When did Dystopia start?
D: Dystopia started 4 years ago. I was in Carcinogen, Mauz was in Mindrot, Todd was in Confrontation. Confrontation broke up, Mauz quit Mindrot, and Con...I mean..uh..what band was I in?

Is Carcinogen stil around?
D: Yeah, well our guitarist is dying, so we're like... (at this point Mauz and Todd walk in and a brief moment of chaos ensues)

Ya know what Todd, every time I see you, you always look so mad and depressed, is that how you are?
T: Thank you.
.D: He's got hemorroids.

I've never seen you smile on stage.
T: It depends on the...
D: Drugs
T: I go through phases. Sometimes I'll be happy for a couple of days, and then I'll be depressed for a few years. You guys have seen it.
M: We call him bad mood man.

Mauz, is it true that Mindrot is sponsored by Vans?
M: Yes, it is.

Oh my god! Why does Vans want to sponsor bands?
T: Eucharist is too.

Really?
D: We could be, too if we sent in a full color 8x10 glossy...

Why don't you guys?
D: Vans suck.
T: I could use some shoes, personally.
D: Nah, I don't think so.
T: Why don't you buy me some shoes?
D: We ain't takin' no pictures like that. You've got to be kidding me. We got the pictures of him in a compromising position...

I wanna thank you guys for playing tonight and... (Dino crashes to the ground). Oh, my goodness!! Are you OK? Dino just fell over!!
D: I'm gonna go drink. Thank you very much..

Is that it?
D: It is for me.
M: We'll talk more.

Ok. We'll pretned you're still here. Come back when you're a little better. Why did Dystopia relocate to the bay area?
M: We didn't relocate anywhere. We're just kind of existing and still playing music.
T: We're drifting.
M: We're drifters. We're blowing in the wind.

You guys are going on tour with Divisia. Where are they from?
M: They're from Bullerton in Orange County. Where D.I. is from. Where "Suburbia" was filmed. (Dino comes back, bringing Branch with him)

Are they going on tour with you the whole time?
M: No, they're going to Chicago with us.
D: We're going on tour with Grief!

Really?!
T: On the east coast, yeah.

Wow, I'll have to fly out there for that.
M: But, we're going to part our seperate ways in Chicago.
D: Then we're going to Canada, huh?
T: If they let us in.
M: We're going to try to go to Canada.
D: We're going to kill people. For Satan.

How long are you going to tour for?
M: For 2 months. If all goes well. We're keeping our fingers crossed.
D: We're going to die.

And you're taking your van?
M: We're taking Dino's van. Dino got a new van.
D: It runs!
M: My van's still cruisin' around and way cool and all that, but we're going to take Dino's 'cause it's newer adn it's bigger and it has a nicer stereo.
T: Yeah, that's the most important part. But it doesn't have a couch.

So it's a U.S. and Canadian tour?
M: Hopefully.
T: It's up to the Canadian Officials.
M: Yeah, it's up to the border patrol.
D: We're gonna break down 2 shows into it.
T: Hopefully they'll let us out.
M: Maybe they'll sell us our stuff back for really cheap.

They took your stuff?
M: No, but I've heard about bands going up there and getting...
D: Mugged, straight mugged.
M: Hassled by regulations about bringing in merchandise...
D: By pigs!
T: Canadian pigs.
D: Canadian bacon!
M: They catch 'em and they go "we're going to impound your van and all your equipment and you'll have to buy it back from us."
D: If there's any pigs listening, you guys can suck it!!
M: Cops are not cool at all.
D: Yeah especially on tour when they wake you up by hitting you in the face.
T: They didn't hit you in the face, they just picked you up by the ears.
D: Motherfuckers.

I heard in Europe, one of you guys had to go to jail?
M: That was Dino. Todd had to go to jail before we recorded. Dino went to jail right when we got out of the country.
D: And Mauz almost got all of us deported.
T: He never went ot jail, though.
D: He almost got us thrown off the plane because he threw up all in the sink, where they were making food.
T: He threw up in the sink where they prepare all the food because there were people in all the bathrooms.
M: The captain had to call the police on me. He chewed me out and took my passport.
T: The had police waiting at the airport.
D: Then I went to jail.
B: I saw that on Cops. Cops in Frankfurt.

