Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Nothing at the moment
Topic: Memories
I know that it has been quite a while since I recorded an entry in here and I have no real excuse except for busy trying to get my housing. When I am not doing that, I'm "dead to the world" pretty much. I hate to say it quite like that but hey, I have to be truthful here, don't ya think?

I want to wish everyone a great Happy Valentine's Day. My sincere hope is that it is filled with everlasting memories to last for years to come. As I told you, my Valentine, as sad as it is, probably forgot that I even existed much less wanted to talk to me anymore. Well, that's it for today. Take care.

Mood:  blue
Topic: Memories
February 2, 2006 I can't really say a whole lot except so much emotional turmoil has rivoted it's ugly head and placed itself into my life. If I had it to do over again, I know that I would react quite differently to the events that have occured. My existence as I once knew it to be, is no longer a part of who I currently am now. I met this really wonderful family when I encountered a co-worker for a place that even though I detested it with an extreme passion, I was grateful that this place brought me to this person. I don't really want to say his name particularly because I still physically and emotionally am not able to cope with the fact that this person no longer wanted to be in my life for reasons of his own I suppose. However, although it's unfortunately and extremely painful (more and more every day in fact) I guess I just wasn't what he actually wanted after all. As for his family, his mother and sweet precious daughter I honestly love with all my heart. I miss them also tremendously and wish that I would wake up from my life of constant nightmares and waking in the dark, cold, and desolate night, in tears because I know that he and his family are the ones that I want to share my entire lifetime with. I figured by now, as months have past, that I would be able to overcome this torment, but I feel that there is absolutely no hope for recovery. I just recently accepted the LORD Jesus Christ as my personal LORD and savior. In this acceptance, I talked extensively about how I feel about this wonderful man that once lit up my life in more ways than you can imagine. I told him that in all my adult years, I had never found true love, that is, until I met him. I wish that he could see inside my heart and would change his mind and come back to me because I want nothing more than to give him and his family a life filled with everlasting happiness and joy. Sure there is bound to be disappointment as that is life. If I could just be given another chance to make it right with him (although I really don't know why he left me to begin with) I would do everything that I possibly could to make sure that he knows that I will always love him. Either way, I will love him, NO MATTER WHAT. I don't want anyone else and I am lost without him-totally lost.Will I ever be with him again? I pray every minute and sometimes every second that he will one day realize that my love for him will never ever die. I am different than all the other women he has known because I love only him and always will. He's my destiny, need I really say any more?