We never get any questions. Heck, no one ever visits our site. But, if people actually did visit this site, here's what we imagine they would ask.
Q: WHAT DOES FAQ STAND FOR?
okay, we're sick and tired of this question. if this question is asked again.....you'll be sorry. that's all i have to say.
Q: HOW COME HUMANS HAVE TEN FINGERS AND TEN TOES, BUT ONLY ONE GALL BLADDER?
speak for yourself, i have ten gall bladders. i have my original gall bladder, plus nine spares i keep in my fridge next to the potatoes. it's like my mother always said-it never hurts to have too many gall bladders.
Q: YOU SMELL LIKE A RHINO'S BUTT!
that's not a question. please try again.
Q: YOU SMELL LIKE A RHINO'S BUTT?
that's better. thank you for the compliment.
Q: WHY DOES YEHUDA KEEP REFERRING TO HIS LIVEJOURNAL AS "LIFEJOURNAL"?
live is evil spelled backwards, and yehuda does not want to be associated with anything evil. he wants to celebrate life, therefore he renamed his journal "lifejournal." yehuda chooses to celebrate life by starting fires and robbing banks.
Q: WHAT DOES FAQ STAND FOR?
moose testicles! elephant ovaries! squirrel scrotum! anteater anus!.....see, i told you you would be sorry. ask that again and you'll get more of the same.
Q: CAN I FEED THE DUCKS?
no, you can't. however, you may feed the geese, but do it at your own risk.
Q: HOW CAN I CONTACT YOU IN CASE OF EMERGENCY?
the easiest and fastest way to contact is by carrier pigeon. but, if you're one of infidels who doesn't own a carrier pigeon, you can contact us by email, fax, phone, regular mail or telegram. just simply send us a note by carrier pigeon and we'll tell you how to do that.
Q: I WANT TO BUY A DODO AS A PET. BUT THEY'RE EXTINCT! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
dodos make horrible pets. dinosaurs are much better.
Q: WHAT DOES FAQ STAND FOR?
nutcracker nutsack! unicorn urine! polar bear prostate!
Q: IS IT AGAINST THE LAW TO RUN OVER MY MOTHER WITH MY CAR?
in most countries...yes. here in padagonia, it is legal to run over your mother with a car. you cannot, however, run over your grandmother with a car. but it is legal to run over your grandmother with a tank.
Q: IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO PUSH OVER A PORT-O-POTTY WHEN YOUR WIFE IS INSIDE?
of course not! listen, if your wife is not willing to be tipped over inside a port-o-potty, she shouldn't be your wife. whenever i go out on a date with a woman for the first time, i ask her if she'd be willing to be tipped over inside a port-o-potty. if she says no, i leave her the bill and walk out. that should be your first priority with your wife.
Q: I GO TO SADDAM HUSSEIN HIGH SCHOOL. I FAILED EVERY CLASS MY FIRST YEAR. MY QUESTION IS, IF I GOT ALL A'S MY SECOND YEAR, WOULD THAT GIVE ME A 4.0 CUMULATIVE GPA?
no, you did your math wrong. you'd have a 5.0 gpa.
Q: IF YOU COULD ELIMINATE ONE OF THE 50 U.S. STATES, WHICH WOULD IT BE?
rhode island. it's not an island, and it's not a rhode.
Q: WANT TO COME OVER FOR DINNER SOMETIME? I COOK A WONDERFUL FRIED SPLEEN!
mmm, fried spleen. the best kind of spleen. count me in!
Q: WHAT DOES FAQ STAND FOR?
penguin pelvis! cougar colon! sperm whale sperm!
Q: WILL YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?
yes.
Q: WOULD YOU DONATE SOME ORGANS TO ME? I DON'T REALLY NEED ANY, I JUST COLLECT THEM.
sure, i got two lungs, you can have one of those, two kidneys, you can have one of those, two armpits, you can have one of those. let's see...i don't like my spleen that much, you can have that too. ooh, you can also have my brain. i've been trying to sell it on ebay, but no one's buying it.
Q: WHAT DOES FAQ STAND FOR?
titmouse terd! yak feces! mongoose falopian tube!
Q: WHERE CAN I BUY SOME HIGH QUALITY SPORKS?
spork world is good if you want to buy new sporks. if you want used sporks, go to tootoo's used sporks supercenter. they have by far the best used sporks anywhere. and they also sell chain saws!
FAQ 4-FAQ TO THE EXTREME!
