How To Shower Like a Woman :
:
: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
: hamper according to lights and darks.
:
: Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
: see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
:
: Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
: mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
:
: Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
: cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
:
: Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
: with 43 added vitamins.
:
: Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.  Condition
: your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
:
: Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
: 10 minutes until red.
:
: Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
: cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
:
: Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off
: all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
:
: Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small
: country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
:
: Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
:
: Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
: on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any  exposed
areas.


: How To Shower Like a Man :
:
: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
: and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
:
: If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
: making the “woo-woo' sound.
:
: Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
:
: Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
:
: Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
:
: Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
: them off.
:
: Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
:
: Spend majority of time washing privates and  surrounding
: area.
:
: Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck
: on the soap.
:
: Wash your hair.
:
: Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
:
: Pee.
:
: Rinse off and get out of shower.
:
: Partially dry off.
:
: Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
: tub the whole time.
:
: Admire wiener size in mirror again.
:
: Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
: fan on.
:
: Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
:
: If  you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
: 'woo-woo'  sound again.
:
: Throw wet towel on bed.
:
: If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the
: truth behind this, there is something so very wrong
: with you