careless parents. They just let you have what you want. But even if he said something, I'll just say I'm 18, I can do whatever I want." He chuckled happily and laid down to enjoy his smoke.

Spike stared at Parker for a while. His friend's life saddened him. As much as the bleached boy wanted Rupert Giles to leave him alone sometimes, he would never wish his life to be like Parker's. The brunet's parents got divorced when he could barely walk. He ended up with his father, while his mother never wanted shit from him. Parker's dad was an awful drunk. He never cared about his kid. All he cared about was watching stripper women while drinking Vodka. Parker eventually turned out like his father. Spike never minded Parker's father. He was cool, always rode motorcycles with them and let them watch the Playboy channel.

But drugs were a serious subject. Maybe Spike was not the good boy type, but he knew that drugs equaled wrong in a big way. Spike exhaled watching his friend lying there and smoking with a dreamy look on his face. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "Do Oz and Devon know about this?"

Parker shrugged. "Your old man won't let me talk to you whenever I call. Something about me being a bad influence and other stuff that I didn't really hear. Anyway, you were in detention. Devon is a chicken, he'd freak out right away and I don't want to see that. And I never see Oz of late, probably with his goodie-good girlfriend." His dark-headed mate sneered at the mention of Tara. Parker never liked her. Spike always thought it was because she wouldn't let Parker shag her.

"Anyhow," Parker said. "I know they won't approve or go for it. So I didn't bother telling them."

"Wait a minute," Spike suddenly exclaimed. "You told me! You think I'd use that stuff?" he couldn't sound more slighted.

"Why not? We both drank what was left of Dad's Whisky when we found it in the bathroom."

"That's a different story and we only wanted to see what it tasted like."

Parker scoffed. "We had lots of drinks after that. Remember when we sneaked to the frat house and got totally drunk?" How could Spike forget that night? They both ended up naked and licking gums in third street's dumpster. That was one of the times his father grounded him for three months. The grounding lasted four days only.

"But you don't get addicted to booze, Parker. Drugs, you do!"

Parker pouted. "But it makes me feel so good." He frowned, looking confused at Spike. "What's gotten into you anyway? You were more fun before. I guess it's because of spending too much time at home."

Spike shook his head raising his hands in a surrender gesture. "I don't need this shit right now." He got up and was about to leave.

"Spike!"

The blond boy turned around looking bored at the brunet with the cigarette. "If you change your mind, you'll find me home alright? I'm not going anywhere."

Spike stared at him for a second before leaving.

Spike huffed angrily as he came home. Today was shit. He met up with Devon and his new chit making with the smooches in the school's hole. The ponce just couldn't hold the gay insult in. It was when Spike noticed Anya near her locker and ran to her. At first she refused to have anything to do with him after Harmony's party's disaster, but she gave in eventually. Well, no one could resist him.

~ What did it do to me anyway? ~ He scowled to himself. Again he failed to have an erection. Even though Anya did the most erotic things to him, it still didn't work. What was wrong with his bloody cock? When a beautiful bird sucked and bit your tit, your cock should erect a mile. But it seemed that his was meant to be for the undead. Anya got all humiliated and started blaming him for making her doubt her talent and sex appeal. Then she left him standing naked and confused.

'Maybe it was Anya.' Was what Oz said. But Spike doubted it. Anya wasn't the only one he didn't get hard for. All the girls before her didn't seem to satisfy his bloody cock. ~ I'm not a poof! I'm not!! ~

The laughing snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned around and spotted his father and Xander laughing out loud in the kitchen. He walked over there and stood by the door. They were obviously laughing about something his father said. ~ Never knew Pops could pull a joke, ~ he thought amused.

"So, what's with the cackling?" he asked bored watching the two notice him. Xander immediately stopped giggling and had a little smirk that looked adorable on his boyish face. Spike frowned. ~ Why is the little brat smirking? I'm not liking this. ~

Rupert was still chuckling and obviously wanted to stop. After a few brief seconds his father succeeded in composing himself. He looked at Spike with laughter shining in his eyes. "It's nothing really. We were just talking about the entertainment that we're going to include for Xander's 13th birthday party next week."

