Commencement
I don’t know what it is lately, but none of the things that used to excite me, do anything for me anymore. I feel like I’m at a crossroads. It reminds me of what Norman Osborn said in the first Spiderman movie.
Commencement: The ending of one thing and the beginning of another.
I haven’t read a comic book in months. I have a large pile of unread comics that has been sitting on my floor, untouched for months. And these aren’t just any comics either. There are Avengers comics in there too; books that I never would have left unread for more than a day. Sure I’ve gone through periods before when I’ve had no interest in comics, but I really feel like this is different. I have no intentions of going back to Strange Adventures cause I know there’s a pile of new comics waiting for me. Frankly I don’t want them. And why is this? I have no idea.
Video games are another area that do nothing for me. I am actually a little surprised with this one, given that I picked up both Smackdown vs. Raw 2006 and The Warriors in the last few months. Sure I played them for a while when I got them, but since then, nothing. Mind you, this isn’t much of a surprise, cause before I picked those up, it had been a while since I played. The scary thing is that the other day I popped in Smash Bros. Melee, and was pretty bored, pretty quick. Of course I suppose if I had other people to play at the time, it could have been different, but I not so confident. Even when the opportunity to play classic Genesis games came up, I wasn’t all that wowed.
Sure, I still keep the TV on when I’m home, but how much do I actually watch? Sure I’ve been harping this for years, BUT MAN TV SUCKS! I guess the fact that Simpsons have been so pointless these last few years has really opened my eyes to the lack of good television. It’s really sad to watch sometimes...or anytime I have the opportunity to watch a new episode. They seriously don’t make sense anymore. Like the episode when Springfield was in contention for an NFL franchise. Somehow it started there, and ended up with Grandpa becoming a matador. It’s like seeing a loved one that has a disease or something. You can only remember the good times, or how they used to be, and not this shell that they’ve become. And the worst part is, the old, classic episodes of the Simpsons have been watched sooo many times, that I’m no longer as amused by them as I used to be. Don’t get me wrong, there are always shows that I enjoy, like Family Guy, NCIS, King Of The Hill, and Deal Or No Deal, but I never thought I would get to the point where I would actually be disinterested in the Simpsons. I’m sure Ma is happy that this day has finally come.
Then there’s the issue of DVDs. I have decided that I no longer intend to buy DVDs for an undisclosed period of time. Why? Because I buy them, and never watch them. Sure, I’ve watched most of them, but only a handful of them have been watched more than once. In fact, I’d say that there are at least 15 DVDs on my shelf right now that I have had for at least a few months, and never watched. There are several that I can think of that I’ve had for at least a year and never watched. Money well spent. I remember when I first got my DVD player, I’d buy movies and watch them and get excited by the littlest things, like the interactive menus. So they're here and I could watch them if I wanted to, but I don’t.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always enjoyed going to the movies. Sure they’re still good now, but I truly haven’t looked forward to a movie in like two years. And man, was I disappointed with Spiderman 2. Sure, there have been other movies that I’ve enjoyed these past few years. A number of them actually. But more often than not, I don’t really look forward to seeing movies anymore. There’s no movie that I just HAVE to see. Mind you, that could have something to do with the fact that Return To Sleepaway Camp has still yet to be released. But really, most times a new movie comes out and I have any interest, which is rare, I certainly have no problem waiting for it to come out on video and then never rent it. Even movies like Fantastic Four or Batman Begins were good, but it was no big deal when I saw them. And then there’s movies like Lord of the Rings that everybody raved about. I just didn’t get it. They were decent enough, but didn’t do anything for me. Its truly rare that I really get excited about movies anymore.
Even my beloved tape trading no longer has me marking out. Sure its great to get tapes in the mail, but its just not the same. In many cases, its just another example of me having things to watch, but not doing so. I recently got the entire series of Bionic Six, but have yet to even pop them in the DVD player. So what’s the point in me spending time making tapes and spending money if I don’t even do anything with the stuff I get in return? Sure the stuff I get with commercials are great, cause I can put them on compilation tapes, but what’s the point. I can’t put them on eBay anymore, and I have great reserves about me ever taking the time to put them on ioffer.com. So if I’m not making money on them, and not watching them, why do I continue to try to grow? All I’m doing is wasting money.
But with all of this, I still have wrestling, right? I do. But it really doesn’t matter. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still love it, but it just doesn’t excite me. I loved Wrestlemania this year, and thought it was a great show, but then again, its WrestleMania, so it pretty much has to rule. It just seems that everything is so predictable, and I’m never really shocked by what I see. I could miss a week, and it probably wouldn’t make a huge difference. Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of missing Raw or Smackdown, but I am more likely to be doing something a the same time. A few years ago, I hated it when people would talk through it, now I’m usually on the laptop while watching it. I guess after 18 years of watching, I want something new, and not just old storylines with new players. It just feels like Raw used to be Must See TV, vause there was always something going on. PPVs used to mean something to me. But now I only ever order a few a year, cause its just not worth it.
Which brings me to this website itself. As I’m sure many of you have noticed, I haven’t updated the site in ages. And even that last update wasn’t that great. This used to be something that I really enjoyed doing, and I took great pride in the feedback I was getting. I still have a huge list of topics that I wanted to cover, but I don’t want them to be slapped together. But I just don’t have the motivation. There are some great things that I’ve wanted to do with this site, including a bunch of awesome diorama comics, but there’s no desire anymore. Maybe this will just pass. Maybe its just a faze or something. I really don’t know.
So after all this, you must be wondering, well Matt, what do you want to do? I have no idea. What I want is to do something that makes me mark out. Something that makes me feel good about what I’m doing, and fills me with pride and a sense of accomplishment. Something to occupy my mind and get it racing. Until I find that, I’ll just continue to drift, looking for that outlet. I guess I just need some excitement. I’m halfway through commencement, just waiting for the new stuff to begin. Perhaps I’m finally growing up.
