Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: Sometimes you just feel like getting dirty. Except when you don't.
Notes: for spander132, in which the mood is - you guessed it - dirty.



Spike wasn't the type to worry. He was paranoid, obsessive, and melodramatic. But he wasn't a worrier. Until one night Xander didn't come home.

The fact that it was bloody Xander Harris that he was worried about didn't even register. He'd gotten over that little problem months ago, after a nice round of anger-filled sex. Now it was all puppies and daffodils and shining sun light. Except it hadn't been very sunny as of late. Instead it had rained, hard, for the past week or so.

That thought only served to send Spike into another round of panicking as he stared at the clock. What if he had gotten attacked? What if he had gotten into a car wreck? What if he was kidnapped? What if some idiotic vampire tried to have him as a snack? What if there was some unknown prophecy that used delicious young men's bodies to end the world? What if there was some arcane ritual involving sex with someone as tasty and goofy as him? Spike wasn't about to let some crazy warlock touch his Xander's arse!

Jumping to his feet, Spike snagged his duster and ran out of the apartment to save his lover's life.

Xander wasn't having a good day. The construction site had been partially closed down due to the rain. While most of the workers waited for the water to stop falling, others were put to work measuring wooden beams and doing inventory. Xander, sadly, was one of those workers. The result of which had left Xander working late into the evening and when he noticed the sun going down? Well, he wasn't shocked to see a blur of pale vampire running down the street toward the partially built building.

Xander was thankful that the rest of the crew had left before him. He didn't want to think about what they would do if they could see Spike now. Most of his coworkers found the vampire strange and unusual. Or as Benny said: "Dude, that man lives in his own world of insanity." With a heavy sigh, Xander held his coat over one arm and exited the office trailer. It wasn't until he was treading through three inches of thick mud toward his car that he noticed something weird about Spike's appearance.

Spike was just reaching the entrance, about twenty feet away. His duster, once a worn-in color of black, was now deep brown with green speckles. His hair was no longer bleached blonde, despite the dye job Xander had helped him with two weeks ago. It took Xander a moment, but as Spike closed in on him, he realized the vampire was coated in nasty looking mud.

"Stop!" Xander demanded, holding out his hands. Spike came to a halt three feet in front of him. A distance that Xander knew was too close. "Don't you come any closer!"

"You're alive." Spike said in awe.

"What?" Xander frowned.

"Oh, pet, you're alive!" Spike repeated, his eyes looking far too shiny.

"Spike..." Xander said slowly. "You didn't eat what was in that package on the third shelf in the refrigerator, did you? You knew that was one of Willow's magic ingredients that I was holding for her."

"No." Spike said, looking away a moment. Xander watched, both amused and shocked, as a large blob of mud fell from Spike's nose to the ground in a deafening plop.

"Spike, why are you covered in mud?" Xander finally asked.

"Well, I had to save you, didn't I?" Spike asked defensively.

"From what?" Xander looked around, as though expecting some demon to come popping up out of the woodwork.

"Didn't know." Spike mumbled.

"Seriously, what happened?" Xander asked.

"I was running down Main Street - Don't laugh, it's not funny. - And this little old lady with a bloody shopping cart got in my way!" Spike growled. "I don't even want to know why she had a shopping cart in the middle of Main Street, but she did. I tried to bloody well dodge her, but I ended up tripping over the wheel of the cart and falling into the mud."

"Okay." Xander giggled. "But you are not-" Giggle. "-Getting into my car like that."

"Why not?" Spike whined. "You have mud on you!"

"On my boots, Spike. I don't have mud all over my body." Xander replied, then immediately regretted his use of words as Spike leered. "What? No!"

"Ah, come here, pet!" Spike grinned, reaching for Xander.

"No, Spike!" Xander yelped, darting away. The vampire, however, was faster. Dirt covered arms wrapped around his waist from behind, pulling him against Spike with a horrid 'squelch' noise. "Oh, gross!"

"Don't be such a girl, luv." Spike whispered into his ear.

"I am not being a girl." Xander glared. "Let me go, Spike. I'm getting all dirty!"

"That's the point." Spike replied. He maneuvered Xander around, easily dodging Xander's protesting arms. Their chests touched, the mud causing them to slip against one another.

"Well, now neither one of us is getting in the car." Xander said.

"Sure we are, pet." Spike grinned. "Just got to... Lose the mud, is all."

"Are you attempting to imply that we strip down to possible nakedness?" Xander asked, feigning shock. He wasn't shocked, though. That was exactly the type of thing Spike would suggest, after all. Spike didn't reply, instead he slipped one hand just under the hem of Xander's shirt. "No."

"Oh, come on!" Spike pouted. "It'll be fun."

"We are in a public place." Xander pointed out, wriggling slightly as Spike's hands traveled around to slip into the waist band of his jeans. "What if someone catches us?"

"It's after dark in Sunnydale." Spike said, giving him a pointed look. "We're more likely to be attacked by a bunch of bloody doves than get caught breaking the law."

"You shouldn't say things like that. What if it came true?"

"Then I'll beat the birds down and shag you like there's no tomorrow."