Spike raised a scared eye brow at Xander. "Well, what do ya know, sprout's gonna be 13? Thought he was 10 or somthin'."

Xander glared. "I lived in this house for more than a month and you still don't know how old I am?"

Spike shrugged. "Didn't really care. Just judged by the way you look." He smirked at Xander's fuming face and then turned to Rupert. "By the way, why discussing the birthday party with the whelp? Thought kids liked surprise parties."

Rupert was about to answer, but Xander spoke first. "First, I'm not a kid. Second, I want to be involved with whatever plans Giles was having for the party."

Spike had an evil grin on his face. "Now you're spending Pops' money for your own pleasure? Already took the role of his son I see?"

"William," His father warned.

A flash of hurt crossed Xander's face but was immediately covered with anger. "For your information, I offered to pay for the party myself with Dad's money …"

"No," Rupert interrupted looking firmly at Xander. "Your father's money is for you when you come of age. Now I'm your guardian and I pay for whatever you want …"

He was cut off by the phone ringing. Rupert sighed and headed to answer it, throwing an angry glance at Spike on his way out. The blond was glad the phone interrupted his father's pep talk. He was not in the mood for a Rupert/Xander dramatic family scene. He turned to look at Xander, who had that maddening smirk on his face again. "What is it, whelp? If you have something to say just say it?"

"Well, I heard the most amusing thing at school today." Xander's annoying smirk got bigger. "There's a rumor going around about a high school band, Dingoes Ate My Baby. So I thought, isn't that Spike's band? It turned out that one of the members is kinda … um how should I put it? Gay."

Heart pounding, Spike stared at the source of his annoyance, trying hard not to show emotions. "What are you getting at?"

Xander looked smug. "I heard that it can't be Oz since he's dating a girl named Tara. Not Devon too, coz he's also dating now. And the girls never shut up about Parker's skills in bed. So who's left? Let's just say I wasn't that shocked, dear big brother."

Spike's lips trembled with rage. This was too much. Parker was using drugs. He could not perform with girls and had that accident with Anya today. He knew there was something wrong with him. The thought of being a fag scared him and he hated the reminder. Like Devon wasn't enough. Now this little fool was making fun of him!

Fuming with anger, Spike stalked towards Xander, who giggled and was about to run around the kitchen's table, but Spike got there faster and pushed it violently blocking Xander's way. The brat froze looking at him startled. Spike grabbed him and threw him into the wall and watched as the back of Xander's head hit hard. The young boy fell and looked like he was seeing stars.

Spike took a big spoon and started beating Xander's tender skin. ~ That bloody brat! How could he? How COULD he?!! ~ His mind screamed with fury, while he was striking the other boy with the spoon. Xander was curling into a ball, his face hid between his knees and hands. He was hissing painfully with every blow.

Spike was blinded with anger and only saw Xander in front of him. He wanted the kid to hurt and bleed. Maybe bleed to death. How could he say that shit about him? Spike was NOT a poof!

Suddenly, his hand was grabbed and the spoon was taken from him. He was pushed backwards and was about to fall down but he stopped himself. He didn't know what happened and didn't care. His eyes were on the shivering boy on the floor and he wanted to beat more shit out of him. He moved towards the kid but was stopped. He tried to push the person that stood between him and the fucking boy. The person raised his chin and he was looking at his father's heated eyes.

Spike very soon realized that Rupert was yelling at him for a long time. He just didn't seem to listen to what his Pops was saying. His mind was rambling about teaching Xander a lesson for calling Spike 'gay'.

Rupert shoved him outside the kitchen and was yelling furiously. Spike awkwardly stumbled into the main lobby while his father walked after him. He turned around and looked directly at the grim face.

"What in God's name were you doing back there?!" Rupert spat out.

"He was saying some shit 'bout me!" Spike growled wrathfully.

Rupert raised his finger in a 'shut up' gesture. "I thought I told you to never speak such words in this house, young man." He sighed and lowered his hand. "And whatever Xander told you, I'm sure he was just teasing you."

