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[RE: bush, don't remember the exact source, didn't realize I'd be quoting it in the future]
"In past years, the Saudis have really put themselves out to help American presidents,"
Alterman said, adding that "they're not really going to put themselves out to help this president."
------------
DOUG:
Very cool about Clinton! Sounds like she's going to have a good day in West Virginia.
Must admit I am for Obama myself, but have absolutely nothing against Hillary.
My only reservation is that she would inspire the vast right-wing conspiracy to pick up where they left off with Bill ...
and we really do not need any more of that.

RESPONSE:
I hope so, she HAS TO win, we NEED her..
she's tough (she weathered the storm with bill), they already balanced the budget before
(granted it'll be quite a bit harder now, but I think she can do it), and she has second hand experience.
also, I remember when bill was first going into office, he was going to hit the ground running and over a period of time his whole countenance fell..
I think he was learning who REALLY runs the country.. [href-jfk]
obviously he would have told her and she's still going back into the fight..
she has a plan.

could you refresh my memory ?
(right wing conspiracy ?)

DOUG:
Believe Hillary actually popularized the term, but it was always sort of floating out there.
Basically refers to the fact that certain Republicans had an unreasoning hatred of the Clintons ...
and were constantly yapping and nipping their heels from day one. Whitewater, Travel-Gate, Vince Foster, Monica, etc., ad nauseam.
They never let it rest ... all the way through a ridiculously frivolous impeachment.
(Which cheapened that process when we really needed it ...
like for Bush's truly high crimes and misdemeanors!)

RESPONSE:

YES !

EXACTLY !

I've always felt that even tho he accepted their demands, they still kept up with the ballbreaking bullst, [MONICA LEWINSKI KRAP] kicking-a-man-when-he's-down kind of krap after he conceded to their demands.
the nephalim have ALWAYS hated the Children of God, eating away at us with their petty _bullst_, they can't win outright so all they can do is chip away and convince us that 'we aren't worthy' and make us forget our "inheritance".
ane that's exactly what I was talking about, she's fully aware of their babygames and has a plan..
and I'm betting she won't be bending over and spreading.

wow, you're the first person I've talked to who sees it too.
and I agree about the impeachment thing, tho I'm not politically aware enough to know how you go about it.
I've always felt that the irabians have been the ones to watch out for, even before the berlin wall falling (not sure how old you are/if you remember it).
I always said that we didn't have much to fear from the russians, we'd outspend them (tho we really should have bought ALL the nuclear weapons from them after, but the bush-ladens [href-spare change] never really wanted that, did they ?)

those irabians, you accidentally step on their little toe and they'll cut all your sons' willies off in retaliation.
they still haven't forgiven us for the crusades, forgodsake.
if we don't at least START impeachment procedings against the antichrist [href-definition], even as a token gesture on the last day he's in office, we'll be dealing with them for a millenium..
but I don't know how to DO it or I'd do it myself.

it's funny how I can HEAR it when people lie (it sounds slightly off key, discordant),
and I pretty much can see what people are thinking in their face..
but when it comes to politics, I'm totally misfooted by the smoke and mirrors of it all,
thrown by the deceit.
[href-updates:
a) heaven knows what quote.
b) in "living with the lama" {href}, rampa couldn't talk on the phone because what people were saying and what they were thinking was too different]

my dad was the same way, bless his heart..
believed in some of the worst republican lies cus he could't fathom the depths of their evil.

and my husband.. such a naive little babyman.

oh well,
when it's my turn, there'll be a huge welcoming committee (probably sell bleacher tickets :)
:)
--------
TO HILLARY:
[don't think it went thru tho]

you NEED to stress the economy more.
people are scared to death and are making stupid, fatal decisions.
they don't do the math and don't realize how draining the interest is.
they're losing their homes, their cars, practically selling their grandchildren for gas money.
you guys already did the impossible, balanced the budget,
you need to remind people that you will do it again for economic stability.
all the other issues are all fine and dandy, but their shaky financial future trumps it all.

PLEASE talk more about how you'll turn the economy back around (again), I think it's the only thing that will put you back on top.

those batteries bill mentioned needing, they're already available..
watch the movie 'who killed the electric car ?'

if it was easy, it wouldn't be gratifying

DON'T GIVE UP cus WE NEED HILLARY !
"dudess" in tillamook
---
I worked on bill's air force one, I think they let me go cus I was too dang efficient.
I'm now a handicapped widow of a gulf war veteran (suicide), I was homeless for 1.5 yrs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE OCT O8:
after reviewing all this, I have a couple points to make.

1) I'm sure the "irabians" have some very valid complaints against us
(or else, why would they have been "dancing in the streets" after 9/11 ?)
I'm sure we aren't very easy to live with.

2) I registered as a democrat specifically to be able to vote for hillary.
(and I'm not really positive that she didn't win [href- uncounted])
now I'm being bombarded by JUNK from the democrats, ("vote democrat" bumper stickers, phone calls, requests for donations, etc)
and I think that if they're so stupid as to back obama, then they deserve what they get.
if she was running with him, it would have been different
but to vote for someone simply based on the colour of their hat, is fokking insane.
I was highly offended when I was sent a BUMPER STICKER pressuring me to URGE other people to vote for someone simply because they're democrats.
if I had to choose between mccain and him, it would definitely be mccain.
but I believe I have to vote my conscience and STILL vote for hillary,
even tho she doesn't have the backing of a mass of idiots.

3) the AIG bailout:
tossing gasoline on the fire, man
FIRST of all, THEY HID RISKY INVESTMENTS FROM THE AUDITORS.

HELLOOOOO...
why would they have done that unless they knew it was wrong ?
this, by itself, is reason enough to NOT do this.

"the government bailed them out to prop up the economy":
I can't even BEGIN to say how I have issues with this on so many levels.
gasoline on the fire, man.
how could it possibly do anything other than make things worse in the long run ?

"people won't be able to buy big-ticket items":
GOOD.
if they saved their money BEFORE buying, they'd choose what they DID spend it on, more wisely.

