The Official Penguin Webpage

Real Ultimate Penguins

Hi, this site is all about Penguins, REAL Penguins.  This site is awesome.    My name is Luke and I can't stop thinking about penguins.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Penguins are birds.

2.    penguins eat ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the penguin is to flip out and slide down hills.

Penguin gear:

Penguin Tux                   Krill   

Penguin Sunglasses

Testimonial:

Penguins can eat anything they want!  Penguins eat ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out and slide down hills ALL the time.  I heard that there was this penguin who was eating near a glacier.  And when some walrus dropped a fish the penguin ate the whole colony.  My friend Matt said that he saw a penguin totally eat some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that penguins have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will bite your head off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Penguins are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Penguins are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start snowshoeing next year.  I love penguins with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about penguins?

A: penguins are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, penguins are very hungry and slippery.

Q: I heard that penguins are always cruel or mean.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other birds, penguins can be mean OR totally awesome. 

Q: What do penguins do when they're not eating or sliding down hills?

A: Most of their free time is spent shedding, but sometime they waddle.  (Ask Matt if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Matt showing off.

He actaully got to pet a penguin at the zoo,

which is bragable.

BrianX's REAL Ultimate Parody index

Link to me, by cutting and pasting the link box!

realultimatepower.net

All material here is the property of Robert Hamburger

Copyright 2005