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Magical land of yahoo chess
Tuesday, 7 February 2006
The battlefield
Welcome to the house of Emo & Steve...Farewell Emo Website.

The people, the duals, the devastation of defeat, the agony of despair, the justice and relief of victory, the mercilessness of battle, the ambushing, the taunting, the bellicose, the enemy, the allies, epitomized what internet chess' biggest stage was truly all about...War.
Advanced lounge rotating tables of yahoo chess were truly "Round tables of War"

Below is a list of enemies and allies who were involved in yahoo chess' epic battles.


Real name: Carlos Sanchez Moreno

Date of birth: October 30, 1973

Place of birth: Mendoza Argentina

Current location: Montreal Quebec, Canada
Nicknames: loco, fer, the italian stallion,

Favorite movie: Killer clowns from outer space, Forrest Gump, the goonies

Idols: Eric Morales, George Bush, Chavez, Nestor Kirchner, Fidel Castro, osama bin laden, divncom2000,lhmenya/bobyor2001.

qualities: Manic depressant, delusional, heartful

Occupation: Unemployed, recepient of social security disability

Carlos Moreno's criminal record:

2 counts of assault with a deadly weapon March 13th 1988, Bronx New York.

future goals: To become president of the United States of America.

Posession of crack cocaine October 26th 1991 Lower East side brooklyn New York

Soliciting February 18th 1994, Manhattan New York

Trespassing and Indecent exposure on juvenile school property May 5, 1997 Montreal Canada (Charges were later dropped due to insanity)

future goals: To become president of the United States of America.

Did you know: Carlos has always had a curiousity and interest in astronomy and science? As a young boy, Carlos would often have fanciful ideas of becoming the first Argentinian to walk the moon. It is a pity he never dedicated his life to education, sadly he has taken a criminal path.


Real name: Michael Horowitz

Date of birth: November 3rd 1980

Place of birth: Jerusalem Israel

Current location: Sydney, N.S.W. Australia

Nicknames: Divy, the mad genius, little adolph,

Qualities: Sophisticated, thoughtful, knowledgeable perceptive, articulate, prideful, furious,

Known personally since 2000

Chess: Was a speed demon from 2001-2003,captured and often retained a red in credit to speed and pushing tactics. In theory, one of the lowest mate-to-win ratios in yahoo history. But the fact that he is a quick thinker with an excellent connection has provided success. Unfortunately in 2004 Mr. Horowitz lost his cable connection and was demoted to modem where he no longer could win via wood pushing. Since he lacks chess skill and pushing abilities, his rating has plummeted severely. Michael rarely makes appearances to yahoo chess these days, and only for pschological lecturing.

Favorite Movies: Schindler's list, King Kong, Menace 2 society, the Matrix, Point Break,

Favorite idols: Adolph Hitler, Malcolm X, James Early Ray, therealman777

Occupation: Teacher (English, Psychology)

Future Goals: To commit genocide of ignorant and subhuman person/species (whimsical). Tie the knot, earn $$$ through his teaching and travel the world.


Real name: Ozan ankadanapol

Date of birth: January 6th 1978

Place of birth: Adana Turkey

Current location: Allentown Pennyslvania

Nicknames: Ozanoman

Qualities: Normal, chess patzerish

Known since: 2005

Favorite movies: E.T, Weekend at Bernie's

Favorite idols:

Future goals: Make $$$$ and travel the world and get in bed with a non-turk woman

Chess: Slow, plays for mate but is a novice and more of a patzer, but a nice patzer.


Real name: Hans Hasselhoff

Date of birth: February 12th 1954

Place of birth: Dusseldorf Germany

Current location: Taichung Taiwan

Favorite Movies: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Luzhin Defence, Taiwan bathhouse 7 (pay per view)

Idols: Bobby Fischer, Kasparov, che_cddd2000

Nicknames: the German Giant, old rough and ready, studmuffin, pimp-daddy-hans, hannypoo, Augustus Gloop

qualities: modest,venerable,conservative,civilized

Occupation: Gigolo, Chess instructor

Future goals: To be the biggest German stud in all of Asia

chess: Probably the strongest 2/0 player yahoo has ever housed. In truth is Extreme knowledge of openings is the biggest credit for his victories.

Did you know Adolph hitler is actually on hans hasselhoff's family tree? Hans Hasselhoff is a distant cousin's nephew of hitler. Heh, he has something else to brag about!


Real name: John Nguyen

Date of birth: December 14, 1985

Place of birth: Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon Vietnam

Current location: Howard, New Jersey

Nicknames: 1 inch charlie,

known personally since 2001

qualities: femenine, arrogant, greedy, belligerent, ignorant but dedicated

Favorite movies: Good morning Vietnam, Platoon, Forrest Gump,

Idol: William Hung, Jackie Chan, therealman777

Chess: Mostly thought of as a femenine nerd, John is learned in chess theory but is often overrated due to his extremely fast connection for the past 5 years.

