Anything For You

by
Raihne

Part Three

After that first day Spike became a regular fixture in the Xander Harris household. He was there every morning on the weekends, feeding and playing with the kids so that Xander could get some sleep. He was there when Xander got off of work, fixing dinner and playing mr. mom to the three demons.

It was one day two weeks later when Ssol called Spike Wil-Daddy that Xander realized what was happening. Spike 'was' their daddy almost as much as Xander himself. The kids were 'theirs'. He heart felt like it might beat out of his chest he was so happy!

Spike turned to look at the wide eyed human and arched a brow, "What's wrong whelp? Your heart's all jumpy. You feeling ok?"

"Y. . . yeah. I just. . . um. . . thank you."

He smiled, "Told yah I like the whelps. You're not so bad either, when you're away from the minions."

"The. . . oh! The Scoobies?"

"Yeah. They aren't good for you."

"Well maybe not. But they're my friends."

"And now that . . . that the slayer is gone?" Spike's eyes fell and Xander ached. His happy home illusion was shattered.

He still loves her. I . . . why did I . . . Shit. "We'll fight like we always did. Buffy was great, but we weren't half bad either."

"You'll get killed quick out there without the slayer."

Xander nodded and sighed then looked up at Spike with a serious look he almost never wore. One that said 'please listen to what I'm going to say, it's life or death to me'. "If I die Spike, will you raise the boys?"

"Huh?! Me?!"

"They already call you Wil'daddy."

Spike blushed. "Heard that did you?"

"And Ssol never says something unless he means it. None of them do. I'm human. I know I'll die and I could die any day on the Hellmouth. They need one of their daddies."

"I. . ." Spike's blush deepened and Xander realized how that had sounded.

"I didn't. . ."

"Sure."

"Wha. . .?"

"I'll watch the whelps if something 'appens ta you."

"Thank you."

"Yeah yeah." He turned back to the stove but Xander caught his smile. Spike was pleased with the idea, and Xander was happy too.

The week that Buffy came back to life, Spike didn't show up. Not even one day. Xander knew he was trailing Buffy like a lost puppy but he worried anyway. Since they'd become a pseudo family Spike had never been gone longer than one night, and he'd been in trouble that night, almost caught in the sunrise!

The fifth day he finally gave up worrying and decided to go look for the vampire. After tucking the kids into bed and giving them as much blood as he could spare, he kissed them on the brow and smiled down on them. "Guys, I'm going out to find your daddy ok?"

"Is daddy ok?" Essej asked in a quiet voice.

Xander nodded, "I'm sure he's fine, he's just. . . been busy."

Yrral sniffled and gazed up and Xander with big eyes, "Is the Buffy lady going to take daddy away again? Like before?"

"No. Buffy lady never took daddy away. She knows I love him. He takes himself away when she's around. But this time. . . I'll tell him. Ok? I'll tell him how I feel and maybe he'll stay with us ok?"

"But what if he hates us for it?"

"It'll be better than waiting for him to come home then wont it?"

"I love Wil-dad Daddy." Essej sobbed.

"We all do baby. I'll try to bring him home. I promise I'll try."

They watched their daddy go and settled into an unpeaceful sleep full of worries and sadness. Their family was in trouble and not one of the small Garkreshin could do anything about it.

Xander walked toward Buffy's house going over what to say in his mind. He knew Spike would be around Buffy so now all he needed to do was find the right thing to say. Somehow, 'I love you come raise baby demons with me' just didn't sound right.

When he reached Buffy's block a tremor shook the sidewalk and he looked up to see Buffy's house shaking in it's foundation. "What the H. . ." He ran toward it praying as he went, "Please be ok, please be ok, please. . ."

He froze outside the window. His heart flying into his throat. Buffy was fine. Spike was too. They were fine together. She was riding him and both were moaning in pleasure and lost to the world. Neither heard the gut wrenching sob from the boy on the other side of the broken window pane. And neither saw the face of the man they called friend crumble like a demolished dream. Xander backed up, eyes never leaving Spike's wonderfully happy face until the house blocked it from view. Then he ran. He ran until he could see his apartment building and then slowed down to a walk and fought to rein his agony in. The children had loved Spike too. They'd lost a daddy. Xander had only lost a hope.

The kids were not blind.

The minute their daddy walked in the children knew that something was wrong. He smelled like misery. "Dad?" Ssol walked forward only to be crushed in a 'human'-bone crushing hug. The Garkreshin hugged his Xan-daddy back carefully, knowing that humans were fragile creatures. Finally Xander collapsed right there. On the floor. He just couldn't stand up anymore.

Essej and Yrral helped him to the bedroom and looked on worried. "What happened Ssol?"

"He was so sad! His heart was screaming pain and I couldn't make it better." The demon looked away, "So I told him to sleep."

