Here in this household we have many signs of people
getting old. There is no escaping it here. Everyone here is old,
except for me and my brother. Of course my brother is someone who has
the mind of a three year old. I am really the only person at the right
age and the right intelligence for that age.
when you read this list and not realize that three of these are
identical
when the highlight of the day is counting specific kinds of
cars going by
when you tell the same stories over and over again and you think
it's a new story
when you can't hear even with your hearing aid on
when you read the obituaries for entertainment
when you see smears on your glasses, and when you try to clean them
you realize that your glasses fell out of the frames
when you look for things to complain about
when you stop hating old people driving
when you start hating young people driving
when you stop calling people old farts
when the only thing you ever do any more is stay on the computer
when the only thing you ever do is just pass gas
when you start saying idear instead of idea
when you kill bugs with your bare hands for entertainment
when you say something but don't remember saying it - AN ADVANTAGE
TO GRANDKIDS
when you tell stupid, unfunny jokes about your old age
when you call someone you have only met on the internet a "kid",
then find out he's older than you
when you talk to yourself and realize you're NOT interesting
when you go into a restaurant and request the vegetables to be over
cooked just because of the fact that you have no teeth
when you realize how much you say "back in the days"
when you criticize other people for saying it
when the highlight of your day is what you have discovered on the
internet
when you read this list and not realize that three of these are
identical
These are just a few signs of getting old, if you think you have
any ideas about signs of getting old, let me know. I would really like
to hear your ideas.
