WELL, SLAP ME AROUND AND CALL ME SUSAN, WE'RE AT STOP #69! COOL, A BLIMP! BLIMPS RULE! I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING GETTING A BLIMP TO GO ALONG WITH MY UNICYCLE! WE HAVE AN AWESOME BLIMP STORE DOWN HERE IN PADAGONIA CALLED "THE BLIMP PIMP." THEY HAVE AN AWESOME SELECTION OF BLIMPS (THEY HAVE ONE BLIMP), AND EVERYONE WHO WORKS THERE WEARS IS MORBIDLY OBESE! THE BLIMP PIMP'S MOTTO IS "COME BUY A BLIMP FROM A BLIMP!" I'M KINDA SHORT ON CASH RIGHT NOW, I SPENT ALL THE MONEY I MADE LAST MONTH ON CHEESE WHIZ. BUT I'M GONNA START SAVING UP AND GET A BLIMP, IT'S GONNA RULE! THEN I CAN USE MY BLIMP WHEN I SELL MY SPOONS DOOR TO DOOR! I'M ALWAYS LOOKING FOR WAYS TO REINVENT HOW I SELL MY SPOONS. AT FIRST, I JUST WALKED DOOR TO DOOR. THEN I SKIPPED. THEN I CRAWLED. THEN I FREESTYLE WALKED. THEN I ROLLED. THEN I SLITHERED LIKE A SNAKE. THEN, I DECIDED I COULD NOT FURTHER REINVENT MY SPOON SELLING TECHNIQUE WITHOUT PURCHASING A MODE OF TRANSPORTATION. SO, I STARTED USING SOME ROLLER SKATES. THEN I RODE A LAWNMOWER. THEN I RODE A TRICYCLE. NOW, I'M RIDING A UNICYCLE. I HAVE TO KEEP CHANGING WITH THE TIMES, AND EVERYONE'S RIDING BLIMPS NOWADAYS, SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO NEXT. BUT DON'T BE MISTAKEN, I'M NOT JUST BUYING A BLIMP TO USE FOR DOOR TO DOOR SPOON SELLING, AS MOST OF US HAVE DONE AT ONE POINT IN OUR LIVES. I'M ALSO GONNA USE IT TO GET VERNON INTO THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS! SEE, I'VE BEEN TRYING REAL HARD TO GET VERNON TO SET SOME SORT OF RECORD. I FIRST TRIED TO GET HIM TO BE THE FIRST MOOSE TO RIDE A UNICYCLE. THAT'D DIDN'T WORK, I COULDN'T GET VERNON ON THE UNICYCLE! I EVEN TRIED PUSHING HIM OFF THE ROOF ONTO THE UNICYCLE, BUT HE JUST BROKE MY UNICYCLE! NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS VERY MAD AT VERNON FOR DESTROYING MY UNICYCLE, SO I TOOK AWAY HIS FULL HOUSE PRIVALEGES FOR A WEEK. NEXT, I TRIED TO GET HIM TO BE THE FIRST MOOSE WHO WORE A BRA! I PUT MY ALF BRA ON HIM, AND I THOUGHT I WAS ALL SET, UNTIL I LOOK NEXT DOOR AND SEE BUG'S MOOSE VERNONA WITH A BRA ON! CURSE YOU, BUG! SO, NOW I'M GONNA TRY TO MAKE VERNON THE FIRST MOOSE TO RIDE IN A BLIMP! I SAW BUG DOWN AT THE BLIMP PIMP THE OTHER DAY, SO I'LL HAVE TO KEEP CLOSE WATCH ON HIM TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T BEAT ME TO IT! IF HE DOES BEAT ME TO IT, I THINK I'M GONNA TRY TO GET VERNON TO BE THE FIRST MOOSE TO JUMP OUT OF AN AIRPLANE WITHOUT A PARACHUTE! THAT'D BE A COOL RECORD TOO!
