Yes, I dare ask why Tallahassee should be physically embedded on one of yourspare brain cells. What follows is an uncomprehensive list of doodads and tidbits from a town that forgot to set the alarm clock and sometimes takes itself too seriously.

Questions? We have answers!

Are you wondering what this is all about? Simply, this is a listing of everything cool about Tallahassee. Updates should be getting into a weekly routine soon. Currently, I am uploading new information as I can get it written and finalized.

If you have any suggestions or additions, please e-mail me at chris@christopher.org.

This Just In

Florida's capitol now has an AMC theatre 20-plex movie theater. Yes, now Tallahasseeans can bathe in even more full feature film madness. And what better way to kick off such an event with a local news station passing out free cd's and t-shirts.

However, the only cd's given away was the "Take Pride In Tallahassee" disc. It features eight narratives and eight songs about Tallahassee's past, present, pride and future. Here's a sample from track two.

Tallahassee Politics: Sometimes a Good Thing.

Yes, Tallahassee is the capital of Florida. It is not, against popular belief, in Miami, Tampa, Orlando, or even St. Petersburg.

Tallahassee was the only Confederate capital east of the Mississippi River not to be captured by Union forces. Sometimes this is a Jeopardy TM question! (The other only capital? Austin, Texas.)

Serving out the state's will as well as Big Brother's. F. Lee Bailey, who represented O.J. Simpson, went to jail himself for a spell. Guess which federal correction instution he turned himself into? That's right! The Leon County Federal Correction Institute. As a side note...

The hit/cult TV show X-Files once had a show set in the very same jail. However, the writers of the show failed to realize that Tallahassee is a stones throw away from the jail in Leon County.

Filling out the wish list a tad early that year. It was the summer of 1991, Marshall Ledbetter wound up in our great state's capitol building, specifically the Senate Building, keeping the Police away for a while, specifically, five hours. What did he want? Specifically, beer, pizza, 666 doughnuts (possibly jelly), and a meeting with rapper Ice Cube and the now departed pro-brain alterer Timothy Leary.

"Hey, I thought it was the express lane." A Leon County Commissioner was caught shoplifting two shirts and four pairs of pants at the local Maas Brothers. His excuse? Just wanted to see an old friend walking by the store. (And, yes, he is still serving the public.)

The Movies. (Grab your popcorn.)

Now to get you riled, here is an obivious blooper for Dick Clark and Ed McMahan (cut me a check, guys). In Oliver Stone's The Doors, a journalist says to Morrison ("Jim" to his friends), "I know you went to the University of Florida in Tallahasse." Okay, Oliver, either you need a better researcher, or you gave Gainesville the biggest and only compliment it ever got.

Anyone who saw Gus Van Sant's To Die For last year (1995), was astounded by Nicole Kidman's performance of a star struck woman who would do anything to be famous. "You're nobody unless you're on television," she purrs to the camera. Well, this movie is based on Pam (Wojtas) Smart, a former DJ at WVFS the campus radio station at FSU. Mad About You and Twister star Helen Hunt also played the Pam Smart character in the TV movie "Murder in New Hampshire."

Tarzan at home in Tallahasse? You bet! The Lord of Graystoke and King of Jungle filmed two movies here. Well, actually at Wakulla Springs, which is twenty minutes from the State Capital Building. Other films made near Tallahassee were: Creature From the Black Lagoon, Airport 77, and actually filmed in Tallahassee, Something Wild starring Melanie Griffith, Jeff Daniels, and Ray Liotta.

Who said being a professor means you have no friends? Prof. Jim Roche has been in several Jonathan Demme films. You can see an example of Roche's work in Richard Linklater's Slacker. He's not acting, but the monalogue recited by a young man is total Roche.

Okay, it's your last year in film school, and you need money for your thesis film. What do you do? You get the school to pay for it! Well, that is if you go to FSU. So far they've underwritten five films, the highest number in the nation. Eat your heart out NYU!

For you prepubescent freaks, I've got a doozy of a fact. Matthew Smith, the director of the classic Sometimes at the Cherokee Sink once lived and breathed in Tallahassee. His other slasher hits include State of Ectasy and Skullface. (Grotesque violence, a genre unto itself.)

A Sundance Film Festival winner is actually living here in Tallahassee. Victor Nunez (director), who won for Ruby in Paradise, is now working on a movie with Peter Fonda called Ulee's Gold on the coast.

I'd give you a Jim Carey/Tallahassee fact if I cared, but it's pretty far fetched and we just wanted to use his name for the mileage. "Jim Carrey." "Jim Carrey." "Jim Carrey." Ahh. Much better.

Need to take your girl somewhere special? Try the Cactus Motel. Carol Burnett did in Rob Altman's film The Wedding. She tells a fellow actor, "My cousin owns the Cactus Motel in Tallahassee. Meet me there." What a step for Women's Lib! Carol uttered those words in 1972. (Yes, it actually exists.)

Those Musical B-Sides

Bored? Is that question driving around in your head again? You know that one about what songs have Tallahasse in the title? Well, put down that aspirin! I'm gonna give you some relief. Out of all the songs with Tallahassee in the title, these are the most memorable: "Tallahassee Blues" by bluesman Tallahassee Tight and "Tallahassee Lassie" which is cover by varied artists.

To stay on the jazz beat for a second, Sony's largest jazz contract holder is an FSU grad. Give it up for Marcus Roberts, jazz pianist.

Allman Brothers drummer Butch Trucks once lived in Tallahassee. He also help start Pegasus Studios, a music studio sometimes used by the FSU Film School.

Ever wonder what rhymes to Sassafrassee? Try Tallahasse, Aerosmith did in there hit "Last Child". More than twenty songs mention Tallahassee in the lyrics, most notably by Athe aforementioned, Aerosmith ("Last Child"), also Bob Dylan ("Knocked Down Loaded") and Johnny Cash ("Wanted Man").

Meat Loaf, the musician, released a track, "Whatever Happened To Saturday Night", he recorded in Tallahassee. The track can be found on the single "I'd Lie For You (And That's the Truth)". Honest.

Did you ever get thrown into the drunk tank, otherwise known as jail, after you went Tennessee waltzing*? Jim Morrison did. He totally threw himself into school. Just like every other FSU student.

*Tennesee waltzing refers to the nightly escapades that students take along a bar strip on Tennesee St. across from FSU.

The Schools and the Meaning of It All.

If you want to get into a kick ass theatre program, apply to FSU's theatre school. It's been ranked in the top ten theatre schools by U.S. News and World Report.

"Let your sons grow up to be clowns." Your parents wanted you to go to college and you wanted to join the circus. Luckily for you that you attended FSU. The Flying High Circus is the absolutely only collegiate circus in the U.S.

Always wanted to go to Berkley? Well, FSU has a nickname other than party school numero uno. It was once dubbed "Berkley of the South" in the sixties. Our parents skipped class and held their own classes, or "teach ins", on the Union Green. So, tell them to lay off and send cash.

"You can't handle the truth." A FSU law school student designed a murder plot of a law school secretary. The secretary was scheduled to testify that the student cheated on an exam. To get the killing done right, the law student contacted her nearest hit man, who in reality was an undercover agent.

Who would make this stuff up?

We swiped the Aerosmith "Last Child" soundclip from their Greatest Hits compact disc (read: not their Big Ones release). Aerosmith is owned and leased by Sony Music Entertainment. "Last Child" was written by S. Tyler and B. Whitford and is 3 minutes and 27 seconds long.

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