Notes: herself_nyc recently posted (flocked, sadly) a thread challenging people to write six-word stories. If you can't read Herself's version, you can go direct to the source, which is here [ http://www.livejournal.com/users/celestialblendr/27290.html?style=mine#cutid1 ], as far as I know.

Never let it be said that I let a challenge to write a really lazy story go by. Except of course I turn the meme to my own ends, which are Spanderish






The Romance of Spike 'n' Xander.

In Six Words at a Time.


by
Witling



One

Dresses like a retard. And yet...

God, I hate him. He's...compact.

Two

Faulty Orb, and nobody noticed. Typical.

Bits of vampire everywhere. Vamp kibble.

Three

"Why is he my problem again?"

"He'll heal in a week. Probably."

Four

In his sleep, Spike chases rabbits.

Xander watches with amusement. Eating Fritos.

 

Five

"St. Charles Place, thanks very much."

"Buying purple makes you a slumlord."

 

Six

"They always yell like this, then?"

"Like what?" Xander looks genuinely puzzled.

 

Seven

"Where's my wallet, scabs-for-brains?"

There's an extra fifty bucks inside.

 

Eight

"I'm just saying, he's not all bad."

"You're brainwashed." Behind Buffy, Willow winces.

 

Nine

"I'm going out." Anywhere. Doesn't matter.

Spike comes too. Yelling's gotten old.

 

Ten

"I think they're selling the house."

"And you in it?"

"Maybe."

"Fuck."

 

Eleven

"You're not bad, for a vampire."

"Piss off." But he's smiling slightly.

 

Twelve

"I think...I think I'm drunk."

Spike ignores that, and keeps kissing.

 

Thirteen

"Hang on--I know I'm drunk."

"Stop?"

"Fuck, no."

The carpet burns.

 

Fourteen

"They discharge you for doing that."

Spike lights a cigarette. "Again?"

"Yeah."

 

Fifteen

"You're not going to drain me, right?"

"Not if you pass the remote."

 

Sixteen

"I don't think we should tell."

Spike shrugs. "Not like I care."

 

Seventeen

"I'm gay."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm seeing Spike."

Pause.

"Shovel," Willow intones.

 

Eighteen

"Oh God, fuck, please, Spike, yeah--"

"Christ, fuck, yeah, baby, that's--"

 

Nineteen

"I've been thinking."

"No cats."

Xander adjusts his angle.

"Fuck, fine, cats--"

 

Twenty

"Did you see this coming?"

"No."

"Me neither."

Pause.

"Like it?"

"Yeah."







The End











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