Spike huffed. "Oh it bloody didn't feel like it!"

Rupert sighed again. Spike was glad that he didn't disapprove of his usage of those words again, because he was too angry to watch his words. "What did he say?" his father asked instead.

"He said …" Spike stopped. He wasn't sure what his father would say about that rumor. "Nothing," he finished looking away.

His father rubbed his forehead in exhaustion. "Look William, I warned you before. Do not come near that boy again …"

"Why are you always sticking up for him?!" Spike screamed thinking he would faint. It was very obvious that he was having a problem, yet his father acted like he cared more about that … that …

"He's just an annoying little piece of shit!!!"

"William Giles!" Rupert howled. "Stop coursing around, and God never mention that to him! He just lost his father."

"Well, I lost mum, too. Don't I deserve a little compassion?" Spike knew he sounded childish but really didn't care. ~ And what's with the he-just-lost-his-father shit? It's been nearly two months. The kid should just get over it! ~

"Yeah, but you have me. He doesn't have anyone but us," his father reasoned. He knelt forwards to whisper the next words. "His mum doesn't want anything to do with him."

"Why should she?! He's a bastard!"

Slap.

Spike's hand touched his cheek while he stared at his father in shock. "You smacked me for him?" he whispered in disbelief. His eyes burnt with angry fire. "Fuck you, Rupert!" he shouted and then ran outside the house.

Giles heaved a tired sigh. What had he ever done to deserve this wearisome child? Why couldn't he be more like Xander? Remembering the younger boy, Giles raced towards the kitchen.

Xander was hugging his knees to his chest, looking slightly shaky. There were bruises on his arms, Giles figured there were more but covered under Xander's clothes. The boy raised his eyes to him. They were wide and full of fright and shock. The man knew that Xander had heard what William said. Giles walked towards the boy and soothingly pulled him into a warm embrace. "Are you hurt?"

"A little. Mr. Giles?" Xander asked in a frightened whisper.

Giles felt unease. Before, Xander used to call him Mr. G. Now that it got formal between them, Xander simply started calling him Giles. But Mr. Giles? Things must have gone pretty wrong for the boy now. "Yes?" he said to Xander.

"What Spike said … is it true?" the last words came wavering.

"No," Giles shook his head quickly. "It wasn't true, Xander. William was just angry. That's all," he lied, but he knew it was for the best. He hoped Xander believed it.

Part Five

Xander didn't believe Giles. He knew deep in his heart that Spike was telling the truth about him. Xander was a mistake. A thing his parents didn't want to have. Something inside him began to squeeze his heart so hard that it hurt. Was that why his mother was keeping her distance from him? Was it why she never came to visit? Was it why she never sent him a gift for his birthday? Was it why she hadn't been there for his father's funeral or asked about how he was?

Many questions with no answers. Xander always acted like he never cared about his mom's neglect, but inside he was dying. He quit asking about his mother when he was seven. Because every time he mentioned her, his dad would get upset and call Aunt Joyce to do the mother duty his dad couldn't.

There was a twist in his heart at the thought of his father being forced to raise him all these years. Did Ethan Harris really love him?

Xander glowered. ~ Of course Dad loved me! Stop with the crazy thinking! ~

The phone's ringing startled him. He stared at it for a moment before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Uh … is Mr. Giles present?"

"No, he's out. Can I have your name?"

"Why of course, I'm his cousin Edward Giles."

"Okay, I'll give it to him as soon as he comes back."

"Thank you."

Xander put the phone down and then stared at the clock. It had been several hours since Mr. G was out. After Xander's drama scene in the kitchen, Giles bandaged his wounds and then they went to the living room to watch TV. Giles put on the Cartoon Network channel for Xander's sake. The boy couldn't help but think anguishing thoughts. He also wanted to turn off the TV because the loud sound annoyed him. He considered going to his room, but he didn't want Giles to worry. After a few hours, the phone rang and Giles picked it up. His guardian sounded very concerned and shocked at the news he received from the person on the phone.

