As I sit here with my head in other places my heart is hurting its like the big
white light that you have always heard about when your time is just about up. I
am so confused and in dismay that I just dont no what to do anymore I can't make
anyone happy not even myself so I sit here and think of a way to set my spirit
free yes this is my bipolar talking but its what i feel in my heart is the best
thing to do As I ponder and look around the room I wonder what life would be
like if I weren't in it anymore I am having so many troubles wonders and thoughts
that its just filling my head full and running down into my heart I dont no
which way to go and dont no what to do If I could get through all this how
long would it take to come back and torment me again. I just keep going back
to the same thing over and over Denise I love you so much but, I keep putting
you and the boys through so much and it really makes me feel bad cause I have
no self control. as you know I have so many problems that are not treated
and I dont really no if I could sit down and talk to someone face to face
about my problems and tell them what is going on not even you. So I dont no
if i will ever be able to be cured, I really wish my life would hurry up
and tick away so I could set my spirit free. And be at peace I have always
had problems from a very young age but it seems like it got 10 times worse
when momma died and I just cant let go. Its not her fault its all mine I am
so messed up inside that is turning everything about me ugly. Thank you for
coming to myspace. Here you will learn all about me: My interests which
include: Building web sites, meeting new people online and learning to
play a musical keyboard which used to take all of my time I don't even
practice that much any more I recently made myself a linix box but I haven't
messed with it to much I just cant seem to find time for that LOL. I was
gonna use that for a while instead of using windows just to try to learn
something new. I am always up for a challenge just to see if I can do it or not.
Also you will learn about my hobbies, which consist of: Working on
cars building computers from the ground up and camping but mostly spending time
on the net LOL some life I have huh. I might even put some pictures of my ugly ass
on here not that you would want to look at that. I might even put a list of my
favorite links to other sites such as my daughters website that never took her
first breath into this world. That i have made myself or some that I just enjoy
going to from time to time. Hi my name is Mike, I currently live in Louisville, Ky
I am originally from Owensboro, Ky I live in Louisville now because me and my
wife split up for a while about 4 years ago and she went on about her merry little
way and started over she moved here with some friends that she met on the internet
and wound up supporting them and there 3 kids I was a over the road truck driver
at that time when we finally got back together I told her I didnt want them
living with us but, Guess what they continued living with us for another 3 years
and by that time they could not hold down a job so we continued supporting them
and by this time they had 2 more kids and I could not deal with it any longer
we seperated again but just to take a break away from the LOOSERS But I wasn't
gonna make her move back home because that would not be fair to her after
finding a new job and a new home and she is now going to school to be a nurse
which the job that she is working at is paying for this for her so I didnt
wanna jeperdize that so that is the reason I now live in Louisville. I am 33
years old I am 6'1" tall dark complected I have really thick hair I am a
nice person for the most part but I think that there is something wrong with
me like I have multiple personallity's or a mood disorder or something but
we deal with it and go on. I am not a real big talker or anything so for
the most part if you didn't no me you would think that I was a very boring
person but if you was to get to know me you would think differant
(I hope LOL) My reasons for building this web site is just because I can. I
have put a picture of myself on this page...and I may put other pictures that
I especially like. By the way I am a fuckin FREAK I can not live without sex.
It is good in any shape form or fashion or postion there is no wrong way to have
sex the only wrong way to have sex is not to have sex. OMG did I just tell that
to the world ILMAO OH WELL if ya don't like it hit that big red X up in your top
right hand corner and never darken my page again if ya dont have a problem with
it well good for you. You might have just found a friend for a lifetime.
Here is something to think about:
Several days before I was to die A white dove flew into my garden. It
had one black spot on its tail, As if a drop of ink had soiled Its purity.
It looked at me As birds do: head sideways, Neck twisted, almost upside
down; Then went the other way, fluttered, Cooed, straightened, and stared
at me With more than human stillness. Our eyes Met, and I felt some
understanding Pass between us, as if it sensed I was to die and felt
compassion. And then I knew that I would live. Weeks after my miracle
The dove returned, nesting near me, An ordinary bird. Of course I hold
it dear. But who lived in Its eyes? Whose compassion sent The silent
thoughts that turned my will? I know my own imagination May have spoken
through the bird, Lifting me from death. But surely What we'll never
understand Far surpasses what we know. The dove knows more than we.
And I, Returned from death, am like a boulder Lifted up and left upon
the shore By some majestic wave.