"You're planning on doing that anyway." Xander commented, allowing Spike to slowly push him backwards. Spike pulled his coat out his hands and tossed it behind them. Xander thought about protesting, but he knew Spike would somehow turn whatever he said into something sexual. His backside suddenly hit the front end of his new car and he couldn't help but wince as he thought about the mud that would no doubt be contaminating that polished hood.

"It's just a car." Spike whispered, his eyes flashing playfully in the low lights that lit up the small parking lot. His hand slowly slid into Xander's jeans and cupped his buttocks, giving each cheek a slight squeeze. An almost feral grin appeared on Spike's face when Xander moaned softly.

"You're an evil, naughty, dirty vampire." Xander told him, before pulling said vampire in for a deep kiss. Spike grinned against his mouth, before their tongues met in a dance that was both erotic and desperate. When Spike finally released Xander for a breath, the young man sent him a glare. "You're impossible. I can't believe you're making me do this."

"Not making you do anything." Spike insisted, nudging Xander back until he was sitting on the car's hood. More 'squelch' noises were heard as their bodies began rubbing against one another earnestly. "Just... Mmm... Want to have... Yeah, pet... Some fun, is all."

"You're impossible." Xander gasped out as Spike pushed his back against the hood and towered over him with a lecherous grin. Spike's hands removed themselves from his pants and deftly un-buttoned and un-zipped both of their jeans. "Do I want to know how you managed to get mud inside your pants?"

"Probably not." Spike replied with a cheerful tone. "Just think of it this way! Now we're all slippery and we can slide together." Spike reached inside Xander's jeans to pull out his erection. "Just like this."

"I really shouldn't be turned on by this." Xander moaned softly. "You're getting icky wet dirt all over Xander Jr."

"Yeah, but it feels nice." Spike pointed out, his hips jerking. "Shouldn't you be moaning and writhing under me about now, pet?"

"Probably." Xander said, before reaching up to pull Spike into another kiss.

As it often went, their passion attacked them like a tidal wave. Wave after wave of arousal and pleasure, with each thrust of a hip and glide of flesh on flesh. Xander made a move to slide his mouth across Spike's cheek to his ear, but encountered a pile of mud attached to the vampire's face. Pulling his head to the side, he began spitting to get the crud out of his mouth. Spike chuckled into his ear.

"You know." Xander said between spits. "You could pause our frottage long enough to let me get this taste out of my mouth."

"Got better ways to do that, luv." Spike said.

Their lips met in a bruising kiss, and soon the taste of mud was eliminated and replaced by that of Spike. Their tongue dueled, thrusting in tune with each move of their hips. Hard flesh rubbed against hard flesh. Fingers entwined with one another. One body gasped and breathed in heavy pants, while the other mimicked the hard breathing despite not needing the air.

"God, Spike." Xander growled, when their lips finally separated.

One of Xander's arms slipped underneath the vampire's duster, in order to wrap around his waist, while the other braced itself against the car to support the hard rhythm Spike was creating. He could feel the car bounce along with them, their activity causing havoc to the tires. Their lips met once more, Xander's teeth biting down hard on Spike's lower lip as pleasure struck him again and again like lightning. The slick feeling and sound of their mud covered clothes became a pointless worry and both parties arched closer to that perfect point of ecstasy.

"Love you, Xan." Spike said in a soft voice, before sealing his mouth over Xander's to muffle his own howl. Spike's completion only served to bring forward Xander's own.

"Good God." Xander panted, letting his head fall back against his car with a thump.

"Mmmm... Sure am." Spike mumbled, his face buried in Xander's neck.

"Oh, Spike!" Xander suddenly whined. "Now I'm covered in mud and your... stuff."

"You can't complain about it if you are unable to say the word." Spike replied, pulling back. He moved to stuff himself back into his pants and zip up, but Xander grabbed his hand. "Oh, ready for another go, then?"

"No. You're stripping down. We are both stripping down." Xander ordered, pulling off his shirt. Spike's eyes glazed over slightly. "Pay attention!"

"Well, how do you expect me to do that when you're undressing!" Spike exclaimed.

"Neither one of us is getting into my car covered in mud." Xander said firmly. "And I'm not leaving it here to get stolen by some wannabe punk or, worse, a vampire."

"Yeah, yeah." Spike waved a hand, before slipping out of his mud coated duster. Both men quickly removed their clothes and, completely nude, tossed them into the trunk. Xander took one look at his coat, before considering it unsalvageable and leaving it on the ground. He ignored Spike's leer and slid into the driver's seat, waiting for his vampire to follow. "Hey, pet? Ever have someone give you a blow-job while driving?"

"Yes. Fifteen times." Xander gave him an odd look. "Don't you remember? We kept driving the car salesmen crazy and was only allowed to drive around the car lot, since we didn't want him in the car with us? We went through fourteen cars before we discovered this one had enough room for you to maneuvered your head."

"Oh, yeah." Spike said, grinning. As they pulled out of the parking lot and head for home in their birthday suits, Spike gave a happy sigh. "This was fun. I should fall in the mud more often."

The End

Continued in


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