When he placed down the phone, he jumped towards the door and left without saying a word to Xander. The boy was too wrapped up with his dilemma to ask what it was that scared his guardian so much to run this fast out of the house. Xander felt guilty for not asking, but hoped whatever it was, that it wasn't that bad.

Suddenly, he heard the main door in the lobby crack open.

"Get in there you bloody brat!!" He heard Giles yell.

Xander's eyes widened with surprise. It was the first time he heard his guardian curse. He ran towards the lobby door. What he saw made him freeze with shock. There was Spike and he was totally out of it. His eyes looked funny and he couldn't stand straight. The sight was very scary.

"Xander," Hearing Giles call him name, Xander turned towards the angry man. "Go to your room, now."

Xander nodded and went to the stairs, his eyes not leaving Spike. The young boy's mind was racing. What the hell did Spike do to look like this? Was he drinking? Or was it …?

Once he was out of sight, he heard Giles yell at his son. "Drugs, Will? Drugs?!!"

Xander gasped quietly. ~ Drugs? God, this is huge! ~ He heard Spike yell back at his father, but Xander thought it was rude to listen to the conversation. He closed his room's door behind him and let his thoughts flow.

Spike was beginning to focus a little. The colors were still brighter than usual, but his focus was getting back. Bloody hell, Parker was right! Spike did experience unnaturally intense feelings of pleasure. It was bloody marvelous after all the downs he'd had this morning.

He started pouting. That pleasure he felt was starting to go away. He wanted to have more of that stuff but Parker's ol' man said that it would kill him. Especially since it was his first time. To Spike, Parker's father was dense, he should have let him take more because this stuff was beginning to fade. ~ And you know who else is dense? That fucking Devon, who chose that time to drop by to watch the Playboy channel! The pounce ratted us out to the police! ~ Spike thought irritably.

"What did I ever do to you to deserve this?!" Rupert's shout was annoyingly ringing in his ear.

He clumsily turned around, looking for his father. ~ Where the hell is he? ~ He wondered looking around the very bright room.

He felt hands grab his shoulders and then his eyes met his father's unclear face. "This is the most foolish, immature thing you've ever done, boy!"

"Bla, bla, bla, don't you know how to shut up?!" Spike yelled. The loss of the pleasure was starting to get on his nerves. He wanted to break something. He had an urge to hit his father whose grip was hurting him. Rupert must have noticed that because his grip began to loose. Once he did, Spike began to sway a little but he was still standing.

"How many times have I warned you not to accompany that boy," Rupert went on angrily. "Look what it did to you! Drugs, jail, what would that do to your reputation?"

While he and Xander were watching television, Rupert Giles received a phone call from the police earlier at evening. They informed him of his son being in jail because of drug use. Stunned at what he heard, Giles ran to his car, forgetting to wear his jacket, and drove towards the station. Over there the police told him that they got a report from a 17 year old boy, Devon Carter, who told them that the Abrams' residence had drug users. Once they got there, the police found two middle aged adults, one 18 year old boy and a minor, looking very high.

Giles insisted they let William go, seeing that he was a minor. The police told him that he could pay for his son's release, if he got him a counselor to work on his son's problems. Giles agreed wholeheartedly. The police told him that he could pay for the other boy, but Giles wasn't going to. He knew that young Mr. Abrams was the one who gave William the drugs. The doctors, who treated the users, informed Giles that it was William's first time and the effect would fade soon. William may not have major side effects but he would be more angry and frustrated.

Giles was going to lay new rules on his son. There would be no going outside the house, except for school, until William got in college.

The man watched his son scoff. "What reputation? I don't give a shit 'bout reputation!" The boy looked crossly at him "Why didn't you get Parker and his Pops out?!"

"Because I don't want such a boy to be able to contact you under any circumstances!" he answered firmly.

Spike's bloodshot eyes widened dangerously. "Who do you think you are?" he spat impolitely.

"I believe I'm your father," Giles spoke dryly.

"Bullshit!" Spike snarled. "If you call yourself a father, then tell me, what's the name of my band?"

