*** --- that which does not threaten my existence can only be a lie or a lesser degree of severity i won't be able to heal your wounds once you discover the truth that i inflicted them upon us both --- i just want you to not hate me when this all turns out to be the worst decision you've ever made --- it's sad to see you so happy in this chemically induced sanity --- my hands are shaking bile is rising in my throat and i think i better eat more colorful things because if i throw up i at least want it to be pretty --- my self-esteem is already fragile enough without being surrounded by people like me --- don't pull his puppet strings to tight they might break --- you offer your hand to shake i offer my heart to break --- i debated the question regarding my pills how many are to many? five ten or twenty... --- i'm not being fair to you... when all you want to do is know know what is happening and all i want to do is pretend pretend everything is ok or the same or completely different but not the truth --- not caring usually works... --- there is no logic in swallowing pills or dragging razor blades across your skin except when the former prevents the latter accept when it doesn't --- i keep telling myself the moment you let them get to you - you lose how does this apply when you're already a loser? --- -"I thought you said I didn't do anything wrong?" -"Not until you started defending yourself." -"Oh, did I drink to much liquor or not enough?!"