that which does not threaten my existence
can only be a lie or a lesser degree of severity
i won't be able to heal your wounds once you discover the truth
that i inflicted them upon us both
i just want you to not hate me when
this all turns out to be the worst
decision you've ever made
it's sad to see you so happy in this
chemically induced sanity
my hands are shaking bile is rising in my throat
and i think i better eat more colorful things
because if i throw up i at least want it to be pretty
my self-esteem is already fragile enough
without being surrounded by people like me
don't pull his puppet strings to tight
they might break
you offer your hand to shake
i offer my heart to break
i debated the question
regarding my pills
how many are to many?
five ten or twenty...
i'm not being fair to you...
when all you want to do is know
know what is happening
and all i want to do is pretend
pretend everything is ok
or the same
or completely different
but not the truth
not caring usually works...
there is no logic in swallowing pills
or dragging razor blades across your skin
except when the former prevents the latter
accept when it doesn't
i keep telling myself
the moment you let them get to you - you lose
how does this apply when you're already a loser?
-"I thought you said I didn't do anything wrong?"
-"Not until you started defending yourself."
-"Oh, did I drink to much liquor or not enough?!"