Epitaphs

 To Lighten Your Day

Contributed By

 Joan Miessau

 

 

 

 

A truly Happy Person

is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries.

 Some fascinating things on old tombstones!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: 

Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft 

to see if the car was on the way down.

 It was.

 

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, 

all dressed up and no place to go.

 

 

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle

 in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :

 Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only The Good Die Young.

 

In a London , England cemetery:

 Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

 but died an old Mann.

 Dec. 8, 1767

 

In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

Anna Wallace

 The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Clark Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

 

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast...

Pardon me for not rising.

 

 

 

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas

 instead of the brake.

 

 

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

 Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger 

But slow on the draw.

 

 

 

 

A lawyer's epitaph in England :

 Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,

and that is Strange.

 

 

John Penny's epitaph

 in the Wimborne, England , cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

 

 

In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

 On the 22nd of June,

Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

 

 

Anna Hopewell's

 grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,

 But the skin of the thing that made her go.

 

 

On a grave from the 1880s

 in Nantucket , Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod.

 Pease shelled out and went to God.

 

In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now,

so once was I As I am now,

so shall you be.

 Remember this and follow me.

 

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