i don't know what's up with you bro. Tim tells me youre having a halloween party and you tell me its not happening. Then I check your facebook and you got pictures from it. If you dont want to be tight bro come straight and tell me it aint like i havent been stabbed in the back before.

http://www02.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=061018212229-966943

I suppose it is time for your monthly update about my life. As always my life continues to be shittier and shittier. I have even moved deeper and darker into more subcultures trying to find something that makes me happy for more than ten minutes. I do not see this happening. I have joined the fetish world and I am supposed to be learning how to be a dominant’s subdominant in that whole dominatrix sort of thing. My friends have already lined me up a teacher but I am not sure if I wish to follow through with this or not. I do know that when I am in a relationship with a girl I tend to naturally let them control me. However, this whole fetish thing seems far outside my league considering how sexually inexperienced I am. Then there was this weekend when mass amounts of fucked up shit happened. Friday I went to the cyber rave and then to the spring 4th after party and then back to my fetish friends house where I had to take care of the house and watch over people I wanted to annihilate till the master of the house came back. At this point we found out one of the girls that came over was actually kidnapped and brought to the house by people we had kicked out. Thankfully I had invited my friend and his girl over and they knew the kidnapped girl relatively well. Then I finally made it to my house and set up for the house party. Now this is were things take a bad turn for me. The party was incredibly fun and I am thankful for all that showed up and had fun. However at some point I ended up swallowing 25 pills of ecstasy and a large amount of hallucinogenic mushrooms as well as a couple doses of 2CI and about 10 xannaies. This did not kill me but it did have a lasting effect on my psyche. I would not normally take this much and I know that but for some reason when I was having the most fun I have had in three or four years my dark side came out and I suppose I tried to kill myself and would have succeeded had there been more drugs in the house. As of now I am trying to figure everything out and live to see tomorrow TOODLES.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: disorented
Current Music: Taishi - Mind Is Going

How to make a taishi

Ingredients: 1 part jealousy 3 parts brilliance 3 parts leadership

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!

So yah I have been busy working my ass off overtime and going to school. Other that that I have been trying to help my friends through some pretty trying times

TK - Love you girl please call me if you need it and I promise you dont iratate me.

Jess - I love you girl and I’m sorry some of your older friends can’t cope with you having new ones too. I am having the same problem with miss autumn. As a matter of fact she called me on my way home from dropping you off and said, “I’m being replaced by jess. Now you arent so sweet to me anymore you are only sweet to jess”

So this weekend I spent working long 8+ hour shifts and spent time with obi, rob, tk, and baron. This equaled no sleep for me till last night. That also had to be amusing for jess since I kept spacing out and almost passing out with her on the phone. She is such an awesome girl

So today I spent going to classes and hanging out with jess. After our classes we went to eat chinese food and sushi with lourdes and travis. That was fun. Then we went to the mall to buy her some clothes and a wallet since she kept losing her check card. Not that buying her a wallet did any good. Ten minutes after buying it we went to panera and she left it at the counter. Heh. Then we went back to her place and she showed me her art which was quite good. I also took a look at her music collection which was quite interesting. Then I left the garlic butter she made from scratch for me on her kitchen counter *insert sad crying face here*

Then I came home to an email from danielle. Don’t know what I think about that yet or if i even believe the words she wrote. Only time will tell. It would be easier to tell if she called and said that stuff but what can you do. I am sure shes afraid to call me again after i hung up and yelled at her multiple times

I almost forgot. I have been asked to write the music to an independent film that the film club at my college is making. I am so stoked about this.

Current Location: Home For Once
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Simon Holmes - Rave Be Good To Me

Agamemnon 66% Extroversion, 46% Intuition, 44% Emotiveness, 100% Perceptiveness

Arrogant, combative, unscrupulous, cunning... You are most like Agamemnon, King of Mycenae. You are an extreme prick, and you're proud of it. You are always assessing your opponents, looking for their weaknesses and the perfect moment to obliterate them completely. The only thing that earns your respect is their abililty to trump you, but you make sure that never happens. You are concerned with the here and now, and not with people and their feelings and certainly not with theory and navel-gazing. You wear a tie to work. You are adept at reading people. You don't take issue with established procedures and rules on a theoretical basis, but will have no compunction about throwing them to the wind if they get in your way. Even though you are primarily concerned with results, and can often get them quickly, your contempt of the more analytical and detached types might be your undoing (they are very smart, and can be even more cunning than you, even if you won't admit it). You pride yourself on your risk-seeking nature, your fast thinking, and your ability to get results. You could probably go into business. Famous people like you: Attila the Hun, Ghengis Kahn, Boudicca, Vortigern, Charlemagne. Stay clear of: Civilization

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion You scored higher than 99% on Intuition You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

This week has been really long and I have had an enormous lack of sleep. It has gotten so bad that twice now on two different days I have fallen asleep on the highway only to wake up going 80 mph in the dirt. The wierdest part is its right after I wake up and as all of you should know I snap awake with a clear head in .001520 seconds. You esspecially know this if you ever call me on the phone while I'm asleep.