Occupation: student/ busboy at his parents vietnamese noodle hut.

Future goals: To lose his virginity with a white woman.

Did you know john has had numerous attempts of increasing his penis size to avoid further ridicule over the years of his adoloscence. He was actually caught shoplifting in an Atlantic City drugstore when trying to pilfer a penis-pump.


Real name: Karina moreno

Date of birth: February 22nd 1979

Place of birth: Cordoba Argentina

Current location: da bronx New York

Nicknames: baby kari, da bronx bomber.

Known personally since: 2003

Qualities: Polite, intelligent, sensual, depressed

Chess: Learned in chess theory, extremely proficient in openings and positional play and a fast connection.

Favorite movies: The knights of south bronx, Lean on me, Kids

Idol: Rosalyn Sanchez

Occupation: unemployed

Future goals: To move out of her Mother's house and make $$$$

Did you know Karina was the top chess player at her schools in Cordoba Argentina? She won numerous trophies and prizes.


Real name: Grishka petrovsky

Date of birth: January 12th 1976 Novosibirsk USSR (Russia)

Current location: Palo Alto California

Nicknames: Ivan Drago, the Monarch, King Grishka, the Emperor, Commander, the soviet tyrant of yahoo chess, the annihilator,

Qualities: Reserved, focused, determined, potent, serious, deadly, astute.

Known personally since: 2001

Chess: Extreme proficience combined with excellent speed/connection has given Grishka the title of Champion of yahoo chess from 2002-2004. He does not lack superiority in any area of the game. Often his tremendous knowledge of openings would grant him an ensuing positional advantage where his opponents would soon crumple. Once Grishka notices an innacurate move from his opponents, he will always seem to capitalize on their mistakes and victory seems only a matter of time for him. He was idolized by thousands of yahooligans, unfortunately he retired because his wife threatened to leave him. A ghost in the form of bobyor2000 has allegedly been lhmenya's spirit and continues to carry on his reign.

Favorite Movies: Rocky 4, knight moves, Air Force One.

Idols: Kasparov, Karpov, Boris Yeltzin, Joseph Stalin

Occupation: Chess instructor, international consultant

Future goals: To become World Champion by the year 2010


Real name: Mansour reboulet

Date of birth: June 14, 1983

Place of birth: Marseille France

Current location: San Francisco California

Nicknames: Mandoer

known personally since 2002

qualities: sensual, femenine

Chess: It's thought to be that mansour has only one ability on yahoo and that's being able to click and sit faster than others on the rotating tables. He has no skills whatsoever and has one of the worst records in yahoo chess history for those over 5,000 games.

Occupation: A sensual masseuse for males. "mansour the masseuse"

Favorite Movies: Ghostbusters en francais

Idols: Napoleon, EMORY16376

Future goals: To learn how to play chess


Real name: Brian/Val

Date of birth: August 17, 1977

Place of birth: Los Angeles California

Current location: Westwood California

Nicknames: Buffalo brian, broke brian, brokeback brian

Known personally since 1999

Qualities: psychotic, dishonest, delusional, angry, obsessed, extremely deviant, loner, eccentric, dysfunctional, ignorant, miserable.

Occupation: Web page builder for gay porn industries, homosexual solicitor.

Chess: Pure incarnation of chessic stupidity. Will push all of her pawns at you and then attempt to defend and push. Her tactical skill is extremely limited. Therefore even an unsound sacrifice will nearly assure victory.

Personal bio: Once thought to be a woman, it has recently been discovered that the identity "valerie" 20-something graduate student/internet business owner was actually a fabrication by a homosexual man by the name of Brian. In August of 2003, Brian formerly identified as his yahoo id: was deceived into purchasing a plasma screen tv for $600 by someone from yahoo. Without knowing any information from the online yahoo chess seller, Brian went ahead and sent the money via western union and never received the $4000 worth of stolen tvs that were verbally promised. Simultaneously, Brian was scammed of his background information and it was discovered by many, but confirmed what was suspected all along, that it was a merely a man pretending to be a woman all this time on yahoo chess. I strongly recommend that everyone ignore brian/val and never give any information or waist your time with him.

Favorite movies: The Silence of the lambs, Tootsie, Brokeback Mountain

Idols: Elton John, Buffalo Bill, Shado, therealman777

Future goals: To catch the person who scammed him for his info and $600. (Frankly that seems like a long shot)

Did you know: Brian has been suffering from extreme dementia and post-traumatic-stress-disorder ever since the scam of August 2003?