L: They really had the cops at the airport?
T: They brought a wheelchair.
D: They had uzis and stuff.
T: No those were the other cops, the terrorists.
D: Which were the terrorist cops? Which were the ones that chased us across the airport with the...
B: See, you shouldn't write songs about killing Marines.
D: I didn't write that. Bjork wrote it. We stole it.
T: Originally the Sugarcubes, right?
D: No, it was the girl that sang "Oh Mickey, You're so fine"
T: Was that Tori Amos?
D: Tori Anus. Tore my anus?
B: That's a medical term.

Who writes your "Love Earth, Hate People" philosophy lyrics?
D: The what who where?
M: Mostly Dino, but I throw in a lot of the stuff.

L: Your lyrics are really...
D: Stupid?

No!! Everybody loves Dystopia because of your music, but I think it has a lot to do with the lyrics, too.
D: Yeah, they're...
B: All right. Who has their genitals pierced?
M: I used to.
D: I think everyone has at one time. By various instruments. Car seat. Those springs come up right through and poke your nuts.

Are you guys starting your tour on Sunday by playing that party?
D: Actually we're starting the tour by getting in the van.
M: Yeah, it's on 52nd and Shattuck next to the AmPm. We're playing with El Dopa, Ojorojo, Fuckface and Divisia.

When's this coming out? (holds up the empty cover to the Dystopia/Skaven split)
T: Before we leave.
D: You will never see that album in your life.
M: They were supposed to be sent to us from Bill Smith's custom records. UPS.
T: They were being pressed the day after I came up here and I told them to send half of them up here and they haven't yet. So, I'll have to call 'em and talk some serious stuff tomorrow.
T: We're gonna print the booklets this week, probably tomorrow or this weekend. If all goes well we'll have that. If not, we'll probably totally die on tour or something.

L: Are you selling shirts?
D: Herion.
M: They're supposedly going to be done by then, too.
D: Tappin' the vein, baby.
M: Patches and temporary tattoos. Autographed 8x10 glossies.
T: Autographed in blood.
D: We got those Burger King crown hats that you put on your head with our photos on the back. $15.99. Write Mauz's PO Box.

Who has what label?
D: People have called me some bad words before, but I can't say them. He's got the label Misanthropic, Todd. And he's got the label Life is Abuse, Mauz. And I'm just a drunk, Dino.
M: Dino incorporated. He's cheap. He's a slut.

What label is the Skaven/Dystopia split going to be on?
M: Both of ours.

Besides Common Cause, do you plan on releasing anything on lavels other than your own? You probably don't want to go on a big label, right?
M:Well, see, we're first deciding which lawyer we're going to get.
D: Yeah, we need to get a good lawyer first.

L: No, seriously. You know Spazz and Man is the Bastard are releasing 7"s on Relapse, unfortunately.
D: Well, see, we see Relapse as such a small stepping stone in our goal in taking over the world. We're going for bigger and better things. We're getting signed by Sony and Warner Brothers. Relaspe is a big piece of shit. Relapse is nothing. I eat breakfast out of their heads. I use the as bowls, all right?

Do you want to go through the discography?
D: Sure. They fly good. When you throw them in the wind, they go off to the left. If you skip them off the ground they break in half.

What was your first release, the Grief split?
T: No, the demo.
D: Actually, first we did the CD, then we did the demo.

L: Oh, yeah, somebody just sent it to me.
D: What the demo? It just came out!

So after the demo...
M: The Grief split, the Embittered split, the CD that Common Cause did, "Human=Garbage", the split 7" with Suffering Luna that Pessimiser put out, then we've got this Skaven thing.
T: We've got another 7" recorded. We probably won't get it together with everything for about another year. That's about our lag time.
M: Yeah, it takes us about a year to come up with those cheesy pictures that we cut out of magazines and stuff.
D: So by the time time you hear the stuff, it's already a year old. We could be dead, but you'll still be getting stuff from us. Todd's gonna kill himself first so we can get more money. Y'know do the Nirvana thing.
T: No, it's gonna be you.
D: I say it's gonna be you.

