really sad part about noticing things in your life, is the regrets.
Regrets that these most obvious blessings went un-noticed until now.
I noticed a change in myself this week. Whether a change for the
better I leave that up to my goodly wife to decide. Long-suffering
is the bride of this man, for any who have known me for a time realise
that, unlike the faith that I profess, I am rather arrogant and
(I don't think one
exists without the other... or are they the same thing?)
Yet this week I found
myself not only seeking my spouses opinion, but doubting my own.
(To a man lacking in
humility, this is very humbling.)
A friend recently told
me, that lawn bowls have a bias, and that bias determines the direction of
the bowl. He went on to say, that as his bowl began to travel away
from its mark, he realised that his bias had been wrong. Amongst
much laughter it dawned on him, if the bias' in our lives are at odds with
our target, we shall find ourselves far from the mark.
I had laughed when he
related his story, as I envisioned the shock that must have appeared upon
his face, as his bowl disappeared into the distance. Other bowlers
must surely have found amusement at this wayward bowl. But then I
began to consider my own bias, toward others who do not agree with me on
certain subjects. Was my bias taking me far from the understanding
of their view, and if so, how do I then reconcile my conviction of a faith
that is in itself unbiased toward all.
And so I sought out my
wife's counsel, something that is in itself a rarity. As I listened
to her words, it was clear that our bias' differed greatly. Where
mine tends toward everyone loving the Lord, hers tends towards loving
everyone for the Lord. It was painfully obvious (painful to a proud
heart), that her bias was heaven breathed, whilst mine, though a lofty
thought, was just that, mine, not His.
Consequently I have
attempted to change my bias. Success or failure in this change is
largely dependent upon practise I suppose. Loving regardless, as He
has shown, as parents have shown, as the saints of old have shown, and
recently, as my wife has shown.
May God grant me the
grace to endure toward that humble mark.
Your Say on My Say