Pete and Dan's Site of Safety
Pete and Dan's safety tips
Always wear your helmet when eating pizza or any other pointy objects.
Use caution when opperating books!
Always wear elbow and knee pads when swimming, for fear of being eaten by a duck.
Always wear the proper footwear when falling into a pile of pillows, for fear of your head exploding.
Never look a squirrel in the eyes, for fear of it eating yours.
When watching Disney films, always where ear plugs for fear of going blind.
When looking for a needle in a hay stack, remember to use your magnifling glass for fear of poking your eye out.
When surfing wear gloves for fear of sharks biting
off your toes.
When sneezing wear ear plugs for fear of blowing
your brains out.
When in a chat room be sure to wear gloves for
fear of people knowing what you type.
When going to school sit in the chairs for fear of
desks collapsing on your head.
Remember to sit in your parked car and point your hair dryer at passing cars, before you pull out of the drive way, to slow them down.
Always buy extentions for fear of your garage door freezing.
Do not use hairspray for fear of being turned into a giant slushy.
When taking a bath, remember to jiggle the handle, for fear of cats climbing out of your toilet.
When being bonked in the head, beware of silent laughter for fear of choking.
Don't unzip pockets for fear of world war III
Pete and Dan's Manor Tips!
Whenever someone says, "God Bless You" or "Conzutight" after you sneeze, the proper response is "No thank you i am alergic to shell fish".
When sexual acts are being preforomed in a car the driver must be involved, but do not let your passangers bite you for this is considered rude!
Never defenstrate your date on the first date.
Napkins don't taste as good.
THE TIP OF THE DAY:
No Tip Today.
Welcome to the new section of Pete and Dan's site of safety!
Mime Safety
When caught in a lava flow...trap yourself in a box.
When caught in an avalanch...trap yourself in a box.
When falling off a building...trap yourself in a box.
When traped traped in a box...trap yourself in a box.
When falling out of a plane...take out the parachute that you keep in your back pocket.
When falling off a cliff...climb up your handy dandy rope...just make sure your hat stays on...in case of rope failure trap your self in a box.
When taped in the ocean...take out your cannoe.
In case of an emergancy...when all else fails...scream for help...i mean...uhhhhhhh...trap yourself in a box.
Hey, do you wana see your funny tip online? Then email me your tips, I will post the best ones.
Email:
cowboybob14@yahoo.com
Come back to see if we come up with new tips!
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Last updated: 15 AUGUST 2002
