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This is my "as often as I feel like" journal. So all of you can know what goes on day to day in my little world.

28 May 2002

Ok, sorry about the last post...my emotions have been a bit of the unstable side lately. But don't worry about me...i will find a way to adapt. Somehow. I'm just confused, depressed, and a bit self tormented...picking away at my own brain as a crow picks away at his food.
But do not worry, i will live to see tommorow,
Hope and reason will guide my way,
For they are all i have to help me
Through this maze of disarray.
Do not worry for a light is there,
Somewhere.
At the end of my tunnel maybe,
Calling me with a simple stare.
I reach out to grab it as it beckons me,
And it sets me free...


I'm tired...I had to walk 10 miles today, in the blistering hot sun with 1 gaterade. It was not cool. My weekend you ask? Well i think i officially went insane. Going 3 days without talking to a soul. (but myself) Venturing out twice to go eat (notice i only said twice) I lived off oreos, a gallon of milk, and a loaf of bread...thats about it. Other than that i say I am a bit tired...i want to go home. I want to see my family and friends. One of my best friends leaves for boot camp in 7 days and i won't be able to go home and say goodbye, another i cannot speak to....ughhh, my life has turned to shit and i have nightmares about it every night. My life has turned to one kept in dark solitude.....but hey, enough about me...how are you?

 

22 May 2002

Not much today...it was cold this morning and i missed formation because of it. But i didn't get in trouble so it was OK. Basically all i did today was get my Deadly Force Class. I have to go take down the flag today...actually in 30 minutes. Well, i will add more if anything happens.

 

21 May 2002

Well, lets see, what happened today...It all started out OK, for once i was not late for formation in the morning...i thought maybe it will be a good day...Well i was wrong. At about 8 am, i recieved another head injury to add to the ever growing list. Yeah, i was knocked in the head by a large board. (actually i walked into it but that would take too long to explain.) Well the fact of the matter was, i now had a 3 inch cut on my head which started to bleed down my forehead. Needless to say i had a headache - a big one. After yelling various profanities and dancing in circles grabbing my head, i eventually calmed down and continued with my work griping about my headache for the next 2 hours...i didn't tend to the wound and i just let the blood dry on my forehead (it looked kinda cool).
Well, after luch i hoped everythingwould be better. Plus i had a four day weekend coming up and i was going to go home and buy a car and see my friends - well so i thought. It turns out i have guard duty this week...all the way 'till next wed. Basically i just sit around all day and if anyone tries to attack the base i grab all the weapons i can and kill them. But since no one is going to attack, it'll be boring...and i don't get to go home. Thats about it for now...my head hurts.