"Now, isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?"
-Stephen Colbert, "The Colbert Report"
"I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
-George Costanza, "Seinfield"
"Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity."
-Dante Hicks, "Clerks"
"I like a good bologna sandwich."
-George W. Bush, "Journeys With George"
"You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well Rambo was the best.
-Colonel Trautman, "Rambo"
"Hey sexy momma, wanna kill all humans?"
-Bender, "Futurama"
"Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man."
-Peter Griffin,"Family Guy"
"That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt."
-Fry, "Futurama"
"We don't live in Shouldland. Ahhh, Shouldland, where clean-cut kids cruise Shouldland Boulevard, and the Shouldland High football team gets their optimistic asses kicked by their cross-town rival, Reality Check Tech."
-Stan Smith, "American Dad"