Rating: R (along the way... who knows, lets be careful though)
Spoilers: BtVS S6,
Feedback: Yes please, please! You so don't wanna see us beg… so review and Feed the striving Authors… please?

Disclaimer: they belong to Joss and co etc. We borrowed Spike & Xander and dammit we’ll take our time!!
Distribution: S.I.A.M.. You want it? No way!!! Sure you can, if you don’t I’ll let you meet my Ripper. Just tell us first.
Author (Mera) note: *gasp* Oh my! Another one! Will this madness never end? *giggle* okay notes of this fic … actually this fic is a reply to a challenge I made that a lot like but *pout* none wrote!

Challenge: Okay… so I was watching BtVS S6 Entropy I got to wondering, is there a story out there where Halfrek doesn't interrupt Anya's interesting chain of thought and Anya carries through her plan… finding someone to wish Spike a woman. Of course, then something goes wrong and he stays that way. Unfortunately for Anya he ends up with Xander!! Also, it would be great if afterwards he goes back to being the hunk of man we all love.

To make this easier to understand both Xander and Spike are going to be addressed as 'he' and 'him' and so on.

Thanks goes out to Ebony for the quick beta!

La Femme Spander

by
Mera and Farah

Part One

"They're all, 'oh, poor Xander! It took so much out of him, all that running away he did.' I just don't understand what's wrong with these people."

"Did you really think they were the ones who would help you?" Halfreck asked her distressed friend.

"Well, but…" Anya started.

"Do you want retribution, Anyanka?"

"I want Xander good and cursed," Anya said firmly in anger.

"Then you know what you have to do."

"Get a wish from someone who doesn't freaking love him." She spat.

"Exactly." The justice demon nodded.

"Yeah, but my social circle is a little limited here. What am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?"

Halfreck looked, blinking, at her. Anya placed her hand on her cheek thinking. She jerked up gasping.

"Oh my God. Spike *hates* Xander. Maybe I could get him to wish ... dammit, if only he were a woman." She returns to her thinking position before jumping up again excited. "Got it! If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I could go to him… well, he'd be a her by then… then I could go to her…"

Halfeck shook her head at her demented friend.

~ Anyanka has this whole female-power, Take Back the Night thing, that's cute. But she always forgets what I've been telling her decades … men need a little vengeance now and then, too. Oh well let her try her hard way… I'm thinking there's a lot of fun down the line. ~

She smiled and stood up, "Good luck with that. Ta-ta!" and vanished.

Anya stood up. She had to find a person willing to make a wish on Spike.

"Harmony!" The blond vampire looked up from her squirming prey. She frowned which looked strange on her vampire face.

"You!" she said recognizing her addresser. She let go of her prey as she approached and the young man scrambled away not even pausing a second to look behind him

"Ugggh! Look what you did!" she screeched. "I wanted to turn him… he looked like Orlando Bloom!"

Anya shrugged. "I think Johnny Depp is more attractive."

Harmony reverted into human features. "True… but I couldn't find anyone… Hey!" She glared. "Why are we having a conversation? You're dating Xander the dweeb!"

"Xander isn't…!" Anya started indignantly before she remembered why she was here in the first place. She huffed. "Well you're one to talk… getting dumped by a chipped vampire!"

The blond vampire placed her hands on her hips. "I'll let you know… *I* broke up with him!"

"Really? Well the way I heard it, is that he left you because he wanted the slayer."

Harmony's eyes widened and she pouted. "Can you believe it? My little booboo was willing to kill his Drood-zilla over the skinny Buffy… I was there! Did he even think of staking me?! Noooo! It's all 'My dark princess this… My salvation that'. Weeping over his precious Dorkus."

Anya nodded faking sympathy. "And that hurt you… after all you did for him… didn't it?"

Harmony wiped a tear and sat on a wooden crate in the dark ally and nodded sniffling.

Anya took several steps closer. "You wanted him to suffer… you wanted him to know how it felt… how hard it was?"