So this week has been like this School >work >Jace's house to watch it >Sleep for an hour > Repeat

It has definately been a long but the money is good and needed. I have already worked 45 hours this week since sunday and I have another 8+ tomorrow. So tonight I am gonna go have some fun because I do not get to do that so much anymore. As of now all the rules I had put on myself (this was done to make certain people happier) I am throwing out the window. Fuck it. I dont have much free time to enjoy life right now so when I get the chance you better believe I am gonna be living it up. If you dont like it you can piss off. END OF STORY.

Current Location: My computer for the first time in a week
Current Mood: naughty
Current Music: Simon Holmes - Rave Be Good To Me

So this weekend wow its been incredible. I started it off by going to school and meeting up with will to give him the dub plates he needed for the show. Then I went home to eat and shower and get ready for work.

Work was awesome. I love my job alot. Everyone seems to love me and they are all very nice. I learned about end caps on friday which are just the displays that we design at the end of the isles.

From work I went home to change and then went to pick up jace. We got to cyberraver at 9:30 walked in got given a special badge. Evil Z called it the life time achiecement badge he gave it to me because of all the help I gave him booking Jace and X-Ray for Cyberraver 5.

Will went on at 10 he did fucking amazing. He stole the entire crowd from the main room to his room and played dubplate after dubplate. The crowd ate it up and went crazy. The only time the crowd left was when they needed to refil their drinks. He made maybe two mistakes which is phenominal since hes only played on cd turntables once before. The transition from vinyl to digital is a bit tough but he pulled it out. I spent his whole set screaming and jacking my fist and hyping the crowd up as best as I could. His new girlfriend even danced and that made me so happy. It is so nice to see him with a girl who treats him right and can enjoy him doing something he loved.

After will's set I did my thing. I helped my friends find what they needed and had a good time not paying any attention to the djs till Belrok came one with MC EVADE. They totally stole the show they played better than anyone else besides will(but I am biased). I spent their set hyping the crowd up and at the end of the set a huge chunk of the crowd was up on stage showing their love. Thats what I call Hardcore Massive. Belroks mother even got up there and cheered and watched her son do what he loves.

After that it was Omar Santana's turn and while he played a good set it was just a let down after Belrok and Evade. I spent the rest of the party mingling and being pulled in 20 different directions. Then I went home talked to Hikari and went to work

I talked to hikari again tonight and yah i dont ever want to talk to her again because she either doesnt say anything, tries to argue and fight, or treats me like I'm stupid and a piece of shit. Tonight she did all three. By the way, have fun lying to the shrink tomorrow and having them tell you you are fine. Have fun fucking cary and then crying about it the next day too.

Current Location: Home for a bit
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Stu chapmen - ill notes

So today has been simply awesome so far. I went to school today after doing something super sweet for Autumn. I downloaded a bunch of her favorite songs and all the songs from her favorite artist from iTunes and then put them on my iPod. Then I made a playlist with her name on it. I gave her the iPod when she got to school and she had the biggest grin. This made me feel wonderful. I did it for her because I thought she would like it. Also, we have a standing joke that my iPod was the best present my family ever bought her since she uses it much more than I do. I am glad she likes it so much it makes me feel good. I then hung out with everyone for a while. Found out the crush Jess still likes me but can't hang with my life style of doing the raver thing every weekend and the occasional drugs. That and she said, "I don't smoke or drink so as cute and sweet as you are we wouldn't really work" Then I had to comfort Reed for a while because he found out that his ex was telling us all not to talk to him while she is around so he won't come over (to this I say fuck off dani) and he found out that a week after they broke up she had a threesome with a friend of his and some chick. As for Dani telling me what I can do around her and how to treat my friends makes me say, "Fuck off I don't care to have you as a friend." After that and about ten cigarettes I went home.