"He needs sleep. You did the right thing."

"Why did. . ."

"Daddy is strong." The youngest sniffed, "He's a good human. No one can make daddy hurt out loud."

Ssol blinked, "No one but the pack." He smoothed back Xander's hair, "And Wil."

"But Spike loves daddy doesn't he? Isn't that what 'mates' means?"

"Mates doesn't mean it when Spike daddy uses it. It just means friends."

"Is Xan-daddy gonna die?"

Ssol stood up and stomped to the door, "This kind of pain doesn't kill you." He growled and ripped it open. "They are NOT hurting our daddy again!"

"Ssol!" The other two cried out but Ssol was gone.

"He's going to face the slayer!"

"Daddy Spike won't let. . ."

"But the Buffy lady is with him!"

Yrral's eyes widened and he began to shake Xander in earnest, "Dad! Wake up! Daddy!"

"What kind of sleep did Ssol put him in?"

"I'm scared Yrral!" Essej sobbed.

Yrral held his little brother and kept a brave front, but he was shaking. Xan-Dad, please wake up before Ssol. . . He buried his face in his brother's hair, "Daddy."

Willow's eyes shot to the store front when the bell rang once and then embedded itself in the wall next to her head, "Where are they?!"

The witch backed up slowly and tried not to freak. No freakage going on there. 'eight year old kid' sized demon, just a nice human sized demon with silver white hair and eyes with catlike slits and silver scales. Nice demon, not really big claws, lizard tail, nothing to worry ab. . .

"WHERE?!"

Sharp fangs, lots of sharp fangs, oh shit shitshitshitshitshit! Ok now I'm freaked. Willow looked around for a stake or any weapon, nothing. "Um who? I. . . Giles and. . . I mean, I don't. . ."

"The slayer and the vampire."

Giles ran into the main room when he heard the noise and tried to chant a spell but he was suddenly struck mute.

"My daddy wanted to die because of them. Daddy never gives up! What did he see?! Where are they!"

"Ssol!"

He swung around and saw Yrral and Essej run into the shop doors. "He's ok Ssol. He just needs to sleep! Calm down!"

Willow blinked as the three almost identical demons hugged each other and her assailant began to cry. No freakage here she thought softly, What did Buffy and Spike do to them?

The door opened again and Buffy and Spike both made their entrance. Buffy's hand went for a stake but Spike stopped her, "Boys? Where's your daddy? What happened?"

They backed away and Willow saw hurt flash across Spike's eyes.

The slayer had put the stake away and looked at Spike, "You know them?"

"These Whelps' Daddy's me mate."

"Don't say that!" Ssol and his brothers screeched in tandem. "Don't say that unless it's true."

Spike took an involuntary step back, eyes wide. They had never yelled like that before. It was like they'd suffered some horrible los. . . "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"Why would he be ok?! You crushed him! You are uninvited from our house. You're a bad man!"

Spike's heart sank. Sure he was bad, but he loved the whelps almost like his own! Why. . .

The door shattered as it was banged against the wall once again, "Guys!"

"Xander!"

Willow smiled but he didn't come to them, he ran to the demons and knelt on the floor at their feet, hugging their waists, "You're not staked! Oh thank god you're ok!"

"Daddy!" They returned his hug and the slayer and slayerettes could only watch in shock, Spike in pain that he was no longer accepted by them.

"Don't you EVER do that the me again! Do you know how worried I was! Do you have any idea what you just put me through?!"

Willow blinked and looked at Buffy. "He sounds like my mom."

Buffy nodded.

The chocolate eyed boy hugged the three demons even tighter, "My babies. God I can't lose you! It would kill me to lose you guys!"

"Us too daddy." They knelt on the floor with him and almost bowled him over with hugs and cuddles, "We're sorry."

The sound of a throat clearing caused Xander to look up. When did the scooby gang get here? Oops. "Um. . . hi guys."

"Xander what is going on?"

"Well I. . . uh. . . that is. . ." He looked up and froze. "Spike."

"Oh no you don't! Not my fault ya daft git!"

The slayerette bit the inside of his cheek until it bled. Spike. Buffy and Spike. Oh God. He stood up and walked out, his three. . . whatever they were walking behind him.

Willow's eyes followed him. He had looked broken! Xander didn't break! He was the strong one. She looked at the others and finally registered how close Buffy and Spike were standing to each other. And that both had blotches on their necks. "Buffy." Her voice sounded so small!

"Xander's finally gone off the deep end." Buffy breathed. "what happened?"

"You did Buffy." Willow blinked back tears.

"What? What did I do?"

"You don't remember." The witch sat against the counter and buried her face in her hands, "Poor Xander!"

"What? What don't I. . ."

"THINK Buffy."

