Resignation From the Human Race
Mood:  cheeky
March 24, 2006

To Whomever Gives a Big Hairy Rats’ Ass;

After ingesting my daily fix of local and national news, I have henceforth made a half way educated decision to resign from the human race. I no longer want to be, in any way, associated with my fellow Americans. I give up. I will now become one of my sister’s dogs, or my daughter’s cats.

The following are reasons for making this decision.

1. People are mean, and getting meaner. To each other and themselves. A man shot and killed another man for walking across his yard. Everyone has a right to protect their personal property, but that’s a little over-protective. I’d rather take my chances as a dog. As a dog, I can be taught to ‘Set’ and ‘Stay’. As a cat, I can and will ignore you. Laws protecting me as an animal are more stringent than the laws protecting me as a human.

2. People are rude, and getting worse. Humans yell at each other, insult each other, and call each other names. All under the guise of free speech. After rereading the Bill of Rights, I don’t understand it that way. It’s Freedom of Speech, not freedom to be rude. As a dog, I would listen to the yelling, cower, listen to the insults and name calling, cower, tuck my tail, and hide until the coast is clear. As a cat, I can and will ignore you.

3. People are opinionated and over-bearing. Why do humans ask for other’s opinions when the asker has no intention of listening to the answers given? If I were a dog, I would listen with undivided attention while you ask me questions and tell me the answers you want to hear. I wouldn’t consider a human over-bearing because the same things were being said on the same topic. Over and over. As a dog, I would like that. You’d be paying attention to me and talking to me. I wouldn’t understand what you are saying, but I wouldn’t care. I’m a dog. As a dog, I’d be grateful for the attention. As a cat, I can and will ignore you.

4. People won’t always be truthful. As a human, I know it is not always good to be totally truthful. It hurts the feelings of others. Humans use the truth, as they see it, to bend the will of other people. What is truth for one may not be the truth for another.
As a dog, I will believe everything you tell me as well as believing everything any one else tells me. As a cat, I can and will ignore you.

5. People manipulate other people. It has gotten to where a person, or most people, will talk until they say the words someone else wants to hear and starts paying attention. Once the attention has been gained, the words start getting twisted around until they mean something different. Confusion sets in and no one except the first speaker knows what is going on. Mind games. As a dog, I may chase a ball or even run after an air ball. Yes, I can be manipulated. I’ve just proven it by chasing the air ball. Would I care? No, because I know that after you’ve had your fun at my expense, there will be a bowl of water and a Kibble for playing nice and letting you have your fun. As a dog, I won’t be stupid, and I can and will manipulate you. I got the Kibble, didn’t I? As a cat, I can and will ignore you. I can catch my own treats, thank you.

6. People are intolerant and getting more so. Humans disagree on almost any subject matter. Politics. Religion. Food. Clothing. It doesn’t matter. There is something out there somewhere that someone finds intolerable. Most of the time, there is no compromise. As a dog, I would have no political affiliation. My only Master is you, whom I blindly adore and obey, and no one will tell me I am wrong for my feelings toward You. My personal needs will be met every time you fill my water and food bowls. As a dog, I won’t be a picky eater, but I will prefer to eat what you are having and will help myself should you turn your head. I only have one outfit to wear and it will be your responsibility to keep me looking good. As a cat, I can and will ignore everyone. I’ll just snag a treat off your plate as I saunter past or claw the furniture if I don‘t get attention the way I want it when I want it. As a cat, I can be as intolerant as a human. I can and will take care of my own grooming. Leave me alone!

From this day forward, consider me an ex-member of the human race. (I will decide which animal I want to be when my head clears.)

Prove This
Mood:  irritated
Shame on us! Shame on all of us who dare to have an opinion. Even more, shame on us for voicing these opinions. The shame grows deeper when we resort to insults and name calling when vocalizing these opinions.

I’ve often wondered where we have dumped, or stranded, our manners. There is no longer any reason to think we, as a people, believe in or even know the meaning of common courtesy. What am I saying? Courtesy is no longer common. It has gone to the same place as common sense.

Shame on me because I no longer want to know, nor do I care, what your opinion is. You lost me when you called me ignorant. While I may well be ignorant of your way of thinking, that fact does not give you any more rights than I have. Does the fact that I know more about the First Amendment then The Simpsons make me any less a person? Apparently, it does. My education is lacking. I read the article and studies in the news. This information doesn’t say much good about the mentality of the American public, does it?

I am uneducated. I don’t buy into every news blurp I read or hear. I am uneducated because I do not waste my time trying to prove a useless point. A point which I don’t give two hoots and a hollar about to start with. Therefore, not only am I ignorant, I’m uneducated.

