Warning: Kinky sex

Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine and the special Spike mentions was actually aired on TV Jan 4th 2002

Archive: Of course, just tell me where and link back to me.

C&C will fuel yet more insanity. Please Respond!

And Now For Something Mildly Disturbing


Xander was exhausted. He had just finished moving into his own apartment and gotten promoted at work. To the mascot. Yes he was now Tom the tomcat for healthy kitty cat food at Pet Supplies R Us. The ragged and sweaty boy flopped down heavily on his couch and groaned. He was even to bushed to take the fussy animal costume of. All he could do was remove the head and relax still wearing the full body faux fur suit.

Who ever thought being an animal could be so exhausting?! Humans weren't meant to wear fur I know that much. No wonder they paid me three more dollars an hour! Shit! Sleep. Need sleep and air conditioning. Well one of two isn't bad.

Three minutes later he was asleep sitting up and still dressed in the costume.

The streets of Sunnydale were just falling to darkness when a bleached blond vampire exited the cemetery and made his way toward the apartment he'd lugged Xander's meager possessions to the night before. The whelp had kicked him out when he had to prepare for work actin' all embarrassed an' shit and Spike wanted his blood now. Giles had given all of it to Nummy when he'd taken Spike in on an open ended arrangement. In other words, they were stuck together.

"Harmony won't let my live in me own crypt anymore, I'll room with the whelp." He snorted. Wonder if vampire chickies can still get PMS because she's suffering it chronic like. . . maybe she was turned during that time o' the month and now it won't go away. That would explain a lot!

He knocked once, twice, no answer. "Well I got me an invite and I'm not waitin' in the bloody hallway." He groused and picked the lock with ease. "Oi! Whelp! I'm. . . what the Hell?"

There sitting upright on the couch was Xander. Decked out in a cartoonish fur cat suit like one of them Chucky cheese creatures and sleeping like the dead. "Got a promotion. This is a promotion? No wonder he got all nervous when I tried ta stay."

The human's nose wrinkled cutely and Spike grinned. "Wakey wakey pet."

"Hmm. . . Spike?"

The pale Englishman straddled the fur covered legs and leaned forward into the likewise covered lap. "Mornin' kitten."

"Whad'r you doing?"

Blue eyes glittered and he grinned, "Saw a wonderful special on the telly the other day."


He grinned wider, Xan-pet was not a morning person in the least. That made this even more fun though. "Was on MTV. Sex something or other. Had to check it out with a name like that."

"What are you talking about?"

"This episode was all about these blokes 'o get off on humping people wearing big fur suits. 'lot like this one you 'ave." He rocked in the human's lap and chuckled when he felt something harden beneath the suit. "Bought 'em jus' for this. Had some great footage of the deed. Actually looked real nice in a twisted kinda way."

"Spiiiiiike." Xander groaned, "We. . . you. . . what are you doing?!"

"Seems right obvious that does."

"Care to enlighten me then?"

"I'm seducing you whelp!"

"Oh is that what you call it?"

"What the fuck do you think I've been trying to do for the last month?!"

"Mock me?"

"Hardly." Spike rolled his eyes, "You don't sound upset."

"Well you're the evil undead, but I think we can work it out."

"I'm a bloke too. You ever shagged a bloke before?"

"Yeah. Twice actually. Probably why I'm not freaking out now."

"Anyone I know pet?"

Xander blushed and gasped as Spike's rocking pressed the faux fur body suit against his now rock hard cock, "A. . . a guy in high school, the night before graduation. larry. H. . . he was one. He d. . . oooh do that again! He died in the fight."

"And the other?"

"Ever wonder w. . . why I hate Angel so much?"

Spike stopped still. "Because he had a hardon for Slutty?"

Xander rolled his eyes, "Because he fucked me for a month before she even knew who he was, and then left me for her."

"You have really bad luck with relationships don't you love."

"You could say that." He looked at Spike carefully. "I'm not going through that again Spike."

Blue eyes stared at him carefully.

"If this is just sex then get off my lap. If you want more then sex then start moving again because you're driving me crazy."

Spike groaned and slid up against Xander's hardness again. "No problem pet."

The human fumbled at the suit and opened a hole to release his cock and balls and got a full body shiver at the feel of the fur covered paw mits on his package. He could see why some people would like this! Kinky much! A cold mouth slid over the throbbing need to the root, throat muscles contracting and urging Xander into a frenzy. "Goooooood! Mmmm! Spike!"


"If you break my heart I. . . I'll kill you."

The vampire chuckled around Xander's rod and the human lost it and shot into the vampire's mouth. "Nice pet." Spike looked up and chuckled. "You look bloody hot."

"You try getting all hot and sweaty in a suit like this. Help me out of it will ya?"

"I think I've found a new kink." The vampire grinned and slid a hand under to Xander's ass. "This thing have a back door too?"

"Yeah wh. . . OH!"

Fangs gleamed in a full toothy smile, "Very considerate of the chaps 'at made this thing now wasn't that?" He pulled the costumed boy into his lap and lifted the flap, fingering the tiny bud open and slipping one slick finger inside.


"Always liked kittens."

"Well then you wear the suit next time." He panted.

"Next time eh? Why Xander do I detect a fetish?"

"Spike! Shut up and fuck me!"

"Ooh kitten's got grr. Should I look out for claws? Teeth?" He finished preparing the boy and slammed hard into him.


"Let's see if I can make kitty purr."

"Ahhhh! Spike! Fuck!"

"Yeah pet, 's what I'm doing."

"Spike if I. . . If we destroy this costume I'm gonna get fired again!"

"'s washable luv. Ung! Yeah! Gods, you're so hot!"

The vampire jackhammered faster and faster in and out of his human until both of them stiffened and groaned as they released their seed. Spike fell heavily back into the couch and Xander sat back into his lap. "Spike."

"Yeah pet?"

"You are one fucked up corpse."

"Thank you."

"Think you could get me outta this thing now?"

"And why'd I do that pet?"

The chocolate eyed boy grinned, "Because I'm very flexible without it on."


"And I have a copy of the homosexual kama sutra under my bed that I've been dying to try out with you."

The human had never seen a vampire move as fast as Spike did then. Now this was a good exhausted. He could live with this. And he could see a lot of kinks in their future.



"How do you feel about page 37?"

"God! I think I love you."

The blond pulled his new lover in for a kiss. "Feeling is mutual nummy. You get the extra top sheets I'll get the veggies."

Xander laughed and kissed the vampire again. "What's the broccoli fo. . . oh!" stared at the next page. "I might actually like broccoli from now on."

Spike wiggled his eye brows and Xander laughed.

Neither left the apartment the entire weekend.

And Xander's boss never did get the kitten costume back.

The End

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