"they won't be able to buy new cars":
SO ?
they'll take better care of the ones that they already have, won't they ?
and save on insurance in the process.
let me explain.
say you don't have a car at all.
there's carpooling, the bus, walking, bicycling, friends/neighbours that you can chip in on the gas.
you save your money.
you buy someone else's cast off.
even if you have to pay for repairs (which stimulates (BTW) the mechanic economy, junk yards, parts manufacture, craig's list, newspapers, etc),
it's still cheaper than car payments, full coverage, etc.
then when you save up the money to buy a new one (IF you want to, by then),
you'll have a better idea as to what you want exactly,
and won't make be paying for yrs for the extremely costly mistake of listening to a high pressure salesman in a moment of weakness.
I've always thought it was TOTALLY INSANE to borrow money to pay for something that will impress the neighbours.
people would go to thrift stores more, and find BETTER stuff than in the stores, and be more inclined to donate older [href-all thrift stores would have to do is put a sign in the window "accepting donations".
people are basically good and want to help, they just don't realize that they can unless prompted.]
stuff instead of tossing it in the dumpster because they don't like the colour anymore.
landfills will be PAYING US [href-well, not really, but sometimes you have to exaggerate a point to make it]
to dump stuff in them.

the end result would be that manufacturers of EVERYTHING would cater to the demands/wishes of the consumer.
durability wins over "flash in the pan"
functionality over the deceit of perceived "status"
more jobs would open up in the middle (between the manufacturers and the garbage), as demand increases.
BETTER stuff would be made since they can no longer sucker people by calling it "new".
people would finally be getting what they needed and not what some jerk has tricked them into buying.
and everything in life adapts [hey, darwin was more right than even he was aware].
people will have to be more creative to survive, and I can't think of a better incentive, personally.
they would have to take responsibility for their actions, not only temporarily, but for the distant future.
for too long, we've been spoiled.
now, we have to grow up.
it may pinch a little in the beginning, but GOOD.
nothing ever changes unless it hurts first.
financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
[href-as above, so below]
what doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger.
granted, some things have hurt to "epiphany status".. but

and I do not proscrastinate my union with my God. or with that city foursquare.
or with my christ
or with my divine mother
I enter the spirit of the resurrection now.
and if in my tardiness and in my dalliance, my entering in may cause me some pain,
then I WELCOME IT,
for I understand that if I would be ready
then the spirit that is anti-the lLiving Christ in me,
MUST BE BROKEN.[href-cut]

tough love, but real and honest.

so the big picture is that this is GOOD.
GOD TOLD ME. [href- northridge, sunday]