The sniffling vampire nodded furiously. "Yeah! I wish he knew how hard it was to be a vampire and a woman! I mean my tan lines alone…" She stopped with a gasp.

In front of her Anya's visage changed into her demon look. Anyanka smiled evilly. "Done!"

Part Two

"Oh My God! What the hell happened to me!?"

Buffy and Willow turned their eyes simultaneously from the T.V. screen to blink at each other. The same question went through their heads. ~ Who the hell was that? ~

The two girls had decided to invite Xander for a 'comfort-movie-night', trying to make him feel better after Anya rejected his advances at them becoming a couple again. The young man excused himself to the kitchen saying that if the girls were going to subject him to a girly movie he was owed some popcorn. Buffy had rolled her eyes and waved him away placing the chosen said 'girly' movie in the DVD.

Hearing the high-pitched scream, both girls jumped off the couch to the kitchen. Their eyes widened as they caught a brunette woman standing with her back to them. The stranger slowly turned around, eyes wider than theirs seemingly shocked, holding her bosom and… shaking them. "What are these?" she snapped distressed looking directly from Buffy to Willow for an answer.

"Boobs?" Buffy answered unsure of the question as her eyebrows rose and her nose creased, confused.

Willow was looking intently at them, her head turning slightly to the left as she tried to get a better look. ~ Pretty boobs, ~ she thought almost drooling.

The brunet young woman wrapped her arms around her chest protectively. "Stop ogling me, Willow!"

Willow looked at the strange brunette-young woman perplexed. "How did ya know my name?"

"How did you get into Xander's pants?" Buffy asked pointing her finger directing her gaze at the jeans pooled at the strange woman's feet.

The brunet looked down. "Eek! I thought it was windy. At least my boxers stayed on."

Willow's eyes widened. "Xander?"

Buffy pouted. "You have prettier legs than me," she said sadly.

Willow looked down and nodded vigorously whilst Buffy glared at her for her eagerness at agreeing.

"Is this the problem here? Hello! I'm a woman for God's sake!" Xander yelled angrily waving his hands, breaking the glaring match.

Buffy and Willow tore their eyes from Xander's legs and each other with quite an effort. They looked back at the female features of their used-to-be-male friend.

"Um … hi remember me? In need of help here. And well staring at my face intead of each other or my legs isn't really helping … and God! What is wrong with my voice? It sounds funny!"

"Right," Buffy recovered first. "What did you do before you went all girlie-like?"

"Nothing, I was just about to pop me some popcorn." Xander indicated at the open microwave with the bag inside.

"I think this case needs a trip to the Magic Box," Willow said looking at Buffy seriously.

"Willow's right. Let's go," Xander exclaimed eagerly already heading towards the kitchen door being the closest exit.

"Um … Xander? Not to sound all Cordy here but you can't go out wearing that," Willow said moving her hand up and down at his body.

Xander gave her a deadly stare and Willow actually flinched. "I'm not wearing women's clothes, Willow," his voice sounded with such rage that Willow hid behind Buffy. The redhead couldn't protect herself with magic, well she could but she wouldn't. She went without unnecessary magic so far, so she hung in there. She had Buffy to protect her from over-hormonal female-phobic ex-guy-best-friends.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Seriously Xand, you look like a bimbo in her boyfriend's shirt after a hot, sweaty sex." She blinked as a picture of her in Parkers room the morning after appeared in her head. She felt herself loosing confidence but brought on another picture, her smacking the lying boy with a wooden branch. Better. "You don't want people staring at you, do you?"

Xander thought about it then sighed defeated. "Fine! But no skirts!" he stressed. "No dresses, no tops. I want large sized pants and shirt." He nodded and placed his hands on his hips. Willow bit inside of her cheek to stop from grinning. His uptight pose and speak reminded her of another brunette woman.

"Sorry, can't do." Buffy shrugged. "All I have is small… uh too small for you."