You know something? I don’t care. Does that make me an ignorant, uneducated, red-neck? According to some studies released this week, I am. What is so bad about being a red-neck? If minding my own business, handling my own problems while telling you to nose out, makes me a red-neck, then so be it. I’m not standing on a soapbox ranting and raving about what is going wrong in the world and yelling at everyone. If what is wrong in the world is my fault, then get out of my way and let me fix it. If your ideas are any better than mine, why don’t you shut up and fix the problems? Just stop yammering at me before my neck gets redder.

My political leanings are none of your business. While you are calling me a liberal or a conservative, please be courteous enough to define these two words. My uneducation is such that I don’t have a clue anymore to the meaning of these words in today’s terminology. One thing I do know, they are used as insults. Why is that?

I’ve stood on my own two hind legs and admitted I’m an ignorant, uneducated, red-neck. I forgot to add there is a more than distinct possibility that I’m narrow-minded.

An Intimate Conversation with a Fundamentalist
Hey! You! Yea, I’m talking to you!

Who in the hell do you think you are? Standing there, dressed in your self-righteousness, preaching at me about your fundamentalist bull shit!

I’ve spent the past forty-five years working my ass off so you could stand there and spew your brain-washed garbage at me. Yea, you have that right, and you’re using that right to tell me that my son, daughters, and grandchildren can’t have what I’ve fought so hard for. You’re suffering delusions if you think I will not fight you on this one.

The only thing we see even close to eye to eye on is abortion. I don’t believe abortion should be used as a form of birth control. Other than that, it’s none of my business, or yours, who does what. It’s their business. Kindly keep your nose out.

What was that? Oh, yea, out-lawing abortion will work real well. Let’s make these rape and incest victims have the babies if the attack causes a pregnancy. If those women want to give birth to these children, so be it, but it’s their business not yours. Not mine. Not yours. Theirs.

Let’s take away the birth control, whether it’s pills, condoms, cyclic, whatever, and force women to give birth to children they neither want nor can take care of. Let’s make these women stay home to care for these unwanted children, possibly end up in an abusive relationship with some man, or another woman, grow tired of the hassle, and harm the children or kill them. Is that what you want to happen? Well, it is happening. Everyday. Open your damn eyes. It’s real life.

Mothers need to stay home and take care of their children? I can go along with that provided Daddy can work one job and pay the bills. Not two jobs. Not three. One. Children need a father just as much as they need a mother. If it’s possible. How do you see that happening?

And, what about the fathers raising their children alone. Where did mama go? Did she die? Did she just get tired of the daily grind and take off for parts unknown? Do you have a suggestion to force these women to raise their children even though they want no part of them? Ever.

Don’t walk away from me! I’m not done with you! You fundamentalist hypocrite! Get your self-righteous ass back over here!

There are fathers out there working two and three jobs to take care of their children. Hell, there are grandparents out there raising their grandchildren. Loving these babies, housing them and feeding them on what little income they receive from their retirement funds. Life is not easy for these people, but they do it because someone has to take care of their families. They love these children and want what is best for them. Should we take these children out of the loving homes and give them to someone who doesn’t give a shit about anything but the money the government pays them to house these children? Just so these children will have a women’s influence in their lives? Are you willing to give up everything you’ve worked for to take these children into your home and love them? Send them to college? I didn’t think so! It costs too much, doesn’t it? And you’ve raised your family. When it comes right down to it, you don’t give a shit either, do you?

What’s this about women not working outside the home? Hasn’t your rich ass heard that times are hard right now? It takes two or three paychecks just to keep hearth and home together. Well, let me fill you in since you don’t seem to have a good grasp on the real world.

I worked my ass off when I was younger so you could live in your ivory tower and spread rumors and gossip about working women. Yea, I was a part of the equal rights movement. Not women’s lib type stuff. Equal Rights! For everyone! Including you. I worked a job that usually took two people so a young man could be with his wife while she gave birth, take their children to the doctor, whatever. Was that young man your son? Equal rights. The men covered for me when I had to take off to tend to my child. Equal rights.

Yes, child. As in one. One is all that I was blessed with. Not all that I could handle. I always had extra children hanging around. Usually because their parents didn’t want to be bothered for whatever reason. Parties. Vacations. Shopping. Some of these children didn’t know how to behave in public until I took them out and taught them proper public behavior, including manners. Some of these children were raised in a ‘seen, but not heard’ situation. Others were just plain ignored by their parents until they misbehaved. You tell me children have rights and I agree. Now, you are advocating what? Bringing more children into this world so they can be ignored, mistreated, and abused?

It doesn’t work your way in today’s world. None of that fundamental bullshit will work in today’s world. It didn’t work forty years ago. It didn’t work a hundred years ago. You want fundamental? Let women rule like they did in prehistoric times. Is that fundamental enough for you?

Hey, I like that idea! Yea, let’s do that. Go back to prehistoric times. Being a woman, I could kick you out of my home, my bedroom, and my business. You have no good reason to have your nose stuck in my business to start with. Yea, I like that. I could shut you up and no one would do a damn thing about it. No laws protecting your sanctimonious ass.