[green] the doctor had a look and said it was normal size so he would have to pay privately.[/green] [i]now[/i] he qualifies for it, I presume.. I think I have a couple (dozen) frames I can post here that I believe you guys might be interested in hearing.. (surprised ?) not sure where to start. ok, here goes. most of the men I've been to bed with hadn't been with many women before, and I noticed some interesting things.. (LOLOL.. you said, "things")---(grow up, dang it.. we're trying to be serious here) one of them was that guys that were right-handed tended to "bend" to the right (except for one guy who said he used the opposite hand because it lasted longer) sidenote: I can't believe they got away with referring to that in "the princess bride" ! (that inego guy wanted to kill farmboy with his [i]other[/i] hand:)), they must have slipped that in. and other sidenote: I snickered when they said that clinton's was bent, but still curious as to which direction (if it was "vertically", it would mean that the urethral tube is slightly too short). well, anyhow it became obvious that when they focused on specific areas (and everyone's different, different areas that are sensitive for them, etc), that area would be larger than others. later, I had a steady boyfriend but then had to go to az for several months, expected him to be with someone else, etc.. when I got back, I noticed he "leaned" and said, "wow, you haven't been with anyone while I was gone, huh ?" (I didn't mean to embarrass him, I was just clinically interested) the next time I left and came back, he was smaller, and still being clinically interested, asked him if it meant that he hadn't been masturbating at all. (apparently, I never learn.. and men are [i]so touchy[/i]) and then was gone several yrs and when I came back, it was absolutely puny. (sorry, but it [i]was[/i]) ok, add to that the fact that there seemed to be some wankers (out of bed, as well as, in) who just knocked it off like they were applying a coat of paint.. all small.. and you start to have a working hypothesis here. to wit: men that stop just short of ejaculation when they're masturbating, actually will enhance their penis size. just like any other muscle, excercise enlarges it, and non-use will make it atrophy. ======== [green]I'm brand new here, too new to know, but I'll remember that :)[/green] LOLOLOLOLOL... you're going to be "trouble", aren't u ? :) [green]I don't believe in reincarnation, as much as I don't believe in God, sometimes I wish I did. [/green] I respect that, [green]But I do respect and sometimes admire those who believe.[/green] and I admire [i]that[/i] I hope what I say doesn't bother you.. (well, actually, if it [i]bothered [/i]you, we could try to figure out [i]why,[/i] and it might be better for you in the long run) yeah, it must be close to "puss-puss-bed time", I'm starting to think in circles and be silly. ================== actually, I think I need to start over. I'm new too, sweetheart.. I've only been here like, a month and a half. [green]I don't believe in reincarnation, as much as I don't believe in God, sometimes I wish I did.[/green] my heart goes out to you dear.. it's hard for me to imagine what that could feel like. and I'm not trying to flaunt it at all, but I've [i]always[/i] felt a presence around me, for as long as I can remember. this reminds me of a story: (sorry, I'm just [i]full [/i]of them) my brother's first wife was a born-again christian (which is fine.. if that's what makes someone happy, then I'm happy for them), and shortly after they got married, our bio-dad had some rental property that he wanted someone to manage. when I mentioned going there, my brother and his wife said, "we don't want anyone who's not BA Xtian to live there".. which really hurt, to say the least. they got divorced about 20 yrs later and I became friends with my ex-sister-in-law, and eventually brought it up. she said that they had been NEW christians at the time, that they didn't realize what-all that meant. that was only a few yrs ago, but it was the first time in my life that I had any idea that it was possible to NOT feel "God" around you/in your heart, etc. the whole idea of "being saved" had always been foreign to me (even at 8 yrs old), and the whole concept of "all of a sudden, 'feeling jesus' in your heart" is still hard for me to grasp. but I'm trying.. ok. first of all, I'm sure that you feel like the whole world is like, "getting the joke", except you. [i]everyone[/i] feels that way about [i]something[/i], sweetheart I was in my 20's before I realized that there [i]wasn't[/i] something wrong with me because I couldn't feel this "jesus in my heart" stuff that everyone was claiming. (some may be just doing the "emperor's new clothes" kindof thing, too, btw) so first of all, I want you to stop feeling "guilty", you have nothing to be "guilty" [i]of.[/i] you feel the way you do about things because that's who you are, and in all of eternity, there never has been, or will be, another person exactly like [i]you.[/i] [pink]<3[/pink] [pink]sometimes I wish I did.[/pink] now, please permit me to tell you that there IS a "God" (Allah/Jehovah/Isis, whatever), and He/She/It [i]loves you.[/i] (for the sake of efficiency, I'll defer to the generic references) it doesn't matter that you don't "believe in Him", He doesn't "hate you" because of it, He loves you and understands what you're going thru. no pressure, no judgement, just LOVE. and He'll wait, He's got time (hell, he [i]created [/i]time) He just wants us to be happy.. and He respects our "space" and when you're ready, He'll be there (He always [i]is[/i]) ok, so then what ? well, first, we all are a little piece of Him.. like a spider plant (they have those shoots coming out of them). it's that little part of you that "clangs" when something's wrong, or "rings true" when something is "right". [i]ALWAYS[/i] listen to that ! that's your "god-self", the stem that connects you to the Greater Self, the part of you that IS "God". there was an incident that happened after the husband died, that caused a wedge between me and Him, and I didn't talk to Him for several yrs.. and then one day, I said, "ok, God.. you and I have had our differences, and I admit that I haven't wanted to be close to you for awhile, but I [i]want [/i]to want to be close to you now. I want that feeling back, like I used to have" (of wanting to be close).. and that was enough. and it took some time (like thawing), but one day I realized that I was saying "Thank You, God !" and was truly grateful. and even tho I'm sorry that I caused Him pain when I was giving Him the cold shoulder, I think I'm a much stronger person because of it. and that's why I say "don't feel guilty about how you feel" when (or if) you want to want to know Him, ask your Godself to reveal Itself to you, and He will. it will probably be a tiny voice at first, but once you get your "ear", it'll be obvious.. that's of course, if you [i]want[/i] it, sweetheart. you might just be a bit of a "late bloomer" [green]when my mother died I waited so much for her to come and talk to me or give me any sign, just any ... but she didn't and I'm sure that if she could have she would have, or at least I like to believe it.[/green] I don't know [i]why[/i] that is I know that my husband and I have specific work to do and our being able to communicate is a necessary tool in that. I know that God is a bit hard-nosed about the whole "faith" bit, and it's possible that the "traffic" is limited because of it.. but now the husband is telling me that it's more a matter of "protection" oh, ok, I get it.. ok, it's like that dude that goes to castles and talks to ghosts. THAT IS [i][b][pink]DANGEROUS [/pink][/b][/i]!!! you absolutely must, must, HAVE TO ask God for protection before, and to ask for it to be only for the "highest good" (it has to do with "seek ye first the kingdom God (heaven ?), and all things shall be added unto you").. there are so many dark forces that can come and go freely if you don't do it right. (slow down, baby, I can't keep up !) ok, in a past life, the husband dabbled in all that.. (medium/witchcraft/voodoo, he's not copping to anything specific) and in this last life, he was a jehovah's witness (complete opposite of the other stuff) but even still, he would wake up with these weird, demonic scratches on him, even tho it was impossible for it to be explained by "conventional reasons". these dark forces followed him in and out of bodies thru the lifetimes and most people would use "talking with the dead" as a shortcut. he says it doesn't matter that you could tell your mom from "someone else" because they would be watching (he says "lurking") and hijack the connection and you would be in danger. your mother loves you and would NEVER endanger you even for the sake of telling you that she loves, cus she'll be there when you cross over.. and besides, you know she loves you anyway. did you know that just seconds before the titanic went under, everyone shouted "I love you !" it's the most important thing that you can ever tell anyone, and anything else is just chit-chat. in the last nanosecond before you die, your life flashes before your eyes.. you see everything. you see how something you said/did to someone affected what they said/did to someone else, and so forth.. like ripples. your mom already knows that you're sorry you accidentally ripped her grandmother's wedding dress, or broke her favourite goblet (or whatever), and it [i]doesn't matter.[/i] all that matters is that you love her, and she loves you, and you already know that.. everything else is just dust in the wind. God Bless You, sweetheart.. I hope you find what you're looking for. [pink]<3[/pink] 2/4/09 [quote from="Jaboulka"]I probably should not intervene here, as I feel this is a particularly delicate subject, but I can't resist.