I'm trying not to do anything stupid. (You know what I mean.) I know it won't accomplish anything, but sometimes it's just hard to reason. I still have urges and I feel so week and useless for it. Thanks for wanting to help me though. You are a very good friend.

I don't regret the kiss, but I admit that I'm upset about the way things are changing. I got on messenger last night and almost instantly B went offline...I guess it might have been a coincidence, but I doubt it. We still haven't talked and it's been five days. I wish he would just get his life in order. I feel weird, I still want to be his friend. I want to see him and talk to him everyday like I use to. I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should even be saying this stuff to you. Fuck I feel like such a loser...I'm sorry. I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

When you told me that you didn't want to make things worse by saying you want to be more then friends, well you didn't make it worse at all. In fact the opposite. It made me feel a lot better. It makes all of this worth something. I don't know how I got lucky enough to have someone like you in my life.

I don't want to mess up my friendship with B even more, or your relationship with him either. But I also want to persue something with you. I can't say yes and I can't say no. It is the most unfair situation. Will you help me figure this out?

Ofcourse I want to see you this weekend...did you even have to ask? I just reread this and I hope I don't sound to pathetic (LOL) but I guess you already know how pathetic I am anyways...(I'm kidding, well kind of)