THE BALLAD OF STEVE-O This is the story of Steve-O, the double-guitar playng Siamese twins from Canada. His dad was Richard Roundtree, His mom was Barbara Walters. He was born in Newfoundland, On double-guitar he never falters. Neil’s the best at the double-guitar, No one could ever fake it. And if you catch a song he sings, You’ll hear “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” When he was a young’n in Newfoundland, Hockey and curling were big in his ‘hood. When he caught a bad virus, He’d visit Dr. Feelgood. At a show in ‘89, his record skipped, Got busted for playing air double-guitar. Steve-O got his Grammy taken away, His dignity he had to pay. The following year, 1990, at the peak of his wealth, Steve-O One and Steve-O Two had a problem with their health. Steve-O One and Steve-O Two were gonna die, There was no good solution, The Steve-O’s had to be cut apart, Or be burned and add to air pollution. In ‘94 they played the Garden, It was billed as a reunion show. They played all of the old favorites, Like “Yo Grandma Eats Yellow Snow.” LIFE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER Well, the grass is green, Shooter McG is mean, Dolemite’s a dude named Rudy Ray Moore, Bubble Boy thought the Moops really were the Moors. I like the Steak ‘n Shake, but I hate the Drake. I like to drink Faygo, Alf was a damn good show. Gary Coleman used to tell us Hey, “Whatchu talkin’ bout Willis?” The guy from Boston Common’s name was Boyd. Son you best Avoid the Noid. He’s comin’ after you, your pizza, ‘cross the land. Just to get a pizza he’d pretend to like this band. Avoid the Noid Avoid the Noid I like to go discin’ but the cops be friskin’, Chevy Chase made a movie called “Funny Farm,” The drummer from Def Leppard’s only got one arm. Eric lost his keys when he tried to bush jump. My all-time favorite shoe was the Reebok Pump. I like to drink iced tea, I hate MTV. Jack in the Box once had tainted meat, I like to dance to the English Beat. The guy from Boston Common’s name was Boyd. Son you best Avoid the Noid. He’s comin’ after you, your pizza, ‘cross the land. Just to get a pizza he’d pretend to like this band. Avoid the Noid Avoid the Noid THE YOO-HOO SONG Ever since I was a little boy (Oi! Oi!) I didn’t want no toy (Oi! Oi!) Just one thing made me jump for joy(Oi! Oi!) I don’t want no milk of soy (Oi! Oi!) I want milk with fake chocolate stuff!!! Strawberry, Choco, can’t get enough!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! Pink or Brown!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! ‘Cross the town!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! Drink it down!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! Ever since I was a little boy (Oi! Oi!) I didn’t want no toy (Oi! Oi!) Just one thing made me jump for joy(Oi! Oi!) I don’t want no milk of soy (Oi! Oi!) I want milk with fake chocolate stuff!!! Strawberry, Choco, can’t get enough!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! Pink or Brown!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! ‘Cross the town!!! Yoo-Hoo!!! Drink it down!!! I did it all for the Yoo-Hoo! the Yoo-Hoo! The drink that looks like Poo-poo! And tastes like Brown! Tastes like Brown! BLACK AND WHITE COOKIE There’s just one thing I’ve got to say: There’s too much hate in the world today. The Michigan Militia and the KKK, But what we need is the ARA. If you hate someone because of their race, Just look at the mirror at your own face, What you’ll see is a timid man, and what we need is a unity plan. Everybody stand together like a black and white cookie, Don’t matter race, sex, or color of skin. Everybody stand together like a black and white cookie, A world where everyone’s allowed in. Unity like the cookie, No one’s got hate in their minds, A black and white cookie of freedom. And hate is something you cannot find. If racism and sexism and homophobia, Would just get off the planet for good, Then everybody could live in peace Like each and every one of us should. Nazi punks, close-minded lunks, There ain’t no place for none of ‘em here. If everybody treats you like an equal, Then you’ve got nothing to fear. Everybody stand together like a black and white cookie, Don’t matter race, sex, or color of skin. Everybody stand together like a black and white cookie, A world where everyone’s allowed in. Unity like the cookie, No one’s got hate in their minds, A black and white cookie of freedom. And hate is something you cannot find.