[/quote]...with [i]me[/i] ? on the contrary. I've been considering putting up a post inviting people to try to offend me, so that I can work on honing various skills. [green].. but where I do not agree is that they do not live with the consequences of this decision, etc..[/green] well, for [i]this[/i] lifetime, [i]yeah[/i] ! but even if you say you're sorry, it doesn't relieve you of your karmic debt (restitution, as it were). in his case, he realized his "mistake" on the way down, but of course, it was too late. we discussed the possibility of him being born as my son (he wanted me to give him the same name), so I told him to go ask. he came back later (he was still enmeshed in the concept of "time" then, or it would have been only seconds) he says/said that since he committed suicide, it's going to be a [i]lonnnnggg[/i] time before he can [i]get[/i] to be born again. even tho he's kicking himself now, and there's no way he'll ever do [i]that [/i]again, it doesn't matter.. he's working his butt off, and he's really shining over there (as I knew he would, being such an angelbaby), but as far as being given the privelege to incarnate again.. it'll be awhile yet. and then when he [i]does[/i] finally get back here, he's got a big problem.. he has to learn/accomplish all the lessons that he [i]would have[/i] done, in this lifetime.. only without the benefit of the gifts that he cast away so contemptuously. he was "drop-dead gorgeous" (pardon the pun), so I'm not sure how much of that he'll be able to retain. I'll be over "there" by then, and of course, be helping him as much as I'm allowed to, but he may have to be "an abortion" first (I think it depends on how hard he works on the other side, he says he's working triple-overtime so as to be able to avoid that, and that "being aborted" is particularly nasty). but at first he was in this dark limbo for a long time before he saw "the light".. and he says that it was like something was trying to pull him back, so he had to fight against that.. I'm not sure if it was just him, or because he committed suicide, or if everyone has to go thru that.. he doesn't care to go near there again and find out.. but he says that the white light is "pearly white" (that's why they call them the "pearly gates"), and that we have an assortment of teachers that help us work towards ascending (we reincarnate until we ascend.. just like jesus did). there are "ascended masters" (people who've already "graduated"), angels ("people" who've never incarnated) and "light beings" (not sure what they are, apparently they're hard to describe in physical terms), and of course, other people who aren't ascended yet. I'm several lines into the grey band, here, so I don't know how much of this will be posted without wiping out the internet. (seems ok) there are these things called akashic records.. they record every thing that you think (and therefore [i]do[/i]), every emotion that you've ever had in every life.. the little stinker made a beeline for them (as soon as he found out about them), and looked everyone up.. it was good way to research how everything works, so every once in awhile, he'll pop up and remind me of something that happened in another life that's affecting what's going on at the moment. (last night it was about my left hand, but I need to verify something first) but it's funny cus it's something that is [i]so him[/i] he says that he has to get permission to reveal stuff, beforehand, and it's a huge responsibility, but he's being a good boy and keeping his nose clean. I've known about them and knew that you can meditate and go there yourself (it's a big library-type thing), but it always seemed like more work than it was worth (if God wants me to know something, He'll tell me). so one time he asked me something and I said, "I don't know, go look it up" and told him about them. he came back a couple days later with mixed emotions.. one was like he was all pleased with himself and "I've got a secret" gloating-type-thing and the other was more of an "oooohhhh, I get it now". apparently he had been convinced of something beforehand, and had found out that he was mistaken.. he was a jehovah's witness, so it could have been just about anything. :) I was with my mom at the time and she didn't mind him poking around in her karmic underwear drawer either. cus it's your past experiences that make you what you are now, innit ? hhmphhh.. I seem to have strayed so far off of the original topic that I've forgotten what the hull it was.. oh well, if I'm going to get up at the crack of dusk, I should probably go to bed soon. this is cool (as I accidentally elbow myself out of the way) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRWwI61so5Q&feature=related it took over 2 1/2 hrs to load it (man, I [i]have to[/i] get hi-speed, or something), and I'm putting it here so I can find it later. if e=mc squared, I get the energy part, and the matter part.. but why [i]"the speed of light"[/i] ?? and [i]squared,[/i] no less.. ? oh well, I'll figure it out someday. if there's anyone still here, don't mind me, I'm just talking to myself:. ================ if you fok up, just point out the fact and carry on (I've only seen cat's meow/d2k/glorious/the wild, so far, so my info is limited) are you ok, dude ? I lived with a good man who drank himself to death, there's a harsh edge to some of the sound of your voice in the later stuff, and that worries me. you had/have (in the wild) what I call a "proprietary stomach" that husbands get, so you're obviously with someone, but sometimes it's all a superficial show. you might have just been going thru a roughpatch about then (2004 ?), (there's not a wide selection at the library, so it's hard to tell) but I just need to know that it's not like a marilyn/janis/harlow situation where we find out after they've died, just how much despair they were going thru and nobody bothered to tell them how much we love them. excerpts from previous messages I've been meaning to send: burnt toast they give you charcoal to absorb toxins.. so it should be good for you, rather than carcinogenic. throwing the ice cream at the nazis: "NOOO, not the LOWFAT !!.. we're trying to KILL them" I'm sure you're so fed up with being analized, but if you'll indulge me for a tad, I'd like to put my 2c in.. I'm sure people have said, "oh, you're mom died when you very small, that must be why you're TV" but I think that THAT'S why you like being a standup comedian, it's the instant gratification of the "love", approval, and attention that you crave.. it's "immediate" compared to being say, an actor but I think you 'overdress' (in some people's opinion) because you have a keen and daring fashion sense. I think I'm a couple months older than you and see it as more of a "modern disco" type attire. and I think you look better with makeup. always be yourself. if you're the man I think you are, that won't ever really be an issue <3 dudess ====================== death, please ! I presume eddie actually gets to see this ? I think you're GREAT ! I just discovered you a couple days ago and considering putting you on my 'babyman' list (dudess.com)-(I don't usually do that based on one experience). first of all, I think you look better WITH makeup.. it actually works for you. granted, I'm not exactly an expert on makeup (it's a total pain in the hair for me), and I've never understood 'fashion', but it's actually a bit tame. I think different colours would work better on you (pink frost lipstick, maybe browner eyeshadow, and more of a fuschia/purple nail polish (I mix my own, so I'm partial to the purples) , and your outfit's more something the beatles wore during magical mystery tour than 'women's clothes', ( but that's all superficial (literally). you have a really cool viewpoint, and you are REALLY good at expressing it. your facts are pretty accurate (humour and truth are like royals, interbred), except that it IS pork that humans supposedly taste like, (but that's not as funny as your version) and H8's wives were 'divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived' it's sad that almost nobody laughed at the tunnel king joke, (HOW is that POSSIBLE ???) has everyone who's seen monty python fallen off the edge of the planet ?? people laughing on the backdrop. throwing the ice cream at the nazis: "NOOO, not the LOWFAT !!.. we're trying to KILL them" french got a bit bristlely when talking about cowards.. interesting. cats meow but mostly THANK YOU, for explaining the difference between transvestites and drag queens. always be yourself. if you're the man I think you are, that won't ever really be an issue I'm sure you're so fed up with being analized, but if you'll indulge me for a tad, I'd like to put my 2c in.. I'm sure people have said, "oh, you're mom died when you very small, that must be why you're TV" but I think that THAT'S why you like being a standup comedian, it's the instant gratification of the "love", approval, and attention that you crave.. it's "immediate" compared to being say, an actor but I think you 'overdress' (in some people's opinion) because you have a keen and daring fashion sense. I think I'm a couple months older than you and see more of a "modern disco" type attire. while my guitar gently weeps. burnt toast they give you charcoal to absorb toxins.. it reminds me of the neighbour kid telling me that you shouldn't cut off the crusts of sandwiches because that's where all the vitamins are. there's something you should know for the future, dear: the flu is a virus, and antibiotics kill bacteria (a completely different kingdom, it's like hunting cabbages with a gun). there's usually more good bacteria in your system than bad, so when you take antibiotics, not only does it [b]NOT[/b] affect the flu virus at all, but it's actually making it tougher for your body to fight the off the virus. hope you feel better :)

