Ed notes:- Lordy Lordy wonder if ya can get screwed by dissing yer own ? Still all in the best possible taste !!!
Bizare Facts April2006
As a French native living abroad, I reserve myself the right to honesty towards my own kind. Never the less, I must admit that France can be
a beautiful country to visit as a Foreigner, and will try to enlight a few reasons to do so.
Everyone knows that French are the Academists when it come to "food and drinks." In case you believe they have wine with every meals
just for the pleasure of it, you are wrong, it is just that they mostly need the "Gods' Nectar" to create the best sauces.
Immagine what a waste it would be, to open up one of their finest bottles, just to put it away until they need to make the next sauce with it!!!
As we say Waist not want not! So here is the first reason to visit Frogland:- That is unless you're not a great lover of wine' or of course, if you
like your beef to resemble and taste like a shoe sole, as they much prefer it on the "rare side."
Depending on where you'll chose to take your break or long vacation, will make the differance in our next subject the weather.If you are
woried to feel homesick, head for the north. Long faces, stinky cheeses and cold as ice people will be waiting for you there. Green Normandy
for example. So one little word of advice. Go South! Ok Southeners are nothing but business people, but they will recieve you with this
suny big wide smile. Do not kid yourselves. They're only after your sterlings (converted into euros). But at the end of the day this sun will shine on you,
(and out of your bottom if you leave a great big tip).So what the hell, its your vacation so Enjoy! Also if you will cross the channel, do yourself
a favour; do not even try to speak their lingo. You'll be ther luckiest person on earth to be understood, even if you are fluent. None of
them will make sense to you so why bother? The more you try to explain and communicate, the more they'll shout in your face (which you
wanna avoid after they've had a lot of camembert and garlic snails.!!!
Whilst we are in a slimy subject. Lets talk about sex. French are not just good for food, they are also top of the ladder when it comes
to sex! Remember they love a head; oh yes they do! Unfortunately when it comes to women, thats on their beers!!!! If they got
that part right, you'd see a lot more happy frenchmen, having a lay in when they can, instead of seeing their long faces, from 7am,
in bars, already on the booze! 'No comment'. My grandad always said "Marry a cook cause sex don't last". Maybe he wasn't wrong after all.
This goes in the rare list of what French people do not strike about. While they fight about the size of fish which they can catch, they
never get a headache about the size of fish they can get! Personaly being a bird, I do beef, never sushi! Also ask Cantona he sure knows
everything there is to know about sardines. Shame his football stinks! But what the hell; as a 'stranger' in France leave them to it. You book a
short weekend in France and most of the time you won't make it back to your homeland on time cause they are striking. Good old fashion
to claim a long bank holliday, when its not due!
Should I go into sports, Really ? Don't think so............ Football, no comment! Rugby, hey follow the six nations, speaks for itself!!!
After all this I do not feel the need to mention
Honestly, a word of advice 'Stay well away'. France might be a beautiful country, yet its biggest downfall is that it is full of French!!!
- Drive in and arround Paris.
- Fashion which does not fit
- Humor that does not make sense
- The fact that they call ; snails,frogs leggs and oysters a delicacy