The blond stepped back and blinked.

"Xander trusted us with a secret two years ago. What was it?"

"Secret crush." She answered without hesitation.

"Who, Buffy."

The slayer stiffened and her eyes darted to Spike, then to Willow. The witch nodded. "Oh no."

Spike was getting really impatient, "Will someone tell me what's going on?!"

"I. . . I slept with. . . and Xander . . ." Her face was so hopeless!

"Don't worry slayer, only one you slept with in a week is me. C'n smell it I can."

The hopeless face became stricken and Spike's mouth dropped. "Shit."

And the slayer cried.

Part Four

Spike wandered down the streets of Sunnydale in a daze. After Willow's announcement he couldn't just stand there any longer. The Whelp loves me. Me. I was the demon in the cemetery. I was the one he was all broken up for. I was the reason he wanted to die. The vampire fought down the icky feeling creeping through his body. I should be proud that I managed to cause all this damage even with the chip. . . but Xander. . . I don't want to hurt him. I like the bloody whelp! He's. . . he was my friend.

Without realizing he had come to stand in front of Xander's apartment complex. Blue eyes lifted to the Slayerette's windows and he watched the play of shadows behind the curtains while Xan got his kids ready for bed. I used to help him do that. I was a part of that.

But it wasn't his problem! So the whelp had a stiff bit for him, it wasn't his fault the brat was so damned unlucky with all the girls he'd been with! It wasn't his fault the kid liked him more than he'd thought. I have Buffy! The woman I've been after since the start of this whole bloody mess. I slept with her. Fucked her through the floor I did! Literally!. . . but. . . She never smiled like sunshine at me. Never told me she loved me. Never let me be a part of her family. . . but that isn't what I wanted from her!

The shadows gathered on the bed and Xander's voice carried through the open window, "Time to sleep now guys."

"One story daddy?" They were talking in tandem again. Spike felt a smile form over his face in spite of himself.

"Then you'll sleep?"

Little Essej's voice peeped up, "After a song?"

Xander was smiling, the vampire could hear it in his voice. "A story 'and' a song? I don't know. I think I'll need some extra goodnight hugs for that."

Giggles wafted over the night air to the man below and Spike could picture the four of them wrestling for hugs and messing the neat bedding.

"Now we have to make to bed again!" Xander sighed in mock exasperation.

More giggles and rustling of cloth followed, "Now what story do you want to hear."

"When you found out you loved Wil-daddy."

"Essej!" The other two yelled at him.

"Shh, it's ok." Xander was slipping into story telling mode. "It didn't happen all at once. Not like love at first sight. It started off as admiration. Spike was always so calm and cool and he acted like he knew exactly what he wanted and the world had better give it to him or else."

"That's Wil-Daddy!" Ssol giggled.

"I was watching him, to try to teach myself how to be that sure of everything, that's when I started to notice how blue his eyes are, and how his skin is the color of marble, and how his hair curls behind his ears. And I started to want him. To be close to him. It was a long time after, Spike got hurt and came to live with me. He wasn't a bad guy any more. . . well, at least he couldn't kill us, but I wanted to be careful anyway, so I tied him up."

"To a chair!"

"Hey! Who's telling this story?"

More giggles and Spike found himself giggling too.

"While he was living with me I realized that behind his beauty and calm, he was a really fun guy. He likes good music, he's got a great sense of humor, and soon, when I was around him, my whole body felt safe. It felt like Spike made me whole. And all other sorts of mushy grown up feelings."

"When did you know you loved him?"

Xander didn't speak for a while and Spike thought he might not answer. Then the voice rose again. "When Buffy started dating Riley, and we found out he was from the group that hurt Spike. I would have given everything I was to take the pain and fear and rage off of Spike's face. That's when I realized I loved him. Of course, I could never tell him. It's not that he's a vampire, it's that he's in love with Buffy. I couldn't take that away from him."

"But Buffy lady knew you loved him?"

"I had to tell her. He was hurt and the sun was going to come up. She told me to leave him. I got really angry and shouted it out."

"But Wil-daddy was knocked up!"

Spike choked and Xander chuckled, "Knocked out. He was knocked out."

"Will he ever come back daddy?"

"Yrral, if he's in love with Buffy then he's happy now. I would never take that away. That's what real love is all about. Wanting your loved ones to be happy."

"We're happy daddy."

Once again Spike could hear Xander's smile. "Then so am I."

"Even if your heart is broken?"

The smile faded a bit. "Even if my heart is broken."

"Sing us a song now daddy."

Spike almost spoke out loud, Oh no you don't mate, you'll get it stuck in your head again!

"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. . ."

"Daddy!"