"Uh, c'mon Buff!" Xander whined. "You've gotta have something not your size… something comfortable."

Buffy's face took a shocked and somewhat outraged look. Xander actually almost backed away. He would have if it weren't for him being afraid of getting tangled in his jeans and falling on his ass. He turned his pleading eyes towards Willow.

"What about you Wills? You were always a fan of comfort in high school… anything in a larger size?"

Willow shook her head helplessly.

"Sorry, Xan. My new wardrobe is all womanly skirts and small sized jeans."

"Crap!" Xander cursed.

"C'mon, Xander. Gotta suck it up and wear women clothes," Buffy took Xander's hand and dragged him out of the kitchen. "Let's get you into something."

"You just wanna cover my pretty legs." The now brunette woman huffed indignantly while desperately holding on to the over sized jeans so they won't fall.

Buffy scowled and pushed him up the stairs.

"What about the movie?!" Willow yelled at Buffy and Xander's retreating backs and looked back helplessly at the paused DVD. She sighed. Freddie will have to wait. She got a devilish gleam in her eyes. And ran up to catch Buffy and Xander.

"Buffy! I've got an idea!"

Part Three

"Your idea sucks, Willow!!" Xander called out irritably.

"Can I come in now?" Willow asked bored. She had heard it all already.

"No, you can't!" Xander snapped at the closed door.

"Oh c'mon, Xand," Buffy began while helping Xander to put on a bra. "Willow is a girl. Girls do see each other naked."

"But she's gay! She's out of the rule book," he said nodding his head to emphasize. "It says so in the rule book. I should know, I'm a girl," he muttered bitterly and winced as Buffy tightened on the bra clasp. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Sorry," Buffy murmured not sounding that sorry. "But your breasts are C cup. I'm trying to lift them up," she explained.

~ I never thought I'd ever live to hear that sentence intended for me. ~ Xander thought and groaned. ~ Won't Dad be proud! ~

"God, this is the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me."

~ And we all know how my life is full of humiliations. Well, at least these boobs don't need that huge bra those stupid frats made me wear. ~

"It's on," Buffy finished with a grin. Xander turned to face her and she pointed her finger saying warningly, "Don't make any sudden moves."

Xander gave her a death glare.

"What? I had to say it." She shrugged a pleased smile on her face.

"Ha, ha, *very* funny. You know what? You're just jealous." Xander wrapped his arms around himself and looked up annoyed.

Buffy huffed and went to open the door.

Xander's eyes widened in fright and turned to look at her as she walked away. "What are you doing?"

Buffy spoke slowly, "I'm going to open the door."

"Why?"

"So Willow can come in."

"Why?"

Buffy give him a look.

"She doesn't need to come in you know," Xander smiled sheepishly.

Buffy held her hand over her mouth in shock. "You're gonna stop a girl from joining a makeover party. How could you Xander? She's your best friend." She hiccupped.

"I didn't mean … wait," he stopped short. "What do you mean makeover party?"

It was Buffy's turn to smile sheepishly. "Well, technically this is a try out."

"There's gonna be more?!"

"Duh, Dawn will kill us if we do one without her." She shrugged.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the brown-haired girl and opened the door to Willow. Xander gasped and quickly gave the door his back. His arms had tightened even more around himself.

The redhead entered looking at the half-naked brunette's back. She smirked jokingly. "Oh, Xander, you look hot." The husky sound of her voice made Buffy look at her confused. Willow only winked at the blond to play along.

Xander glared at the wall knowing that Willow was making fun of him. He was sure she heard his complaints through the door. He looked down at Tara's clothes, which Willow had suggested for him to wear. That had been her 'idea'. "These clothes suck."

"Hey!" Willow yelled angrily.

"Well, they don't match my taste!" He turned to look at his with a scowl on his feminine face.

"Like you have the greatest taste in clothes," Willow retorted. She had a sudden feel of guilt even though Xander didn’t look offended.

"Well,” she said trying to even the playing field. “We all don't have the greatest taste in clothes."