Real name: Roel Vanheusen

Place of birth: Brussels Belgium

Current location: Rotterdam Netherlands

Occupation: unemployed

Favorite movies: Something forreign

Idols: therealman777

Future Goals: To roel out of bed and start getting life back on track.

Chess: Slow connection, plays for mate, strong tactical ability and well versed in openings. Roel does quite well for his total lack of speed.

Did you know roel and I coincidentally stayed at 2 of the exact same hostels in Panama and Costa Rica? We even used the same showers! But this was a 2 year difference. (Purple backpackers in David Chiriqui Panama, Backpackers in San Jose Costa Rica paseo colon(near museum)


Real name: Ludwig van michoud the 3rd

Date of birth: April 4th 1976

Place of birth: Brussels Belgium

Current location: Brussels Belgium

Nicknames: hambone

Favorite movie: Howard's End,Little Man Tate

Idols: Therealman777, Roel, Al Sharpton, Al-qaeda

qualities: autistic, awqward, unusual, deviant,unhappy

Occupation: Student

Future goals: To move out of mum's house and establish peer relationships and kiss a woman one day.

Did you know: Did you know Syd was actually a member of the Brussels Chess Academy. Unfortunately he was removed from the team when the committee decided it was best for the organization. Ludwig would often have emotional outbursts and condemn himself and his opponents when losing. Since he would seldom lose with grace and lack chess etiquette, the committe felt it was unfair to others to retain him, thus he was ousted. Since then he has turned to yahoo chess to redeem himself.

Did you know: Ludwig was a member of his st. Jan Jesuit's highschool choir for boys?


This King needs no introduction but I shall anyhow.

Real name: Steve Emperor

Date of birth: August 8th 1985

Place of birth: Boston Massachusetts

Current location: Cambridge Massachusetts

Nicknames: Steve almighty, The bostonian gunfighter, the Annihilator, the dismantler, the southpaw gunslinger, the dictator,

Qualities: Extremely strong (multifaceted) Sophisticated, likeable, Allegient towards the good, punishing towards the scum,

Favorite Movies: Braveheart, glory, Saving Private Ryan, Dances with Wolves.

Chess: Extremely proficient in openings and counterattacks, plays very well with knights and puts a deadly affliction of intimidation on his opponents. I have to give this man lots of credit. He quickly became a ferocious and unstoppable player, and gives true wonder to the question: WHO CAN STOP THE REALMAN???
Steve if you're reading this...I love you bro, I wish you all the luck in the world. I will always cherrish the times we had on yahoo. I'll never forget you when I'm gone. We are the southpaw subjucators.


Real name: Stewart Rothschild

Date of birth: August 27th 1985

Place of birth: Scranton Pennyslvania

Current location: Youngstown Pennsylvania

Nicknames: psycho, loser, lunatic

Known personally since: 2002

Qualities: Deviant, awkward, lonely, psychotic, angry

Favorite movies: The boy who could fly.

occupation: unemployed

Idols: Adolph Hitler, che el mexicano, therealman777

future goals: To free himself from his psychotic and awqward identity.

Chess: It's very rare to see utah playing, although he does occassionally. He is quite a pusher and seldom plays for mate.

Personal bio: Raised in an upper-middle class home in Eastern Pennsylvania, Stewart was rejected by his peers and neglected by his parents, who feel love his sister more than they do him. The result was a carefully constructed defensive mechanism culminating in his flamboyant behavior. During the past summer Stewart never left yahoo. He became obsessed with the multi-flood program and disconnected everyone he could. Now he spends his days bedridden, pining for Donald Trump and looking for other yahoo lunatics to receive sympathy.

Did you know utha had a diary in grade school and had actually planned to massacre his schoolmates when hearing about Columbine? His pet goldfish though told him not to.


Real name: kelly gibson

Date of birth: November 8th 1988

Place of birth: Adelaide South Australia

Current location: Melbourn South Australia

Nicknames: kel kel, the little punk, callow kelly

known personally since: 2005

Qualities: Immature, ignorant

Favorite Movies:

Idols: Mel Gibson, Steve Irwin

Occupation: student

Future goals: To not get pumped in the ass by aussie's in the boy's locker room every school day.

Chess: A tremendously detestable pusher, seldomly mates. You won't find many more abhorrant patzers than this kid.

Did you know: Kelly was expelled from one of his grammar school when he stabbed several aussie schoolmates when mocking him about his femenine name.

Common Players:

mike tin
alekhine 98


(in order of disgrace)

utahjazz/led chesselin
the scumbuster/the_king_of_sting
db wrecker
the fly

Posted by planet/emory at 8:07 PM PST
Updated: Friday, 10 February 2006 2:24 PM PST
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