Spike couldn't take anymore. He walked away from the apartment building and the giggles and songs and stories, and went home to his crypt. So I'm not a part of the family anymore, so what? It isn't like I wanted to be. I was just distracting m'self! He flopped down in the tomb and let his shoulders droop. "I was."

The next night, everyone gathered at the magic box. Officially it was a research party, but really they just wanted to know what Xander was doing with the three demons. When the whelp walked in Spike stepped back into the shadows, forgotten by everyone present. The kids trailed in behind him, nervous about meeting the people from their daddy's bedtime stories.

"Xander!" Buffy ran to him and hugged him tight, "I am so sorry! I really forgot! God I've been so messed up lately I. . ."

"It's ok Buffy." He smiled, "Really."

"Xan. . ."

"I'm good. The kids are taking care of me." He stood between the three large demons and smiled, "This is Ssol, Yrral, and Essej. My kids."

"Garkreshin." Giles' eyes were wide. "Garkreshin demons are very solitary creatures, a mother is with her children until the death. How did you. . . ?"

"The death part happened early for their mom. They'd just been born. I rescued her from one of those slimy pink tentacle things. . ."

"Bogyreate." Giles offered automatically.

"Yeah the Booger rats."

The kids giggles and Xander grinned at then and held them close. "She was dying and she told me where her babies were and asked me to take care of them."

"So you did."

"Of course."

"How many years have you hidden this Xander?!" Willow asked in shock.

"Four."

"Four years. You've been living with three demons for four years and we never knew?!"

"You've been preoccupied."

"For four years?"

Xander shrugged.

Willow didn't let him off that easily. She looked at him with her puppydog eyes and sobbed, "We haven't been very good friends, have we."

He shook his head, "You're great friends Wills. It's not like we never do anything together, you just don't come home with me or anything."

Giles was the one to put them back on track. "And the Garkreshin?"

He blushed, "They're my babies. I didn't want to overwhelm them with all of you asking about them and questioning me and them. I knew you'd love them after you got to know them, but I didn't want to put them through all of this."

"Then they found us instead." Willow pointed out.

The three boys swayed a little and blushed then spoke in tandem, "Sorry."

Giles blinked, "Extraordinary."

Yrral froze and Ssol and Essej turned with him to face the shadows Spike was hiding in. "Wil-daddy."

"'ey whelps. Thought I'd see 'ow you were gettin' along."

All three of them backed to stand in front of Xander and glared at the blond vampire. "Leave."

"Guys!" Xander admonished, "Spike's part of the gang. He can be here if he wants to be."

"No!" They were upset now, talking in tandem again. "He's a bad man!"

"We talked about this." He sat them down on the couch and crouched in front of them. "Everything that happened was my own fault. Spike had no idea how I felt. He wasn't being a bad man. He can be happy now." The last was said in a whisper, but Spike caught it. And he felt horrible.

"Are you?" Yrral demanded. "Are you happy that you aren't our daddy anymore?"

Essej looked up with tears in his eyes. "Are you glad daddy's being sad so you can be happy?"

Ssol wouldn't even look at him when he spoke, "Are you happy you have your Buffy kisses now? And all daddy has is one Spike kiss?"

Xander shot up and gathered the boys together. "This was a bad idea. Come on guys. We're going home."

Spike growled. "Wait!"

He froze. Shit!

"What is this about a Spike kiss?" He looked the whelp over carefully, "I never kissed you."

Willow gasped, Giles began cleaning his glasses furiously, and Buffy groaned, "You DIDN'T!"

"I. . . when Buffy came to you, after the Buffy Bot thing. . . it wasn't. . . it wasn't Buffy."

Spike's eyes were wide.

"You kissed him as me?!" Buffy grit her teeth.

"You were hurting so much I thought. . . if I could give you one thing to hold onto. . ."

"So you kissed me." an' let me 'ave that comfort while you took my pain.

Xander nodded once then ushered the kids outside. "I'll uh. . . I'll see you guys later."

The door closed and the scoobies began talking a mile a minute. . . and Spike stood staring at the place Xander had stood. For ten minutes, maybe more, all he could do was stare. 'E loved me tha' much? 'E really is a white 'at.

~Are you glad daddy's being sad so you can be happy?~

No. No I'm not.

~Are you happy that you aren't our daddy anymore?~

Course not! Being a part of that was the best feeling I've ever. . . had. He blinked in realization. "I love 'im."

"What?" Willow turned and asked Spike, "Did you say something?"

"Bloody 'ell. When did. . . How did I miss. . ."

"Spike?" Buffy asked him cautiously.

"I 'ave to go see Xan-pet!" He sped through the words and ran out the door leaving the scoobies once again in shock.

"What was that all about?" Giles wondered out loud.

Willow smiled.

Buffy smirked, "Looks like Spike finally got a clue."

"Do you think Xander will listen to him?"