She was confused, like all of us, when he died. Lucky for me, I’d faced death as a leader before, and I knew a little more about the motions of loss and the feelings of guilt. Not that it made it any easier to bear.
He died in battle, like all of us knew he’d want, but it was still such a waste. The first few weeks after a death like that are always trying. You question things you didn’t used to think twice about.
Teyla took it pretty hard at first. I was worried about her – she had dark circles under her eyes and I never saw her eat. I’d try and talk to her but she’d push me away. But after a while something changed, and she began to smile again. I’d catch her with a wistful look on her face when we’d visit someplace wild. Trailing her fingers over grass, staring up at the canopy of leaves, cocking her head at a fire, and gazing at mountains. Just gazing, as if she were waiting for something.
I’ll admit it, I was pretty confused. But she seemed like she was moving on – she seemed to find her balance again, so I let it alone.
One day when I caught her with that wistful look, watching a spider build it’s web, I asked her what she was doing.
“Just listening.”
I listened, too, but I couldn’t hear anything. “To...?”
She gave me a funny look, like she was a priest and I’d just asked what a church was for while standing in one. “A song, Colonel Sheppard. A song in the leaves.”
I can be deep when I want to. Really, I can. But she turned away from me without further explanation and I knew I just didn’t get it. I gave her shoulder a squeeze then went to check on Smith, Ronon’s replacement. She was a good kid, kinda like the Appalachian version of Ford, but boy did we miss Ronon when we were up against the Wraith. That guy was unstoppable, like a tornado or a hurricane when he wanted to be.
I think now I know what it was Teyla heard that day, but I’ll never be sure. Only she’ll know, because I never asked. And I can’t tell you the end of this story, either, because I don’t know how it ends. Maybe I never will.
But you know what? I’m okay with that. It just adds to their greatness in my mind – to their quiet legend. It keeps the mystery and the story alive, and we all can wonder together. And it will just keep on going, like the wind. As it should.
Listen To The Wind
Listen To The Wind Home
II. A Whisper, A Kiss In A Dream
III. Shadows Dance Behind The Firelight
IV. We Thought Our Hearts Would Break
V. It Always Remains
VI. I'm Not Really Gone
VII. High Up In The Trees
VIII. Epilogue: Strong Wind