"Hey, speak of yourselves!" Buffy exclaimed. She turned to close the door and mumbled, "Mean tasteless losers."

Xander and Willow exchanged a smile as memories of high school Buffy flashed in their heads.

Part Four

Xander huffed as he stood behind the counter. Hours ago, they found the Magic Box closed, which was a bit strange. Anya would never close the store this early. Buffy and Willow figured that she was still upset enough to not seek more money and followed that conclusion by staring at a pouting Xander.

The second they went in, using the extra key Giles had given Buffy when he returned to England, Buffy and Willow went in search of books about boys turning into girls. Hopefully, with the systematic instruction in how to reverse it. The girls were avidly looking while Xander was not. He was whining and pouting all the time about not wanting to be a girl. Thus, acting as Buffy pointed out then 'like such a girl'.

Xander had been left in front of the cash register in case someone came in. Anya would never forgive them if there were a lost money gaining opportunity. Buffy and Willow had searched through bookshelves in front not finding anything then chose to head back where Giles had kept the more precious books.

Xander was frustrated. He leaned onto his elbows. His body didn't feel right, and the bra Buffy used her slayer strength on was killing him. He glared down at his chest remembering how he tried to convince Buffy that he didn't need a bra. Buffy explained then that Xander's breasts were too big for him to leave them without support, claiming that they would hurt if left like that. With no previous female experience, Xander, pouting, relented.

Groaning with embarrassment, Xander let his head fall to hit the counter. ~ Man that hurt!~ He yelped … a female yelp to his shame.

He raised his head when he heard the bell to the shop door jingle. He watched transfixed as a gorgeous blonde-haired woman strode confidently towards him. Xander racked up and down her body noticing her long flowing blonde curls bounce over her perky chest.

The former boy distractedly made sure his mouth was closed and that no drool had escaped. There was no sense in scaring Anya's customer by his raging hormones.

Xander's eyes locked with the woman's sharp blue ones. He couldn't help but notice the long light brown eyelashes. His eyes drifted down a sharp nose to gaze at the full pink lips. Lips that were turned up in a familiar smirk that he could not place at that moment.

One of the blonde curls fell over a well defined eyebrow. It made Xander itch and his hand twitched over the counter wanting to put it back in place. The blonde brushed it back revealing a scar in her eyebrow.

Xander frowned for a few seconds before realization hit him. He looked down at her clothes and noted the infamous duster. He gazed up at her face, his eyes checking the high, now full cheekbones.

"Spike?" Xander gasped as he straightened.

"Always knew you were slow, Harris." Spike smirked while looking back at the boy-turned-girl with a defined pink mark on his wide forehead.

The vampire hummed in appreciation in his mind. He had always had a thing for brunettes, and Xander as a female brunette was quite a looker. The wide brown eyes were more pronounced, the eyelashes were the same length or a little longer. Not like Spike had ever noticed the boy's eyelashes. The eyebrows had thinned considerably and the nose was long and straight.

Spike gazed at the boy's lips. The bottom lip was fuller. Harris still had the same unique upper lip that stuck out like a child's upper lip. It made Xander look like an adorable little virgin.

Spike whistled. "Pretty little virgin."

Xander's eyes had remained opened wide unsure of what he was seeing. "Spike?!" He was still in shock.

"Spike?!" came Buffy's voice from the back room. "What are you doing here?! Are you … whoa."

Both former males looked at Buffy, who stood by the door gaping at Spike. "Oh God, Spike, you're a girl!"

"How did you know it was him?!" Xander exclaimed.

"Well, any idiot would know that. The duster for one thing and the face, it's pretty much Spike but more feminine."

Xander pouted. "Well, it took you a long time to know me." He ignored the fact that it took him a while to figure out that fact. A while spent in thoughts that will forever be locked in the 'never be mentioned again' box in his head.

"Well … you're not exactly the same Xander. I mean sure the face is still round, and the eyes are the same. But the other things are still different."

