THE FIRST ANNUAL SHARP STICK IN THE EYE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS!
I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE OLYMPICS THE PAST FEW WEEKS-I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THAT BADMINTON AND THAT GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLING! BUT AS I WAS WATCHING THE OLYMPICS, I NOTICED THEY LEFT A VERY IMPORTANT SPORT OUT OF THE OLYMPICS! THEY LEFT OUT OF THE OLYMPICS THE WORLD'S FASTEST GROWING SPORTS SENSATION-SHARP STICK IN THE EYE! HOW COULD THEY DO THAT? WELL, I'M GOING TO WRITE THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE ABOUT THIS. SHARP STICK IN THE EYE IS A REAL SPORT, UNLIKE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING-WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? WELL, SINCE SHARP STICK IN THE EYE IS NOT AN OLYMPIC EVENT, WE HERE AT YEHUDA WORLD THOUGHT WE WOULD SPONSER THE SHARP STICK IN THE EYE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS! WE'RE GOING TO GIVE OUT MEDALS, TOO, JUST LIKE THE OLYMPICS. THE OLYMPICS HAVE STUPID MEDALS. GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE-HOW STUPID. WE'RE GIVING OUT COOLER MEDALS! FIRST PLACE GETS A PLUTONIUM MEDALS, SECOND PLACE GETS A PETRIFIED WOOD MEDAL, AND THIRD PLACE GETS A TUPPERWARE MEDAL! COOL, HUH? WE'VE GOT 16 PEOPLE ALL GOING FOR THE PLUTONIUM! THE CONTESTANTS ARE-
YEHUDA BUBBAHOOEY
UTER BUBBAHOOEY
YVONNE BUBBAHOOEY
OPRAH BUBBAHOOEY
ZEKE BUBBAHOOEY
MAGAWIGO BUBBAHOOEY
VERNON
GOOBER
MEHILDA
BINGUS
BUG
VACLAV THE OX
OUR WEBMASTER
HORRACE
BAXTER
MM13X
THERE'S GOING TO BE FOUR ROUNDS OF ACTION-THE PRELIMINARY ROUND, THE QUARTERFINAL ROUND, THE SEMIFINAL ROUND, AND THEN THE MEDAL ROUND-THE WINNERS OF THE SEMIFINAL ROUND WILL MEET IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, THE WINNER OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME TAKES HOME THE PLUTONIUM MEDAL, THE LOSER OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME WILL RECEIVE THE PETRIFIED WOOD MEDAL; THE LOSERS OF THE SEMIFINAL ROUND WILL MEET FOR THE TUPPERWARE MEDAL GAME, THE WINNER GETS THE TUPPERWARE MEDAL, THE LOSER GETS ZILCH! KEEP CHECKING BACK WEEKLY FOR UPDATES AND HIGHLIGHTS FROM EACH ROUND! NOW-IF YOU CAN CONTAIN YOURSELF, CLICK BELOW FOR HIGHLIGHTS OF THE PRELIMINARY, QUARTERFINAL, SEMIFINAL AND MEDAL ROUNDS!
