Apollo
18
From atop the Saturn V launch pad gantry
the ocean fanned out in an azure dream. We were packed into the capsule like
baby birds in their nest. I gazed up through the window of our capsule and saw
the moon pale as a ghost in the ethereal sky, so I knew we were pointed the
right way. My wife was squeezed between me and Gordon. I felt butterflies in my
stomach as my wife, Rochelle, reached over and patted my chest through my space
suit with her gloved left hand. The reality of where I was and where we were
going dawned in my mind. This wasn’t a training session and we were on our way
to the moon. The rocket we were atop felt alive and had the precision of a
watch. Its systems all had to coordinate exactly or else this would be a short
ride.
The final systems checks had been
completed and the rocket was on complete internal power now. Count down was
seconds away from ending when I felt the mighty giant begin to shake as the
engines powered up. I glanced out the window and watched the launch tower
recede as Rochelle gave me a thumb’s up.
We were at four G’s and passing over the
My mind drifted back to the present. Our
command module, the Gaia, had entered earth orbit, so we went through our check
list of operations to perform. We approached the lunar module for docking,
which looked like a spider lost in the infinity of space hovering above the
clouds of earth where I longed to return.
Our path took us over
We fired the trans-lunar injection burn,
and I realized now that we were really headed for the moon. This was no
training exercise. As we reached speeds faster than any humans before the moon
missions had I felt a lump in my throat. We had shed our space suits now, so I
floated over the Rochelle and she hugged me with a smile so ecstatic I could
feel the warmth of it deep down. We kissed as Gordon smiled watching us.
Gordon said, “Excuse me. Sorry if I’m
interrupting you two.” We looked over at him and laughed, while Rochelle
proceeded to caress my scalp, as I massaged her back. Gordon looked out the
window saying, “I’ll give you two some privacy,” as he stared out the window
into space.
Rochelle reached around and grabbed me on
the bottom, and said, “Say sailor, want to have some fun?”
Gordon said, “Jeez, you two. We’ve got
work to do.” As Gordon was the mission commander we had no choice but to
comply.
The earth became smaller and smaller out
of our window and I never got bored as I gazed at it while daydreaming of our
splash down in the
Rochelle whispered, “Jim, I can’t wait to
go home.” I nodded and kissed her on the forehead as she assumed a fetal
position in my arms, her head resting on my chest.
The following days were busy with work
keeping our little ecosystem alive, as the moon grew and grew ahead of us in
the window.
As we inserted the spacecraft into lunar
orbit, the scene below was straight out of 2001: a space odyssey. The place
looked barren and hostile to life, yet the time had come for our visit to this
desolate planet. Gordon was to stay in the command module. Rochelle and I were
to descend in the lunar module and live three days on this bleak and
inhospitable place.
We
entered the lunar module with Rochelle to be the commander for our team, as she
was in our marriage. As we drifted away from Gaia, we gazed at the space ship,
shining in the bright sunlight.
I said to Rochelle, “Hey commander what
next?”
She giggled saying, “I always did wear the
pants in this marriage.”
The lunar surface grew closer and closer
as we descended. Rochelle guided the lunar module, “Ariadne,“ with the skilled precision of a seasoned pilot. With a
thump she announced gleefully,” The Ariadne has
landed!”
The mission control flight director said,
“You got a bunch of folks about to jump out of their seats down here.”
Rochelle was to egress first, so I said,
“Ladies first.”
She slapped me on the chest saying, “Cut
it out.” I watched her climb nimbly down the ladder and step foot on the gray
surface. She said,” This is one small step for woman; One giant leap for woman
kind.”
The flight director said, “It’s about
time; well over due.”
Rochelle radioed, “You can say that
again.”
I followed her and we stood on the powdery
surface arm in arm as I gazed up at the earth, so tiny I could block it with my
thumb. I radioed to earth , ”I know this may sound
corny, but man this place is far out.” We planted the American flag and stood
back saluting, with me in a quiet, meditative mood. I stared out over the distant
hills at the depths of space and wanted to remember this moment so I could tell
others when I returned.