"Other things? What do you mean by other things?" Xander squeaked indignant at his friend. He really didn't need to be criticized in front of hot chick Spike.

~ in the box… now!"

"She means the breasts, mate."

Xander covered his breasts, cheeks flushed. "Well, you have breasts too!" He looked at the tight red shirt that its buttons could barely hold the boobs in.

~ What happened to the box?! ~ Xander's mind whined when his eyes continued to gaze at the covered yet pronounced breasts.

It was Spike's turn to pout. "Not as big as those of yours."

Xander blushed even more. Did Spike actually complement him? Did he actually care!?

~ So need to buy a new box… this is defective! ~

Willow came into the room. She was wondering what the raised voices were about. "Hey, guys what's up?" She stopped suddenly as she spotted the stunning blonde. Her heart sped up as she licked her suddenly dry lips.

What was happening to her? That young woman was absolutely not her type. She liked the cute type, not the sexy type. She liked cute Xander, cute Oz, cute Tara … she STILL liked cute Tara!

Willow nodded firmly to herself. She didn’t seem to be hearing Buffy who was looking at Spike’s breasts. “I think your breasts look fine. I mean they’re average, not too small or too big. Well above average in these parts,” she said bitterly as she cast a look at Xander’s chest then back at Spike before casually pulling her shirt down a little.

Xander covered his breasts embarrassed. He looked at the still silent Willow. “Willow, help me out here! What do you think of Spike’s boobs? They’re small, right?” he said wanting to rile the vampire and trying to convince himself that his fellow sex-changer wasn't attractive. Spike raised a delicate eyebrow, and didn't fall for the bait, just glared at him.

Something caught the redhead's attention. ~ Boobs? ~ Willow’s eyes drifted from the blonde’s dazzling face to her chest. She noticed how the red shirt could barely hold those gorgeous B-cubs in. "No,” she answered Xander’s question with a dreamy shake. “They’re just right."

Xander grunted. ~ Man, why are all women against me today? Does it have to do with the leaving Anya at the alter thing? It’s not like I did it without a reason! But did they even ask about the reason?! No! ~ He sighed. ~ Yeah, just blame it on your friends, huh, Harris? ~

He looked at his friends, suddenly feeling more miserable. “Did you find something yet?” What a better way to change the subject from breast competition.

Buffy shook her head. “Nothing, sorry Xan,” she said sympathetically.

“Spike!”

Everyone looked at Willow who pointed at the vampire. “Spike’s duster! Spike!”

Buffy nodded bored. “Yeah, we covered that already.”

“What turned you into a girl Spike?” Willow asked. “Was it the same demon that turned Xander?”

Aggravated, Xander hit the table with his fists. “For the last time there was no demon!”

“There’s always a demon, Xander,” Buffy told the now brunette girl wit assertion. She turned her slayer eyes to Spike. “Now tell what happened.”

“Well, it is a 'demon'. Anya happened,” Spike said.

“Anya is not a demon!” Xander yelled angrily slamming his hands down once more. That seemed like such a manly act earlier so he did it again.

“Yeah, she is, mate. Got 'er old job back, demon perks and all."

Xander blinked, upset. "She did?" he sounded hurt. Was he the reason?

"I'm sorry, Xander," Willow said looking concerned at her unhappy friend.

"So Anya is a vengeance demon now? And she wished for Xander to be a girl?" Buffy asked confused.

~ Why would Anya want to punish Xander by making him a girl? I've always thought she'd wish those icky things about pusses and penises. Well, glad it went this way. Ewww. But, what's Spike gotta do with this? ~

"It's your fault!" Spike yelled at Xander cutting Buffy's thoughts off.

"Why is it always my fault?!" Xander said defensively with a little hit of whine, knowing full well that it was indeed his fault.

"The demon chit is mad at you! And *I* got caught in the middle of the bloody crossfire!"

"Why were you in the middle exactly?" Buffy asked.