. first of all, sweetheart.. you're [i]not[/i] weird. that's what I learned from listening to eddie (when he said that most transvestites AREN'T gay..) you have men who dye their hair, or use cologne, or hand lotion, or get manicures.. then there are tv's, and finally, drag queens we're all on the same rope, just in different locations we all have the same desires and urges, just varying degrees of intenseness, or volume, etc. people have a tendency to put other people in categories ("us" and "them") for various reasons. the result is that almost [b]everyone[/b] [i]thinks [/i] that there is "something wrong" with themselves. but they aren't, and neither are you, sweetheart.. we're just human beings, trying to make some sense out of it all. in fact, it's the people who [i]don't[/i] think there is anything wrong (with themselves) who are the most warped and whacked out. ok, where do we go from here ? if you're serious about having your "fantasies fullfilled" (and [i]remember[/i], once they're "fullfilled", you won't have them anymore), then we need to figure out how to go about it. this would depend on whether you "have someone" to work with, or not. if not, there's a website (bondage.com) that's really good (I think I've been a member for the last decade :) tho I haven't had much time to use it, but I've kept it in my pocket anyway) you don't have to actually BE into bondage (I think that's what "vanilla" means), but it's a way to get in contact with others willing to express their sexual emotions, and that's a good start. I'm sure there are others, but the bondage.com has supplied me with everything I need, so I haven't looked elsewhere. if you [i]do [/i]"have someone".. (but are too scared, etc) then I would suggest that you test the waters by asking if [i]they[/i] had any fantasies they would like to explore they'll eventually ask you about yours, and you can go slowly if you'd like.. if you put a frog in pot of water and turn on the heat, he won't jump out, he'll boil first.. a bit gruesome, I admit, but I couldn't think of another analogy offhand. and it's the same principle. and I almost forgot the most important part: ASK GOD. you just tell Him what you want, and believe that He'll give it to you, and He does. only once in a great while does He NOT.. and then usually He'll tell you "why not", if you "listen" hard enough (and don't forget to THANK Him afterwards..) He's a bit of a "show-off", actually and if you give Him half a chance, your napkin will be soaketh (cup runneth over:)) as far as the astrology goes: it only takes you so far.. I think that past lives have as much (if not moreso) to do with our personalities than astrology. there's a book called "heaven knows what" that's really good (in fact, it's the only book I have two copies of) it would be [i]cool [/i]if we could just look up our alternate's birthdate (of which there would be THOUSANDS in the world, by the way), and just track down that person, but it doesn't work that way.. actually, it would probly take all the fun out of it all, anyway I believe that when God "created adam and eve", He didn't create [i]just one..[/i] I think that we are all, "one-half" of the original, like the yin and yang. ok, let me see if I can explain better. I think we were all on the other plane and saw this "physical existence" and wanted to "go play" (eating the fruit of knowlege) now in the biblical story, eve eats and then offers it to adam. adam knew what the "punishment" would be, but chose "banishment with eve" rather than be seperated from her he chose his [i]other half[/i] over [i]God..[/i] and [i]that's [/i]the "original sin".. to have put something before God. (the 1st commandment, the most important, is "thou shalt have no other gods before me") and that's where the problems all started.. we can't go back until we've proven to God that we won't do that anymore, and the only way to do that, is to show Him (and of course, we'd have to [i]want[/i] it). all this is leading up to my story of when I met my twin flame (in this life), but I think I'm running out of characters . ok, here's my story (and it's [i]really cool,[/i] too :)) when I was about five, I started looking for someone (specific). I remember looking in some kid's eyes and going "nope, he's not the one" over and over.. "nope, he's not the one" I must have been in love [i]at least[/i] a thousand times, even tho they weren't "the one". ok, so now I'm a teenager.. I have a dream where I'm in the driver's seat, he's in the passenger's and he's trying to put the car in gear, but can't. I'm still falling in love a lot, I have boyfriends, etc and eventually give up "looking into dude's eyes" over the yrs.. so I'm pushing 30, go over to england for a couple months, meet a guy.. his mom is dating my bio-dad and the three of us are eating dinner in avebury (it's like stonehenge, but it's not roped off, and is way bigger.. so big that there's a tiny town in the MIDDLE of this "henge") and I accidentally called her "mom".. I just figured that it meant that they would be getting married and it was like, a precognitive freudian slip. (the henges stimulate your psychic stuff) I visited his mother (hadn't actually [i]met [/i]him yet tho) and needed something to roll cigarettes on (they were 5 bucks a pack back then, I can only imagine what they are [i]now[/i]) and she gave me a newspaper that he was featured as "salesman of the month" or something, in. so the first thing I said when I actually met him, was "I just rolled a cigarette on your face". (didn't know what [i]else[/i] to say, that was about the extent of my familiarity with him, at that point) so I wasn't surprised when he called a couple days later. (a lot of guys go "ooo, she's [i]weird[/i]" and stay away from you like you're on fire, but the [i]interesting[/i] ones call you). one of the things we talked about, was "driving".. after we hung up, I got to thinking.. in england, they drive on the other side of the street. the driver's seat is on the other side... I started remembering the man in my dream.. ... "HE" is "british" ! in my "mind's eye", I looked into adrian's eyes.. ... HE IS THE ONE !!! then I saw the heaven's open up, just a tiny bit (it was pink light shining from grey clouds..) and I heard the angels go "AAAAAAAA" just like in monty python and the holy grail (32mins into it, where the "grail beacon" is shining) he was five yrs younger than I am , so I had been looking for him ever since he was born FIFTEEN YEARS before I met him, I knew he was british. and then I had to go back to the states.. that was 18 yrs ago (+3 months and a week) and I don't know what happened. I had gotten a kiss, a quick brush of the lips (more like a fairy fart, if you ask [i]me[/i]) (not a "let us kiss with tongues" kind unfortunately) but I had, at least, FOUND him.. and got (technically) a kiss on top of it.. so that's more than [i]most[/i] people have, eh ? I'll be ascending this lifetime, so that would have been our last chance to "be together" (physically) it would have been [i]nice [/i]to have had kids, they would have been like little jesuses, but apparently, it's not "in the cards". my mom had read my cards a few months later, and had said "be careful what you write".. but how could I do [i]that [/i]??? I wouldn't know what [i]not[/i] to write, and if I'm not "myself", then I'm living a lie. and if he's in love with "the lie", then he's not in love with "me".. and if he's not in love with "me", then we would have "nothing". nothing to work with, nothing to build on... nothing. God gave me a really good husband tho He told me that if I didn't marry him, he'd turn into a serial killer.. and I still think he would have, if the circumstances were right.. but that would be whole 'nother post (or TEN), and I have to go for a bit.. if I can, I'll come back and continue :) ===================== (cus I'm just a soul who's intentions are good.. . . . ..oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood) not sure where to start, so I guess I'll just go chronologically.. [green]my dad[/green] was 82, and we were able to exchange a last round of "I love you's" so it wasn't as nearly devastating as it was to my mom.. (I always make sure people know.. my mom and I got in a quarrel once, she hung up and I called her right back and told her I was sorry and if anything happened to her, I didn't want for that to be our last words) I've always had a connection with [green]my husband..