A Beautiful Rain

This is designed to be a very simple page to describe my recent feelings as I have been living in Ohio. Most of this has been shared with noone. I could make this site all flashy and "Cool", but that is entirely unnecessary. If you are interested in a site that will help you deal with your lack of attention span reagrding anything with words, then please visit MTV.com or myspace.com as these sites use a ton of flashy crap to keep you occupied and waste your life away. Thank you for your time.

I guess it is time to move on now. I have nothing. I know now that she did not love me nearly so much as I have her. I wish her the best life the world has to offer. I wish to her happiness and peace. I wish to her that her son will grow to be a wonderful young man, much like his mother is a wonderful young woman.

Goodbye.

"And so I say goodbye to this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead."

~Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort in his suicide note.

Well, my internet has been down for something like a week now. I am resuming my update process. I have been a bit drunk pretty much every night recently. Have not much reason to stay sober. I figure as long as I wake up every morning for work, and pay my bills I am good.

I have decided it is really time to go home now. I will be making arrangements for the travel shortly.

I never knew

Collin Raye - The Time Machine

He circled and stared
Nervous and scared
He knew both the thrill and the cost
But he didn't think twice
This amazing device
Was his last chance to see what he'd lost

Now if time is really a river
And upstreams where he needed to be
He set his sights on the past
And finished his glass
And went back in history

To the casual eye it's a barstool
But it's really much more than it seems
A few drinks and then
She'll be with him again
As he sits on the time machine

Like all pioneers
He swallowed his fears
And watched the whole room fade to black
He's dying to go
But he's no fool he knows
How hard it will be to come back
But tonight he's tired of the lonely
And tomorrow will not be the cure
So he'll just slip away
Find yesterday
And spend one more night with her

Now as far as the customers can tell
He's just one more fool
Who talks to himself
But every man in this place would line up
If they knew what that seat really was

To the casual eye it's a barstool
But it's really much more than it seems
A few drinks and then
She'll be with him again
As he sits on the time machine

Just a few drinks and then
She'll be with him again
As he sits on the time machine

A Perfect Circle - A Stranger

Cast the calming apple
Up and over satellites
To draw out the timid wild one
To convince you it's alright
And I listen for the whisper
Of your sweet insanity
W hile I formulate Denials
Of your affect on me

You're a stranger
So what do I care
You vanish today
Not the first time I hear
All the lies
What am I to do with all this silence

Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
Won't you move away you fucking tornado
I'm better off without you Tearing my will down

Chris Cagle - Anywhere But Here

Man I hate you found me here
With whiskey on my breath
I know I should be ashamed
So much for those twelve steps
He said no my son I know you're doing your best
For all you been through, I understand
I only came in here to be your friend
You know she still asks about you
And wonders how you're doing and where you been

Well tell her I'm in Tampa
On the Causway
Watchin the waves roll in
Tell her I'm in Aspen
In a cabin
Finding myself again
Tell her that I'm happy
And I've moved on
Better than I've ever been
Just don't tell her
That you saw me
Drowning in this bottle
Trying to make her disappear
Yeah tell her I'm anywhere
Anywhere but here

It would only break her heart
If she knew the truth
See I told her when she left
This was the last thing I would do
Tomorrow I swear I'm starting over again
I made it this far
And I know how it ends
But she doesn't have to find out where I am
So, if you see or hear from her again

Well tell her I'm in Baton Rouge, Loiusiana
Sellin cars five days a week
Tell her I'm in Mobile, Alabama
Gettin back on my feet
Tell her that I'm happy
And I've moved on
Lookin better than you've ever seen
Just don't tell her that you saw me
Drowning in this bottle
Tryin to make her disappear
Tell her I'm anywhere
Anywhere but here

Tell her that I'm happy
And I've moved on

But let her know that I still care

Man tell her I'm anywhere
Anywhere but here

Oh tell her I'm anywhere
Anywhere but here