I went home so early because I had a job interview at 2 p.m. This was the second interview for the store. I went in dressed nicely but soaked since it was raining. Thankfully the manager didnt care. Then we had the interview and my personality really shined she even told me that the staff and two assisant managers already love me. She also told me that I worked under her mother at my old pizza job and her mother had nothing but fantastic things to say about me. So she gave me the job and told me she really likes me too. I start tomorrow at 2 p.m. and I work till 8 p.m. I start off at 8.00 an hour which really isn't to shabby esspecially since I have no retail experience. She also informed me that since I am so heavily involved in the music scene here in Atlanta and since music is obviously a huge passion of mine that I'll be working weeknights and then on the weekends I will be working during the day. Also, she informed me that if I had a big project or a hard test or what not in school and i need some time off to study and work on it all I have to do is ask. She said, "At your age school comes first, then family, then work. I expect you to abide by that." I love the fact that she put family in there. So after work tomorrow I am going to pick up everyone then head to Cyberraver and then I am going to drop everyone off on the way home and depending on what time I have to go in saturday I am gonna either go home and sleep or shower and go to work."

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Butch Walker - Comfortably Numb

So I ended up not doing what I said I was going to do because Autumn wouldn't let me. She is awesome she seems to not hold grudges at all thats something I am not used to. I got to school two hours early so I could get a decent parking spot and went inside and sat down in a circle of couches with my ipod on. Autumn came and sat down and so did other people but I wasn't saying a word. Till she stood over me and pulled my earphone out and told me to take it out and talk to her. So I did. I then proceeded to be the typical me and say off the wall shit. I was informed by several people I am the craziest person they have ever met. They totally ment it in a good way. I proceeded to smoke alot of cigarettes and turn down weed because I have interviews this week. Then I went to class for the first time. My music apreciation teacher teaches her students like they are elementry school aged children learning about music for the first time. It is really irratating esspecially to me since This semester I wont learn a single thing since I know most of it from being a musician for fifteen years.

I have a second interview at world market tomorrow so I am really excited because I think I made a really good impression at the first one.

I found out I will be house sitting for Jace August 28th through September 5th which will be great because Ill get to play records on club quality turntables and ill be able to stay away from the internet which is great because I can't fricken stand the drama I read in my email or on the message boards anymore. I will prolly still update this thing even though nobody really reads it.

So friday is the big day that will gets to open for Omar Santana and I am kinda excited but at the same time I am not. I am excited because its FUCKING OMAR and because Will will get to play infront of a huge name dj. Thats great for him and for the Tartarus Sound Crew. However, I'm not excited because I am pretty sure Feral, Jason K, and Supa will be there and well I know they all hate me and I know its becuase of the shit that went down between me and JJ even though thats been cleared up. I am pissed though because I watched Jason go through a meth addiction and I accepted him back readily once he was clean and he treats me like this. I am also not excited about seeing JJ. Things are cleared up between me and him but I have only talked to him once since then and it just wasnt the same it was like we were complete strangers. That hurts me and what hurts me more is the fact that he thinks I would say shit about him when anyone who is my friend has never heard me say anything but good shit about him hell I have always defended him to my friends that either dont like him or think he is stuck up. Ohh well, atleast if he does come hopefully amy will come too. I really miss her and our talks. I think I miss that more than being so close to JJ. The problem with married people is when shit like this happens you cant have one with out the other. Ohh well atleast friday I am bringing lots of people I trust to surround myself with. Casey and david will be there. I am also bring will (he is playing so of course he'll be there ), Jace, Tim and Emily. I also know Zan, Bre, Zak (the promoter heh) teena, and adam sin will be there so hopefully i wont have to deal with the shitty people.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: numb
Current Music: Prodigy - Zeros and Ones

So I hung out with will last night and that was fun we ended up going to taco mac to visit jace. I was the DD. Then I got back to will's at 6am. I slept for an hour then went to school. The begining of the day was ok but then it just turned to shit. My mood flipped from ok to shitty. Then me and Autumn and I had a fight and I am still really mad about it. She kept pushing me to tell her what was wrong when I didnt know what was wrong. Then I got agigitated and when I get that way I get real negative. Well apparently me not being happy and me being grumpy is the same as treating her like shit. Maybe I did but I dont really know how. As for the crush on me I think it was just a lie that a little birdy told me. I hate this drama shit. When I go back to school tomorrow I am not talking to anyone I am gonna sit with my ipod blaring and go to class and soon as my classes are over I am gonna leave the campus. I think it will be better for me just to stay away from everyone because all I do is piss them all off. They will be better off without me. Besides, its not like they will miss me. There is other shit going on but last time I mentioned stuff like that on here I got chewed out and no sense getting chewed out again by someone who doesnt even want contact with me.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Part II