[/green] he'd be in another state and I'd know what he was feeling and know when to call him home.. we had a "game" that we played, he would be in the other room and [i]think [/i]his half of the conversation he was a brat, had a tantrum, and committed suicide. after a bit, he got reorientated and we were able to continue on as before. he tells me things like "the white light is actually pearly white", (that's why they call them the "pearly gates") I told him I was still going to kick his ass when I got over there, and after a bit, I asked him when I can come over.. he said "when you no longer want to kick my ass !" :D he was joking (I think), but we still talk a lot, so it's not that bad.. and there's really no space and time (it's an illusion) and I have a lot of loose ends to tie up before I can take the next step, so I'm pretty busy it's just that I haven't been able to grab a man's ass for so long now.. and the kissing.. definitely miss the kissing. [green]experience in Britain[/green] nah, it was [i]great ![/i] they had to practically drag me out of there. I've always been an anglophile (in fact, that's how I met my husband.. I had put up a profile saying "looking for english dudes.. where are all those suckers hiding ?" and he answered) and I'm usually naked, so when they strip-searched me, they were more embarrassed than [i]I [/i]was I had a hard time keeping a straight face. I know more about english history than american now, so I would jump at the chance to see all this stuff in person (and see avebury again (it's [i]waaay[/i] better than stonehenge), ..and the rollright stones again, and king's cross station, and.. etc) as far as [green]"strapped for cash"[/green] goes: it's more a question of pacing myself.. I don't go out and buy something, just because it strikes my fancy.. I research the prices and buy them on ebay, or thrift store, yard sales, etc. I'll probably splurge on netflix when I get back, or they probably have quite a few at the video store, to hold me over I only own 2 dvd's so far (harry potters, cus it was cheaper on ebay than late fees at the library) as I was saying, I'm glad that eddie's stuff doesn't depreciate (like pink floyd), even if it means I have to pay more for them. and I like how half.com has the release dates, so I can more effectively target (thank you) I agree completely about [green]"being with someone"..[/green] at first, the husband kept pressuring me to remarry (I think out of guilt), but there just haven't been acceptable candidates around. he had a hard time understanding what real love is (his mom watched a lot of soap operas) until after he died.. (well, technically.. it was just starting to dawn on him, he didn't feel he deserved it, got scared, and jumped..) I tend to have that effect on men (:) see the pic of my cat ? pure ecstasy), and he just couldn't handle it. so I can't just go spreading it around indiscriminantly.. (and james mason's going "you need to practice [i]responsible[/i] euphoria next time..") as far as [i]you [/i]go, I'm proud of you sweetheart.. when I was growing up, if you weren't saddled with a husband and a brood of kids, there was something [i]wrong [/i]with you. (not as bad as my mom had it tho, she was 24 when she married my bio-dad because she was outside the "social norm") it sounds like "you kids today" aren't allowing yourselves to be pressured into life decisions in order to stay in "the social herd" I'm really glad to hear that (tho, I'm curious as to what kind of car you drive, and [i]why ?[/i] :)) that's why I think eddie is so important to the world, he's a role model for "being yourself" [i][b]and[/b][/i] "accepting others' right to be so" but in general: I think that there's a dichotomy in people.. "do I stay with the herd ?" or "do I be myself ?" too many people make life-changing decisions without analyzing the motives driving them. some people "need to be with someone", but [i]most, [/i]not as much as they think they do. ..and he mentions during the shower control bit, that you can just turn it on from where the last person has left it, (not to mention the "proprietary stomach") so I'm sure he's fine there.. not an [green]"alcohol problem"..[/green] I don't know, it's just that there was something in the tone of his voice that people get that [i][pink]causes[/pink][/i] them to drink heavily.. (I'm sure it was during the voice-over of the extra bit, when he's talking about himself) I get that way, myself, sometimes.. it's not "depressed", it's more like "despair" I use alcohol like medicine, and sometimes that's the only thing that works. once or twice a yr, I'll get shit-faced and then go about my business. it's not a "problem" (I drink, I get drunk, I fall down... no problem) for some people it [i]is[/i] (I'm not insinuating eddie in this category), but then everyone has different levels of despair. my significant other (before my husband) drank himself to death, for the things he went thru his whole life, I don't blame him. I've always said that there are two types of people: 1) if you hurt [i]them,[/i] they hurt [i]other[/i] people.. and 2) if you hurt [i]them,[/i] they hurt [i]themselves..[/i] I'm just saying that I think eddie is in the second category, and little things that don't mean much by themselves, can add up to an emotional maelstrom ( or "eddy", if you wish.. an "eddie eddy" ?) and I have a hard time turning away from things like that. [i]("..on the turning away.. from the pale and downhearted..")[/i] [green]I first saw "cat's meow"[/green] I was researching a hypothesis about hearst and had checked out citizen kane, RKO 4_(mumble, mumble), and that was in that lot. I always read the actor's credits and recognized his name on a list of new dvd's at the library, so I requested it (dress 2 kill) without seeing the cover. I have to admit that my first impression was a raised eyebrow when I got it, but decided to give him a chance (like I do). I was only halfway thru it before I was back online, looking for more of his stuff. they only had glorious, so after seeing that, I did a deeper search.. that brought me "the wild", and a book about the izzard's family excursion in syria or something (I think it's called "a walk in the mountains") (it's the country [i]next[/i] to syria, actually.. but anyway) I'm thinking "born in yemen", it's about the right area.. must be his mom and dad.. I was halfway thru that dang book before I realized that it [i]wasn't[/i] it was interesting (what I read of it), but I also had some physics books that were overdue and I didn't want to have late fees of the two so close together, in case some "official" got the wrong impression, so I had to turn it in. (everyone knows that "black" absorbs heat.. but did you know that it WORKS IN THE DARK also ? I'm trying to find where I read that several yrs ago) but anyhow, I see your point about a serious acting career, and I agree.. (and about tom cruise, tho I don't know him personally, I doubt if he'll ever make it to the 'babyman' list) hopefully it's a good sign and I was just being a worry-wort. [green]"transvestite on vacation."