"What? I don't know what's the name of your …"

"That's what I'm talking about! A normal father would have known that. I bet you didn't even know that I was actually in a band."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You never ask about me or …"

"I ask about you …"

"You only ask about my grades!" Spike yelled. He was getting frustrated from the loss of the pervious happiness. The only thing that would make it better was to yell. Get it out, whatever 'it' meant. "The only time you annoy the shit out of me is if it was school related stuff! Other than that you just don't give a bleedin' shit!"

Giles' eyes narrowed dangerously. "How dare you say that about me? I care a great deal about you!" How could this boy even think the opposite?

"As much as Xander? I don't think so!" Spike was beginning to get sober. He knew it because he was just realizing what he was saying. He never spoke his feelings about his father out loud. Not to anyone and especially not to Rupert.

~ Xander? ~ Giles thought confused. "What does Xander have to do with this?"

"You give him all your attention …" Spike snapped.

"I thought you didn't want my attention!" Giles snapped back angrily.

"I do!" Spike shouted very loudly. He could see the shocked expression on his father's face and Spike knew why. There were tears sliding down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He was feeling both tired and aggravated. He wanted to release whatever he kept inside. Wanted to yell it very loud for everyone to hear. That way they would notice him. Notice that he needed help and, therefore, help him.

"I do," he whispered brokenly. "I go through a very tough time and my old man doesn't care to notice." His voice began to rise. "I mean, everything is so fucked up. School's 'bout to end and I'm the only senior in Sunnydale high who hasn't had his first shag yet!"

Spike ignored his father's embarrassed cough and went on. "I couldn't get off, not even with a very naked girl in front of me and rumors have been going around at school about the chance that I might be attracted to the same gender. And guess who told me this piece of news? Your precious little Xander! Oh, and in a very nice way indeed! And all you seemed to care about was his well being and didn't ask what bothered me and the only way I found my peace was DRUGS!"

Spike broke down and dropped on the floor. That rambling did make him feel a little better. He just realized his jealousy towards Xander. He always thought that his father's neglect was the only thing that bothered him. But watching Rupert and Xander bond like his friends and their fathers, he couldn't help but think that it should have been him.

Giles looked at his own son, on the floor shaking and crying. The librarian's heart was twisting painfully that all his rage drifted away. He approached the weeping boy and wrapped his arms around him. William pushed him away and stood quickly. A flash of hurt crossed Giles' face, but then switched into anger.

"You can't blame this on me, young man!" he said with gritted teeth. "It was you who put that distance between us! You are the one who said that 'cool' children shouldn't spend time with their parents! You were the one to say 'no' whenever I call you to have breakfast, lunch or dinner with me! You are the one who won't talk to me about his day at school …"

"When did you ask …?"

"I did! Don't you ever say that I didn't! I did ask you for years and you always grumble and head straight to your room! Eventually, I gave up thinking that this was what you wanted!"

The father and son stared at each other for a moment. Each of them realizing their mistakes. Eventually Giles went to his son and hugged him close to his chest, close to his heart and let his tears slip.

Spike laid his head on his father's chest and just stood there, listening to his father repeating on and on, "I love you."

Part Six

Weeks later, Xander noticed the changes in Spike. He wasn't complaining about being grounded like he did the last time. He was actually spending most of his time in his room. He didn't even come down for Xander's party last week. And when Xander glanced through the door lock, he saw the blond at his desk studying. Whenever Xander glanced inside Spike's room before, he would find him listening to his headphones or on the net, watching porn pictures obviously. Well, the final exams were approaching anyway and Spike had to work hard if he wanted to be accepted into a good college.

Spike's chance of getting into East Anglia University was very good according to Edward Giles, Rupert Giles' cousin. That phone call that Xander answered in the doomed day was Edward's reassurance to his older brother that his nephew was going to be accepted in East Anglia University.

Spike would go for literature because he liked poetry, ~ what a shock! ~ Actually punk boy had written a lot of lyrics for his band, before it fell apart.

Xander also noticed some changes in Giles as well. His guardian was very broody lately, probably thinking that what happened to Spike was his fault. Giles would go into Spike's room every few hours with food or snacks, so he could concentrate more on his studying. It appeared that Giles was trying all he could to let Spike know that he cared for him.

