Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
« August 2009 »
S M T W T F S
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
RSS Feed
View Profile
You are not logged in. Log in
Me'moire
Wednesday, 5 July 2006
I think there is something wrong with me...
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: FFX- Pure Heart
I think... There is something wrong with me... I can't stop crying... I will be fine, then all the sudden, out of nowhere. I will just burst into tears... Normally it happens when I see someone else cry, on TV or in real life. I just start crying. And... Even when I am not crying, there is this dull ache in my heart, and I can't make it go away. No matter how hard I try. It just won't go away... I still need to plant my friendship rose. Even if no humans understand me, at least I have my flowers. I can take care of them, and they don't judge me. They don't break my heart. Speaking of Flowers, this friendship rose is beautiful. It has these wonderful purple flowers... But the thorns are some of the biggest I have ever seen. Does that mean something? It seems like it should. I also got a money tree. It doesnt really bear money, but it is an old legend that it brings good luck and fortune. I hope that it works. I really do.

Mother should be home soon, then we can go outside and plant my flowers... I feel better when I am taking care of something. Watching them grow it... It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced...

I am not sure what more to say. I don't think anyone really reads my blogs but... I need them anyway, as a record of my thoughts. I really don't have anything more to say. I will probably post more soon. To those of you who are reading this, thank you.

Posted by planet/eternityscarousel at 2:26 AM GMT
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post
Tuesday, 4 July 2006
Healing Pain
Now Playing: Gary Jules- Mad World, FFX-2- Pure Heart
My heartaches... It is a strange kind of ache. Like pain without hurt. I was so afraid of losing her, that in my anger and frustration, I actually pushed her further away. I really am sorry... I am sorry that I couldn't accept it. Why is it that people have to forget? Too soon we grow up, and once we do, we leave our childhoood behind, even our friends. Our all too dear friends. Why is it that forever has too be just a word? We promise ourselves, that forever, we will be friends, just us... But as much as it hurts, forever is just a word. It reminds me of someday... "Someday" I will come visit you. "Someday" we will be together forever. But when is someday? Will someday ever come? Or is someday even further away then forever? I know that... We arent in a fight anymore... I know that we never were. I know that everything is "cool" again... But why wont the pain go away? I felt like I lost a part of myself. I know that time heals all the pain, but why cant time go faster? I want to be healed now... Too many times I have sat by while my friends are stolen away from me, I promised myself I wouldnt let it happen again. But in trying to keep her, I only hurt her. Its just NOT FAIR!! Heh... Life isnt fair. It wouldnt be life if it was.
This next part is kinda personal, but if she reads it, she will know it is for her.


I love you, okay? I do. You are the best friend that I ever had... And... I want you to know. No.. You HAVE To now. I know that I have already said it before, but I am going to say it again. The only time I was ever happy... Was when I was with you.


I feel like I should put something more up here... So... This song I feel I can really connect with, here are the lyrics.


Pure Heart

Beyond this road, running on far and long
Must surely be something we can believe in


If, like a traveler in the wind
You went on, aiming for the northern skies

The hot emotions that have begun to disappear
Glitter and wave once more
Within my heart

I don't want to cry, you see
So I don't give in to my weak self

Huge wings
Unseen only by eyes
Held by undecorated hearts

Spread your hands; while singing
Be embraced by eternal time
And connect with life

Beyond this road, running on far and long
Must surely be something we can believe in

Well... I need to clean my room... And wait for her to get on, so I can tell her how I feel.

Posted by planet/eternityscarousel at 10:31 PM GMT
Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post

Newer | Latest | Older