[/green] I heard that.. I have a hard time keeping my nails polished, let alone the rest. [green]full bottle of water [/green] say what ? (I don't get out much) :) ------------ [green]psychoanalyze the man - we all know what happened the last time that got started...) [/green] sorry, I've only been here a short time (and don't have cable, or read the newspapers, etc), and I'm not trying to be obstinant when I say "I don't" may I ask what happened, please ? [green]who among us are? [/green] personally, I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. (my mom gets more beautiful all the time) [green]he's become more relaxed and groovy [/green] well, [i]that's[/i] good ! I'm sure you guys know more about it than I ever could.. thank you ! :) [green]go to theprezzie.com [/green] I did that a few weeks ago but didn't understand it. (it was after dec 15, but before the pics were up.. I think.. or I couldn't get the pics to load..) so it's a birthday card ? (and who is "prezzie #1" ?) thank you guys, for your help (and for easing my mind) :) =============== I'm glad that you have someone special, sweetheart I apologize for the double post, it keeps telling me that I have to be 18+ to post and I wasn't aware that it had already. being eddie vs being like eddie: yes, I stand corrected.. but still believe in the principle of it (tho I admit that I'm often anal when it comes to semantics) I agree, he's all those wonderful things.. but I'm talking about the steam behind what causes all those things to manifest. you just don't become that calibre of human being without going thru fire first. england vs texas: when I was in england, I would walk down the street and (mostly) men would yell, "JESUS CHRIST !!" I would turn around, say "fuck you" and they would realize I was american and then they would seem to be ok with my weight. but it's never happened in the US knowing who his real friends are: hmmm.. the jury's still out on that. is he with someone ? I'd feel better in general, if he was/is I don't know how to go about finding out, especially without invading his privacy. not that there would be much I could do about it either way. and it's not really any of my business.. I just would feel better if I knew he's happy. maybe I'm feeling a bit wrong-footed, as for the first time, ebay's failed me. izzards are $15 each (+ or -) there just aren't any discounts (which I'm glad for, in the sense that it means that I'm not the only one who appreciates him) people just aren't turning them loose, and if they do, they're being snatched up. the library only has dress 2 kill, glorious, the wild and the cat's meow. I've requested more, but it takes time I can buy one at at time, so maybe you guys can recommend which one to start with. the comedy stuff is great, but I'm looking more for stuff that would let me know that he's happy. in the movie "chaplin" with robert downie jr, charlie finds out that the love of his life has died and his friend says "what do we do ?".. and chaplin says "smile" then there's the music of "smile while your heart is breaking".. I need to check out "the wild" again, cus it was in there that I started worrying.. like he had been drinking heavily or something and it's a little unnerving that in all the recent pics of him, he's dressed all butch. he's been tv since a little kid.. so why isn't he "being himself" NOW ?? ever since my husband died (2002), and my dad last yr, "men that I trust" are pretty thin on the ground. and it seems like every man I've ever loved, dies on me. and maybe it's because I got married almost a decade ago and am not as recovered as I thought I was. (tho I've had more than my fair share of real love, and not sure I have enough time left to "run around the track" again) (also I'm running out of time because I'll be gone for two weeks and will be temporarily eddie-less) ..maybe it's that time of month. ..maybe his "little boy" moments are bringing out the maternal instinct in me. ..maybe it's something astrological, like saturn's beating up neptune in the seventh house or something. I'm going to dig out my "heaven knows what" book and do his chart.. I'll have to get back to you on that. ps: what's this "prezzie" thing I keep seeing around ? pps: aQueen: thank you for posting that.. I keep watching D2k and glorious over and over, just waiting for it not to be funny anymore, but no help.. like monty python, it just never seems to fade and that hospital visit bumped him from "maybe babyman" to "babyman".. (tho I still have to update it on my site) making him the fastest man to make it to the "babyman list" ever. PPPs: LOLOLOL,, poked a badger with a spoon !! that cracks me up every time ======= . well, dear.. you should dress like that [i]ALL[/i] the time, then. :) as to the other things, I'm in various minds.. as to being a comic genius: of course, it would be nice.. ..until I got in an argument with someone. then it would be a 2-edged (hot) sword, slicing thru them like warm butter. ..and I can't see how I could avoid being shoved into the limelight at some point and as soon as [i]that[/i] happens, you automatically have somebody hating you for some reason or another. as to charming and beloved: it's hard to tell if people are sincere in their admiration, especially if you're famous. of course, it's pleasant if you have a small circle around you, but then there's not much opportunity to grow personally. it's the strife in life that allows us to make any progress, and ultimately appreciate what we've achieved. bravery to be who you are: again, a 2-edged sword. there's a lot of angst and self-doubt that mirrors this. and actually, everyone [i]does..