And then you're going to start a band like the Foo Fighters or something?
T: We're gonna put all our names in a hat and after we put out like 3 albums...
D: On the last album we have to..
T: Whoever's name gets drawn has to kill themselves so the other 2 can be rich.
D: We're gonna put the blood in the records.
T: In the vinyl.
D: In little blood packets. If you get AIDS, blame Todd.

You guys have been on only one comp. or a couple?
D: Who knows. Bootleg us. It'll get out quicker than Todd and Mauz can put it out.

Does Dystopia write songs from experience or to raise awareness?
D: Both.
M: Mainly from experience. None of us has been in the army, though.
D: No, but I don't care if they come back really. I hate 'em. They beat me up. Fuck 'em.

Is there any difference between the Bay Area scene and the Southern California scene?
D: Big difference.
M: Soap opera.
D: Soap operas. A lot of people got their noses in the air and they're pompous bastards. But there's some people who are cool.
M: Up here in the Bay Area, there's a lot more places to have shows, but after a while everyone goes to Gilman every week and no one really cares if there's a band playing. A lot of out of town bands play and everyone just kinda goes "Nyeh...". Down south it's really hard to have shows.
D: There's such a small scene and everything is so spread out when there's a show, everyone goes, everyone has fun, people go off...
T: It's like that here, it's just cliquey.
M: Everyone has their own thing.
D: I just moved up here, so it's all good to me.
M: I like both places actually. There's good and bad places everywhere. I don't know how long I'll stay up here. I'm having fun right now and I'm really sick of O.C. so, I'll just see how it goes.
D: I like Oakland. I love crackheads.
T: I went to take the bus this morning and this crackhead lady comes up and she was going "Gimme a dollar. Can I have a dollar." I gave her a quarter and she was like "Gimme a dollar. Lemme have another quarter."
M: She needs a torch.
T: She should save up for the right equipment.
D: I've never done it, so...next question.

Who picks out your samples? All you guys?
D: Yeah. We just watch moves and steal 'em. We're not going to say who did it, 'cause if someone wanted to sue us there'd be evidence here.
T: Dino did it.
D: No, Todd did it.
M: Dino's the one who has no money, so he did it.
D: Hey, that's not fair.

Is this your third tour?
D: Yeah, third tour.

Are you going back to Europe?
T: If someone buys us plane tickets again.

Did Common Cause pay for it last time?
D: Sort of. They said "OK, what do you want? Money for the albums or to go to Europe?" So we went to Europe, did the tour and we were still like 1500 marks in the hole after we gave them 1000 marks of our own money. So, we pretty much lost money 'cause we suck. But other than that we had a good time, drank a lot of good beer, smoked a lot of hash, smoked a lot of pot, drank killer beer, cider, ale. Damn! M: I'm not complaining I had a really good time.

What was the response? Were people stoked to see you guys?
D: Some of them just stood there and looked at us. They didn't know who we were. Some people heard us and liked us, some people just kind of stared at us.
M: Shows are a lot different there.
D: People said "Everyone liked you" and I was like "Really? I thought they were asleep!"
M: People come out of the woodwork in every town and show up. It's not going to be like a straight edge show, or a crusty show. A lot of people who live in the neighborhood and just show up.
D: The straight edge shows are a little awkward.

Is it true that when you go to the club they have all kinds of food for you and stuff?
D: Yeah, but we played a lot of squats. It depends on where you play. If you play a club, they treat you like a club. But if you play a squat they usually cook food for you and give you a place to stay and a place to sleep and give you a whole bunch of beer and pay you really well. For 2 bands, we would average about 375 to 450 marks per show. That's about...it's 70 cents to the Deutchmark. So you figure it out. I'm too drunk to do math.
M: No, the Deuthcmark is 70 marks to the dollar.
D:Whatever, I just want to drink, man.

Mauz, how come you left Mindrot?
M: We were just changing to different tastes in music and politics and stuff. I was playing in Dystopia at the time and I just wanted to focus on Dystopia and they wanted to do their thing and that's that. We're still friends.

What do you think about them being on Relapse and getting all big or whatever?
M: Well, that's what they wanted, so I'm happy for 'em.
T: They have really big posters now and stuff.
M: Yeah, that's what they wanted. I hope it works out for them. That's not what I want, so, that's it.

Thank you very much Todd, Mauz and Dino.
M: Thank you, Leia.
T: Yeah, thanks. Dino's drinking.

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