Godsmack



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Faceless - * * 1/2




Godsmack. What the fuck, where do I begin. I can’t really say much bad about this band. They exist in some kind of strange netherworld, trapped between sucking completely and being somewhat good. They possess a talent for writing heavy riffs that is superior to their fellow corporate tools in Disturbed, Limp Bizkit, and Linkin Park, the other current clear channel approved metal bands of choice. The name of the album is appropriate at least. Go ahead and turn on the imitation metal station in any city in the U.S. and I guarantee that you will hear one of those bands within ten minutes. They saturate the radio airplay and seemingly sell more records than the Beatles and Elvis, but I don't know a fucking person who is into any of these bands. I guess if I hung out in sports bars with guys named Rick and Chip I finally might meet some people who are really into this band. If I did my drinking at the Applebees bar instead of at home in front of the computer, I might actually know somebody who owns a Godsmack album. I don’t know what the point of owning this would be though when you can turn on the radio and hear it every ten fucking minutes.


Godsmack has essentially been writing the same song for the last five years. It was a pretty good song at first but you would think that something remotely interesting would surface after three fucking albums. They do have their obligitory slow songs with the tribal drums that are probably set on repeat to bonghits in jock hippie dorm rooms across the country. They also have the “we sing like Creed but we’re not pussies” heavy as fuck guitar songs that the same jock hippies probably lift weights to and do other closet gay shit before the big game. I guess that’s really the target audience here. If this is your favorite band you might want to kill yourself now and save the trouble twenty years from now when you’re a balding insurance executive with a minivan and a mortgage who hangs out at the TGI Fridays bar to get away from his shrew of a wife and spoiled bastard kids. It’s gonna fucking happen because you don’t have any imagination or taste and you do what everybody else does.


Godsmack is like Bush for the new millenium. Does anybody remember Bush, a pale imitation of a great fucking band that sold a truckload of records but never really wrote a good song that you could tell apart from the other clear channel “alternative” shit that was being marketed in the late 90’s. Switch the word alternative for the word “metal” and you’ve got yourself a Godsmack album. They’re not bad enough to really hate but what's the fucking point really. I’m sure Layne Staley probably hated this shit because he was doing the same thing with a whole lot more talent and conviction fifteen years ago. If Godsmack and Creed could be somehow transported back to 1989, Staley probably would have said fuck it and overdosed right then and there when he heard this record. That’s why Alice In Chains gets four stars and this shit gets two and a half.

* * 1/2



Reviewed: December, 2004






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