Getting Serious
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: weight loss KITA!
Getting back to the weight loss journey...too many excuses...too long...

Today I am 220 (approx.-the scale changes everytime so I am doing an average of all 5 weights or taking the one that appears 3+ times).

I was cleaning out the storage area the other day and found some old pictures of me. They brought mixed emotions and even though I was a slightly sad and neglected little girl I was more confident than I am now. I couldn't help but ask myself what was different about then. No answers have been decided at this time...LOL, like always. I am going to steep myself in the question for a little while and look for the same confidence as that beautiful teenager! I will add the pictures as soon as I can scan them.

Some thoughts I had were that my weight is cause for me to have a lack of confidence. Not to mention I am not what I was going to be as an idealistic teen. Some would argue that I am more than I ever thought I could be. I could say that I am in a better place in a couple of areas then I ever imagined I would be. I have an awesome, supportive husband, he looks after my needs and desires in only a way he can. I have only 2 living children but I was blessed with six others even if they didn't survive. There is an inner strength I was lacking as a young woman, I no longer sacrifice myself in order to please others. I don't let others take advantage of me as I did then. Maybe I am not a photo journalist for National Geographic, and I am not the owner of a business dealing primarily with healing eating disorders, and I am not a lawyer...as soon I discover my purpose I am equiped with the strength to pursue it an be successful.

In the meantime (MUUUUHHHHAAAAA!) I can work on my weight and my outward beauty. It is possible for me to regain the body I once had in a more mature version.

To Do:
*Figure WW points (again)
*Buy healthy food to keep in the house-having NO food is not working
*Keep healthy snacks/salads prepared in the fridge for the hungry/snacky times
*plan the meal menu fo rthe family
*scan old pics and post a combinatio of them and more recent ones