Boyfriend Application
Warning: If you complete this form it could be used against you in future arguments, at poker games, if you decide to run for office, and if worse comes to worse you will find it posted on the world wide web for all your friends, family, and co-workers to see.

First Name:________________________________ Last Name:__________________________

Address:_________________________________ Phone Number:_________________________

Age:_____
(please attach copy of birth certificate to application)

Weight:_____ Height:_____
(not what you put on your driver’s license)

1. Favorite movie:__________________

2. Education:_____________________________________________________

3. Do you smoke? Yes No

4. Do you have any tattoos? Yes No
a. How many?_______________________
b. Where?___________________________
c. What are they?_____________________

5. Do you have a piercing? Yes No
a. Where?____________________________

6. Do you have any ex-girlfriends that still contact you through text messages, phone calls, randomly stopping by, or any other method of contact? Yes No

7. Have you ever had an ex-girlfriend stalk you? Yes No

8. Have you ever stalked an ex-girlfriend? Yes No

9. Have you ever gotten back with an ex-girlfriend? Yes No
a. How many times?______________

10. Have you ever bought anyone a gift off of EBay? Yes No
a. Who was it for?__________________
b. What was it?____________________

11. Do you own a car? Yes No
a. What kind?_____________________

12. What is your style?______________________

13. How many girlfriends have you cheated on?_________________

14. Are you currently in a relationship or “talking” to anyone? Yes No

15. Do you play any sports? Yes No
a. If so, what are they?_______________________
16. Would you ever let your date buy dinner? Yes No

17. Where do you live?_______________________________

18. Who do you live with? Circle one: Parents Roommates Myself Ex-Girlfriend Other:_______

19. Do you or have you ever had an STD? Yes No What is or was it?_____________

20. Do you watch ESPN? Yes No How often?_______________________

21. What are your future goals?

22.. How many times a week do you bathe/shower?

___ None (afraid of being sucked down the drain)

___ 1-3 (when flies mistake me for a pile of shit)

___ 4-6 (high hopes of getting intimate with someone)

___ 7 or more (have every brand of shower gel on the market and not enough days in a week to try them all)

23. Do you leave brown stripes in your underwear?

___ Yes, I believe in conserving toilet paper.

___ No, I don’t wear underwear.

24. How often do you wash your bedding?

___ Daily (must be a nympho)

___ Once a week (at the carwash)

___ Yearly (when I get my tax refund)

___ Never (haven’t brought a date home in years)

25. What are your shopping habits?

___ I prefer shopping at garage sales. (leaves more money to buy my booze with)

___ I prefer shopping at discount stores. (can buy ten times more junk food for less)

___ I prefer shopping at the mall. (great place to check out cute butts)

___ I prefer to shop at all the finer stores (until all the credit cards are maxed out)

___ I don’t pay for anything, I just take it.

26. You are driving down the highway and notice your ex’s car pulled over with a flat tire,
what do you do?

___ Pull over and grab my old cd player out of the car while they are changing the flat.

___ Drive by and act like I don’t see them.

___ Blow the horn and yell out the window “It sucks to be you”.

27. What religion are you? ____________________ Do you follow this strictly by the book? Yes No

28. How much porn do you watch in a week? ___________month?___________

29. Would you ever go sledding in a swim suit? Yes No

30. Do you have any children? Yes No

31. Have you ever been with a married woman? Yes No

32. Have you ever been with a woman with kids? Yes No

33. Do you blow your nose in the shower or wait until you get out?______________________

34. Are you obsessed with pictures or picture taking? Yes No

35. What kind of panties do you prefer your girlfriend to wear?____________________________

36. What kind of underwear do you wear, if applicable?___________________________

37. Do you kiss on the first date? Yes No

38. What is your favorite drink?________________

39. Do you like beer? Yes No

I hereby attest and verify that the information I have provided in this application is absolutely true. I understand that any
false information which may be deliberately provided by me may lead to disqualification.


Signature:______________________________ Date:_________________________