We unloaded the lunar rover with Rochelle
taking the driver’s seat as usual. She put her into gear and we went cruising
across the desolate plains with dust flying all over us. We reached the rim of
a crater, parked, and took pictures of each other. We collected loads of
rocks while
wandering around. We had a moment of silence when we
just drifted into
our own solitary inner worlds.
The day came to launch back homeward and
we entered the space craft, first her then me. I stood on the ladder, gazing at
this place I’d called home for the past three days. I would miss it, yet I was
more than ready to return to earth. Rochelle initiated the ignition sequence,
but there was only silence. She tried again and again.
Rochelle radioed
Rochelle suddenly pivoted and grabbed me
in a bear hug saying, “Jim I’m scared.”
I replied, “We’ll find a way honey. We’ve
got the best minds in our world working on it.” Rochelle and I kept on
developing theories about the problem and attempting every solution we could
imagine. Rochelle looked at me with resignation in her eyes.
She said, “Jim I don’t want to die here.”
I laid my hand on her face wiping away her
tears. I said, “We’ll find a way.” She touched my lips with her fingers. I
pressed them to my lips and kissed them.
She said, “Jim if this is our last time
alive, I want to make it count.” We turned off our radios, and for the
following hour Houston and Gordon heard only silence from us. Misty eyed,
Rochelle unzipped my coverall trousers. Bewitched by the moon and my betrothed,
so near, so palpable, I surrendered to her in the trembling moment of desire. I
felt her body so warm and enticing in my arms. The spicy sensation of her
caress intoxicated me. We would go sweetly into that darkest night.
Rochelle sat naked on the floor clasping
her upturned knee in her hands. She looked so soft and vulnerable bathed in the
solar luminescence streaming from the window.
Her nude form cast in the sunlight, seemed so fragile and delicate. I
broke the silence saying, “Honey, let’s not throw in the towel yet. We have several hours of oxygen left. People on earth are working round the clock
to help us.”
Rochelle replied, “Oh come on Jim. You
know as well as I do we don’t have a chance in hell. Save your breath.”
I countered, “Rochelle, you aren’t the
type to give up. I’ve always known you as a fighter.”
Rochelle changed the subject saying, “Jim
you’re in denial. But I do sincerely appreciate your encouragement. Look at
you, so handsome and manly, sitting next to me in the nude. This is your finest
hour my gentle one. I know your heart is full of love for me. I need your
strength right now, to face what is about to happen. Let’s do a toast Jim, to
all that might have been.”
We raised our water containers, and
touched them. I replied, “To all that was.”
In the afterglow of our final libations, I turned the radio back on.
The flight controller said, “You had us folks worried sick. What happened?”
I replied, “We had a transmitter
malfunction. It’s fixed now.”
The flight director responded, “Guys we’ve
been working with the simulators on this, and we think we may have found a
solution.” Teary eyed, Rochelle, looked
up at me with a tentative smile of hope. She clasped her hands together raising
them, as in prayer. I enfolded her prayer hands in mine. The fix required me to
do another EVA. I had to egress the Ariadne and work
on the wires on the outside.
I returned and Rochelle commenced the
ignition sequence again. This time we felt a rumble and the module flew upward
like a hawk, soaring into the endless expanse of space.
I watched Gaia illuminated in a slivery
shine. It was the happiest day I’d experienced since standing on the altar with
Rochelle.
We rendezvoused with Gaia and entered giving
Gordon high fives and Rochelle even kissed him. We watched the Ariadne, which was almost our tomb, drift away into the
black ocean around it. I wondered what death was like, whether it would it be
an ending or a beginning of something new and in-comprehensible?
As the earth grew larger ahead, I felt the
pulse of life in my arteries. Our arms around each other’s waists, Rochelle and
I gazed ahead at the milky blue marble adrift in the ancient and vast cosmos. I
looked into her eyes as she looked ahead. There was a mystery there which I
would never fathom or try to circumscribe. It was as boundless as the
infinite sea in
which we’d set sail.