Symptoms: Indicators of Abusive Relationships

Using Emotional Abuse

• Putting you down
• Making you feel bad about yourself
• Calling you names
• Implying that you are crazy
• Playing mind games
• Using guilt as a weapon of control
• Using humiliation

Using Privilege

• Treating you like a servant
• Making all decisions for the family or couple
• Acting like an owner or master
• Being the one to define and enforce roles
• Expecting you to obey like a child

Using Coercion and Threats

• Making or carrying out threats
• Threatening to leave
• Threating to harm themself if you leave
• Threatening to hurt other family members or pets if you leave
• Threatening to report you to police, child welfare, etc. to control you
• Threatening to file false charges against you
• Using threats to get you to drop charges
• Threatening to expose a secret

Using Intimidation

• Making you afraid - looks, gestures, actions
• Smashing things
• Abusing pets
• Displaying weapons
• Threatening to expose a secret

Using the Children

• Using the children to relay messages
• Using visitation to harass you
• Threatening to take the children
• Threatening to harm the children

Using Isolation

• Controlling what you do
• Controlling who you see or talk to
• Limiting your outside involvement
• Not letting you work
• Not letting you receive an education
• Using jealousy to justify actions against you
• Destroying your support system

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

• Making light of the abuse
• Saying abusive behavior was not abusive
• Shifting the responsibility for the behavior to you