So Spike told them what he knew from what Anya had said to him before disappearing and leaving him to find the shrunken clothes he had hidden so long ago.

"… Fucking Harm! And then … uh…she tricked me into wishing Harris a woman."

"You mean it wasn't Anya who did the wish?" Xander said his face brightening with happiness. That was a plus.

Everyone gave him a look.

He blinked before realizing how stupid his words were. Trying to change the subject yet again, which he seemed to be doing a lot lately, he glowered at Spike. "You wished me to become a girl?!!!"

"Well, technically I didn't use the word 'wish', and if I wanted to make a wish against you, I wouldn't want to turn you into a beautiful girl, I'd have you turned into a an ugly cow."

"You would've made me a cow?!" The brunette screeched while Spike cackled.

"Would stop that?!" Buffy yelled irritated. "We have a major problem here! And it's about you two! Can you focus and help out?"

Xander and Spike looked away ashamed of their behavior. "Sorry," Xander mumbled.

Buffy sighed. "Okay, now we know that Anya … Anyanka had done 'this'." She pointed at the still glaring two. "Too bad she never told us how she was turned into a human in the first place. Have you got an idea, Will?" she said as she looked at Willow.

Willow hmm-ed. She was still busy oogling Spike. Even knowing that it was Spike she was drooling over didn't make a difference… or perhaps made it more exciting. She had always thought what it would be if a vampire…

"Willow!!" The redhead snapped when Buffy clapped her hands in front of her face.

"Oh, oh right." She coughed trying to cover up her embarrassment. Xander glared at her feeling betrayed and a little jealous. Spike only smirked noticing the young witch's interest as clearly as everyone else did.

~ What can a bloke… uh chit say… I'm sexy as hell! No matter what skin I'm in. ~ Spike mused smugly.

Willow bit her lip then sighed defeated. "I've got nothing."

Buffy nodded. "Then we have no choice. Giles it is."

Part Five

Dawn gazed at the strange brunette and strange blonde haired women with eyes filled with curiosity. She was still processing what Buffy had just informed her. These women were actually Xander and Spike!

She blinked once more and worked her jaw to make sure that she wasn't showing all her teeth for all to see. From the way the women looked, she could see it was not a late April Fools joke.

~ Only in Sunnydale! ~

Xander looked the same but more womanly and *way* shorter than he used to be. She grinned; she was taller than he was now. His eyes were the same big and round browns but more distinct on his female features. The lashes were the same length given that they were always like that even before this new interesting development. Dawn would bet that they were even longer than Buffy and Willow's. She pouted, and even hers, which was so unfair! The eyebrows were smaller and were nicely shaped, not perfect but natural. The silky dark hair reached the tip of his shoulders. His body was lean, not too lean, yet full in the right places, it matched Xander's full breasts well.

Dawn turned her attention to Spike. The blonde's eyes were perfect, they were sharp blue and rimmed with long light brown lashes.

~ Where they that long before? ~

The young girl wanted to worship Spike's perfect nose. His lips were the same full lips he always had. Maybe the disgruntled pout puffed them even more. As a member of the female species, he had fuller cheeks yet still held his cause for envy of all cheekbones. Spike's hair was shiny full blonde locks that cascaded over his shoulders. It was longer than Xander's hair and the soft curls reached the middle of Spike's back. The leather duster completed the sexy form of Hot William the Bloody, as always.

The vampire was a bit shorter than he used to be, as a woman he was few inches taller than Xander. Dawn could clearly see why. Xander's little body fit his cute appearance, while Spike's hot looks required the taller form. Spike wasn't that tall anyway, having lost a few inches, he might be Dawn's height or a little bit taller. It was Xander who had seemingly shrunk.

After several blinks, Dawn opened her mouth, "Xander does have the bigger boobs." She nodded to the girls.

"Oh c'mon!" Xander spat out indignant.

Dawn pulled back startled.

