A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a
new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's
state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor.
"What kind is it?"
"
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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor
to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the
street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really
doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said,
Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' " The
doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be
careful.'"
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A little old man shuffled
slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a
stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked
kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis!"