Xander didn't ask about what happened that night when Spike and Giles had that fight about Spike using drugs. He also didn't ask when Giles got a counselor for Spike. He knew what that counselor was here for. He once heard him say to Giles that one of the reasons his son went to drugs was the lack of adult support or supervision, but Xander didn't stick around too long to hear the rest. It wasn't his business anyway.

Right now, Xander was standing in front of Spike's room. For the last two weeks, Xander could not help but think about what Spike said. The bit about him being a mistake. The brunet boy guessed that Spike knew more about his parents than he did. He waited enough for Spike to pull himself together after the drugs incident, now it was time for answers.

The boy knocked on the door. He heard Spike's irritated voice answer. "Stop it with the chow, Pops. I'm entirely full."

"It's Xander."

There was a pause.

"C'mon in," came Spike's voice.

Xander opened the door a little and peered inside. Spike, looking all punk like usual, was settling in front of his desk reading a text book. Xander pushed the door open and let himself inside. He closed the door behind him and walked towards the older boy. He stood next to Spike, who didn't seem to acknowledge him. It annoyed the younger boy a bit, but he pushed the feeling aside.

"Spike? Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," the bleached boy simply answered. His eyes still on the text book.

Xander shifted from foot to foot. "Uh … that time when um … uh."

What was wrong with him? He was all forward before! Why nervousness now? ~ It's just I don't know where to start? I can't go all like 'remember the day you smacked me with the big spoon?' or 'remember the day you had a huge fight with Giles?' or 'remember the day you got stoned?' Hell can't! ~

"Stop with stuttering and get on with it," Spike said rudely.

Xander glared. Enough with Mr. Nice Guy! Spike didn't deserve it anyway! "Listen, pal, you know something I don't know about my parents so speak up right now!"

Spike couldn't help but chuckle. He turned towards the boy. The sulking look on the brat's face was very cute. ~ He was actually 13?! ~

"Yeah, well, I know some stuff," he said with a teasing smirk.

"Enlighten me."

Spike shrugged. "K, I asked Pops right after yours died about your family, but he was in too terrible of shape to answer. I was angry coz I wanted to know about this brat who was coming to ruin my way of living …"

"Spike," Xander interrupted. He wanted straight answers and was not in the mood for Spike's rambling.

Spike stared at the boy for a minute. At first he was all for hurting the boy with rude comments about his folks. But now looking into those huge brown eyes that had all the 'hurt me now with a single word' sign written all over them, Spike figured he should just get it over with and tell the kid the whole truth.

"Well, your father had a very strong relationship with a British bird. After seven years, the woman broke up with your Pops. It was very hard on him that he listened to one of his chums and went to a Stripper club to perk up. After getting drunk and playing some, he woke up in the morning with a whore." Spike stopped talking and looked at Xander. The boy's arms were warped around his body tightly and his face was expressionless.

"Her name was Jessica Parker?" Spike asked, even though it was stupid, both of them knew that was Xander's mother's name.

Xander nodded silently. He ran a shaking hand through his hair. "So … they just slept together? No protection. I mean Dad could be very drunk but that was just plain stupid …"

"He was hurting," Spike cut him off gently. "He didn't think. As for her I … " He didn't know what were the whore's intentions.

"She was just a slut," Xander spoke with an edge. His face had a hard grimace, as he looked down at his feet.

Spike could see the humiliation all over the boy. Why wouldn't he? He just learned that he was a mistake. That his father wasn't intending to have kids, that his mother was a whore who couldn't care less about him. This wasn't the first time this woman's name was mentioned to Spike. Mr. Abrams, Parker's father, did sleep with her once. Parker was actually named after her family. According to Mr. Abrams, she had sexual talents that he never dreamed of so he promised to name his kid, if he ever had one, after her. And he did. Parker didn't seem broken hearted by it anyway.

The thought about Parker made his heart hurt a bit. It was really hard to think about his mate for five years being thrown in jail for whatever time. Spike knew that he'd lost his friend for good now.

"So what happened then?"