Spike shrugged. "I'm telling ya, mate, medium size perky breasts are 'totally in season'," he said the last word in a somewhat mocking Cordelia tone. "I mean you can't run with those things." He indicated with a wave to Xander's left boob.

"Ow!" Xander and Spike yelled in pain.

Spike clutched his head, glaring at Xander. "Oi, watch where you point those things!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Gross Spike."

Spike raised eyebrow at her. "You're just jealous pet. You're nowhere as hot and cute as me and Xandra here." He placed his hand on Xander's shoulder his tone clearly showed which one was the cute and which was the hot.

Xander was still rubbing his left boob with his right hand. He pushed Spike's arm off with his left and stepped away. And if he walked towards Buffy it was because that direction was the farthest away from the breast boxer, NOT to seek protection from the still smaller form of the slayer. He never had and never will do that!

"I still don't understand why I can't go to my apartment?" Xander huffed heatedly; while trying to keep from snapping at his annoying thoughts and ignoring the very womanly huff-somewhat-whine that had so easily came out from between his lips.

Dawn blinked at the huffing. ~ Wow, Xander does take this girly thing seriously. ~ She grinned as she looked the two used-to-be-men over once more. The whole thing was extremely enjoyable for a girl her age.

"Because, one," Buffy began, "There is no way anyone I know is going out like that…" She pointed at his ill-fitting Tara clothes with distaste. "Those are SO not you. Second, there is no way to be sure that Anya won't be continuing her vengeful bender and you staying here makes it easier for me to do my protecty thing." She grinned. She knew she should've gotten an A in debate. She pouted. ~ Stupid Mrs. Parkers. Knew I should've let Oz eat her. ~

Xander pulled away from Buffy sure that she was going insane especially with that wistful look and the tiny evil smile. He inched closer to Spike. He would take his chances with Slap Them Boobs. Moreover, Buffy was saying that Anya could come back for more.

"What do you mean make more with the vengeance-ing on me?!" he screeched. Spike pulled away rubbing his ear and nearly slammed into a grinning eye-fluttering Willow. Xander waved his hands at the living room as a whole, having noticed that as well.

"She turned me into a girl, Buffy!"

The addressing snapped Buffy out of her happy werewolf releasing for teacher-control thoughts. She blinked at Xander.

"You think being a girl is bad enough to be payback for what you did to Anya? Enough to satisfy her 1000+ years of demon-y vengeful experience? You think what happened to you is that bad?"

"Duh!" Xander yelled. "There is nothing worse she can do to me now!"

"Xander!!!!" four yells caused the poor still-getting-used-to-a-shorter-body's-balance-recently-girl-ed-ex-boy to fall onto the couch. He sat up and looked at their faces before looking down ashamed.

"Sorry."

Spike nodded. "That's it. The boy- uh chit is jinxed … no way I'm staying near 'im!" He headed towards the door.

"Hey, Spike, before you go what is the time?!" Dawn yelled at his retreating back.

Spike turned around confused. "Well, Bit, it's way passed your bedtime if that's what you want to know. Little girls shouldn't be still up and about enough to see the sun… oh…" He huffed and planted himself next to Xander who was too depressed to notice much less care.

Xander was pouting which meant he wasn't convinced yet, but still too embarrassed about him inviting Hellmouth fate for dinner-on-him to make voice of his doubts.

Spike on the other hand just shrugged. "Alright then, where will I be sleeping?"

"My room," everyone looked at Willow who hadn't pronounced a word - if one overlooked the joint 'Xander' bellow - since they left the Magic Box and was busy trying to make sure that no one noticed her staring at Spike. The redhead blushed as her absent mind caught the wide eyes of Buffy and with an added gape for Dawn, the shocked and hurt look from Xander and Spike's annoying satisfied amused smirk. She quickly worked her mind in an effort on mending the awkward situation.

"I … I meant both … um Spike and Xander can sleep in my room," Willow stuttered.

"Yeah. Now that was WAY convincing," Dawn said with rolled eyes.

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