[/i] only, it's not really "bravery".. you just get to the point where you just can't pretend anymore, and you are like popcorn. fascinating friends: birds of a feather, dear what's fascinating for one person, isn't the same for the next. your friends are fascinating just by definition (otherwise they'd just be "aquaintances") and if you find it difficult to be alone with yourself, then most likely, others will find it tedious as well. one of my best friends lost her mother last week, and was crying when I called her. without trying, we were soon laughing.. we have that effect on each other. but we also can accept each other's limitations without judgement. (very important) I've never been much of a traveler.. I spent 3 months in england once, was strip-searched on the way out, and almost kissed the ground when I got back. I didn't really want to leave at the time, and would go back in a heartbeat, but still.. not without some trepidation.. eddie as a fashion god: you can't "be yourself" if you do. it's either one or the other. you can be [i]inspired[/i] by his fashion, but in order to be yourself, you'd have to "do your own thing" whatever is "right" for [i]YOU[/i] be eddie: everyone's like a snowflake, so it's impossible. (and I can't help thinking of "being john malkovich", a truly [i]weird [/i]movie) :) but even so, I don't think you really have thought this one out. to "be eddie" would be as unsatisfying as being anyone or anything other than who [i]you[/i] are. and more importantly, you don't know what's going on inside him. it can't [i]possibly[/i] be easy, especially in england. over there, if you stray (even a tiny bit) from "the social norm", you are [i]looked at[/i] it's a very distinct, disapproving look that they use to keep each other in line. (offhand, I can only recall the end of "pink floyd's-the wall" as an example) and even moreso: his personality doesn't just appear out of nowhere, his inner turmoil must rival a lava pit, and tempered like steel from the pressure. I'm really worried that it may be a situation like with marilyn monroe.. that everyone around is saying "oh, we love you, we love you" and in reality they're applying the vasoline so that they can get what they can out of them, and we don't find out until [i]after[/i] they're dead what they were going thru. if he's a good man (and at this point I'd bet [i]money[/i] on it), he'd be gullible and even [i]more[/i] vulnerable to the unscrupulous, and even less likely to be able to trust someone to cover his back. and then to add icing to the cake (or death), throw in a liberal handful of "increased stalker possibility" for being famous, and another for the nature of his fashion choices. noooo, my dear.. I do believe you haven't thought this one out. the best way to be an example of how to live one's life, is to do just that. [i]God Bless You and Good Luck[/i] [pink]<3[/pink] ========= . no, sweetheart, you're [b][i]not[/i][/b] asking too much. I get disheartened also, there's so much pain in the world. and people get numb and don't care anymore.. and the John Lennons are being picked off like flies.. and previously decent people are turning into ravenous wolves. and the evil-ones are getting away with murder, or worse. but if we give up, then the darkness wins. if we don't stand our ground, the darkness wins. if we're not there to protect the candle from the storm, it can't be passed on to those who come behind us. and we need to be an example to those who are stumbling, or have lost their way. but I think the dark forces are actually LOSING. why else would they be fighting so hard ? they've been content to nibble away at us for so long.. why are they attacking so viciously NOW ??? they [i]must[/i] know that eventually people are going to turn around and say, "hey wait a minute !" and when the going gets tough, the tough get going.. etc. as for me, I don't care if the darkness succeeds in blowing out the flame, they're going to have to pry that candle out of my cold, dead, fingers.. I couldn't live with myself otherwise [i]God Bless You, sweetheart[/i] keep the faith. [pink]<3[/pink] ============= I have never been divorced, but many, many in my family have been. After tax returns, my husband are meeting with a lawyer to update our will. We will disinherit our oldest daughter. Hey, it has been 16 years, and she is having a ball. There are two reasons. She is academically lecturing, editing, writing...supporting and living her beloved life of Paganism. We had to disinherit our son, because he is on disability and medicaid and his money would be drained by the government and he would have to reapply. He has a psychiatric disorder that is well maintained. He is a great guy, and been doing well on the same meds for 15 years. Our money could be well used by him, as a descretionary fund given to our younger daughter, Andrea. Fortuneatly, we have a spare daughter, who has a Ph.D., and up to the task of executor some day when we are gone. While Meredith, ouroldest daughter, is educationally high up there, from all the info we have gained, she has never been able to nurture "compassion". My husband and I have to close that chapter. While it may be many years before we are both dead, we want to be at peace. She will receive her copy, there are ways to reach her...especially if it is on a law office's stationary. I have many pictures of all of them, from the time they lived with us...one especially beautiful, was taken of Meredith, after three years of teeth and jaw straightening. She has beautiful hair, and big, brown Italian eyes, the portrait is a joy to look at. While we have been tossing it around for years, it is closure, and a relief in some ways. There are other happy things to concentrate on. So, if you have been through a divorce, you may well understand. If you haven't, bless you...one more reason to be thankful. Just wanted to share, it should lift my mood considerably in 2009. . and what ? you're looking for a lawyer ??? [b][i]HERE ?? [/i] [/b] methinks the son isn't totally disinherited, what with that "psychiatric disorder" you mentioned. if your "spare" daughter was gay, or your son a transvestite, you'd disown them too, eh ? of course, it's your money.. and you have the right to try and manipulate whomever you choose with it. if she's been 'having a ball' for 16 yrs, then I'm sure it won't bother her too much she obviously does have compassion (altho, God KNOWS where she got it from), just NOT for your petty, narrow-minded distortions of what is "right" and "wrong". you're actually doing her a favour, since your [i]dirty money[/i] would leave a sour taste in her mouth. and you relieve her of any pretense that she is a slave to [b]your [/b]ignorant religious cult.. (even tho it's "practiced" by most [b]hypocritical [/b]americans, [b]IT IS STILL A CULT[/b]) she's living the life [b]she believes in[/b], to the [i]fullest[/i], it looks like.. tell her that she's welcome as a [i]sister[/i], in my house, any time, any hour sight unseen. you speak of "being at peace".. do what [b]you think[/b] you have to do.. but just be aware that you run the risk of being [i]less so[/i], in addition to "not being in the position" to do anything about it. my brother wants kids but can't afford to get his wife's tubes untied. I've tried and tried to get my mother to will my "share" of whatever money is left to HIM, since it'd be more of a hassle than it's worth (I'm on ssi (600/mo) and it would just be a nuisance to spend it, since I have 50 of everything I've always wanted, anyhow, and no more space) but she's not very compliant. my mother is blessed with what she considers "poverty".. she knows that when I call her, it's because I LOVE HER and not because I want something out of her. and I call her OFTEN. I feel sorry for you

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petunia:
admitted jealous of lily and actually came close to telling hp she was proud of him

WEASLEYS
arthur:
muggle liason office (dudley works for him), high profile, met the queen (tho weird question, not welcome back unfortunately), among others

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be an expert in sex

tithing and sacrafices

proverbs 6
16These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

18An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

19A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
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