Xander's question woke Spike from his musing. He looked bewildered. "Wot?"

"What happened after they …? Did they freak out? Did they hate …?" Xander trailed off looking down like a puppy waiting to be kicked.

In this moment, Spike knew that it was up to him to either break the boy or make him feel better. Spike didn't know exactly why he disliked the kid in the first place. The first thought that came into Spike's head the moment he heard his father was adopting a kid was how his life would be disturbed. Kids were annoying, screaming, running around, breaking stuff … actually if you look at it, Spike was the one who gave Xander a hard time since he came here. He always mocked him, broke his project, locked him in the basement and hit him with a big spoon. Maybe it was Spike who was the little monster.

"Spike?"

Spike jumped out of his thoughts. "Wot?"

"Answer me!" Xander whined annoyed. "What happened next?"

"If you keep whining like this, I won't tell!" Spike warned. "Ask nicely."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Would you please continue oh kind sir?"

Spike couldn't help but chuckle. He took a deep breath. "Well, to be honest. Your mum didn't want anything to do with you but your father was willing to take care of you." He looked at Xander seriously. "I really don't know if he thought that you're a burden or not. I didn't know your Pops. But since he didn't drop you at a foster home I'm sure he cared about you."

"Way to cheer me up," Xander said sarcastically.

Spike grimaced. "Now, I told you what you want, get out and close the door behind you."

Xander sighed. "Alright, alright." He walked towards the door, paused, "Thanks," he whispered.

"You're still here? Get out!"

Xander turned to stare at Spike with skepticism. Spike gestured with his hand at Xander as if he was ordering a dog. "Go."

"Unbelievable," Xander said with disgust.

He got out and closed the door behind him. Turning to his text book, Spike just smiled.

Spike inhaled as he stood in the airport, backpack on his shoulder, and was looking at the people going here and there. There was a new excitement that went through his body and made him shudder. He was going to Britain. To college. New thing. A stupid grin filled his face.

He was leaving. At last! He was getting out of Sunnydale's poisonous atmosphere. Everything went wrong in the last month. Spike's smile faded as he remembered, drugs, Parker in jail, their band shattered. He and Oz weren't that close anymore and he didn't know anything about Devon. It was so good to get out of all of this mess. College would be different. Spike was sure.

He spotted his father coming towards him after he took care of his luggage. Rupert gave him back his passport. "Alright, think you're settled now," he said softly.

Spike nodded. "Thank you." He looked at his watch. There were only a few minutes until they call the passengers for the flight.

"So this is it," Rupert said smiling.

Spike looked up and smiled back. "Yeah." He noticed the sad look in his father's eyes. His relationship with his Pops had just begun to improve and Spike was glad. He'd actually started to enjoy spending time with the old man. His father knew how to play the guitar and they sang together on so many occasions. Spike even started to have grown up talks with him.

~ I guess I'm beginning to mature. ~

Although he and his father had started to come to good terms, he and Xander didn't come near any progress. They still fought and annoyed his Pops like shit. Xander even said that he would kill himself rather than come to the airport and say good bye to Spike.

"So will I be missed? Or is it good riddance?" Spike joked to lighten the mood.

His father looked disapproving. "You know I'll miss you, boy."

"I know, Pops. Just teasing." Spike kept grinning. "Besides, I'll visit or you can visit. You and the brat … if he wants to anyway," he finished shrugging carelessly.

"I'm sure he will." Rupert's eyes turned very serious. "If you need anything, Edward will be there, or you can call home, I'll be there."

Spike was touched. He smiled again. "Of course."

A woman's voice rose announcing that the plane to London was about to leave, Spike sighed. "So that's my plane." He looked up at Rupert. "Now lets begin the college years."

Rupert placed a hand on Spike's shoulder. "I … I'm very proud of you," his voice wavered saying that, and then he pulled Spike into a very tight hug.

Spike hugged his father back as tight, burying his face in the older man's shoulder. They hugged for a while until they heard a call telling the passengers to get on the plane. They parted and looked at each other for a bit then Spike walked towards the entrance.

End of Stage One

Feed the Author