My husband and I both worked at a casino years ago. I'd like you to sit back, close your eyes and picture in your mind what a casino might look like. There's chandliers and bright lights everywhere. You look around and there are rows of slot machines and table games a mile long, no to mention lots of noise. The slot machines are chiming, the people are talking, the tables are clanking. You smell food from the banquet hall. Picture the people you's see. Ladies in fancy dresses and men in tuxedos, to some people who wanted to wear blue jeans and a tee shirt. Then you see the casino employees decked out in tux shirts with a bowtie and cumber buns at the waistline. There's so much glitz and glamour. Just walking in makes you feel as if you are in a different world. I won't deny it, working as a blackjack dealer was exciting!! Something was going on. People who may have won the big jackpot or there were people who may have won a vehicle. Sometimes there were even big fights that had to be handled by casino security. I met many interesting people, sometimes even famous ones. Although as the days went by, I realized that people would lose alot of money. Just as an example, my husband worked in the main bank of the casino. He would start the night out with 2 to 3 million, then at the end of his shift, he would deposit 1/2 to 1 million every night into the bank. Mind you, this a small casino in Iowa compared to those at Vegas. The money they could have been grocery money, a car/house payment or even their lifesavings. I would see this everyday and they(people) would tell me so. It really saddened me to see that these people would put themselves into a stressful situation.

Then I realized that our friends outside of the casino led a better life than we did. They led a happier life and shared more time together as husband and wife. They also shared a love for the Lord. We realized that our marriage was lacking something and we needed to do something about it. Rob and I worked opposite shifts at the casino adn we barely had time for each other, which meant alot of stress in our marriage, because we could not communicate effectively. So we discovered that we could find work beyond the casino. It would pay more or the same as what we made at the casino. So we decided to leave our glorified jobs at the casino and become closer to God. And also become reaquainted as husband and wife. I am so thankful that I no longer work for a casino. Our marriage could have crumbled. God has been good to us. As a child I attented a Kingdom Hall, but always felt empty inside. When I met Rob, we started to attend the Nazarene church together. There the message was different than what I had been taught as a child. I also met and made lifelong friends. Some became have become very dear. One person, Sue, is very special to me. I'm so close to her, I consider her my second mother. She has helped me, along with the Lord, to overcome many struggles. I reconized my need to have a stronger relationship with God and Christ. I just didn't have the life I needed to be secure in my faith. I felt very distant with God, even though my life seemed great and that I so called walked in the light with God.

So I decided it was time to really get to know the Bible and began a study of God's Word with Sue. As I studied the Author of the Bible, He became more real to me. I started to attend church regularly than just on Sunday morning. I hoped that I would become more closer to God. I knew I had a sinful life, I smoked cigarettes, two packs a day. I would swear on regular basis. I just needed God in my life! I knew that all my sins would be a hard habit for me to break. But with God's help I was able to resist the temptation and not smoke. A week later I found a song that touched my heart very deeply. It's called "I've Just Found Jesus". This song is very powerful and has lots of meaning to me. If you have ever heard the song, you what I am talking about. If not, you need to hear it!

Through the years, God has been there for me. Along with my husband by my side, we have three beautiful children who bring much joy to my life and make being a mother very rewarding. My children have the love of the Lord in their lives. Rob and I try very hard to instill our values and love for God into our children. We see them grow to know God and this is very encouraging as parents. My husband, Rob, shares my love for Christ. There isn't anything he won't do to help out with the kids or something within the home. I am very happy to have Christ in my life and to continue my walk with Him.

I am going to tell you a story now. I had to struggle spiritually to get where I am today with my walk in the Lord's footsteps. Since I was a new person of God, I had some very big issues to face. I went into a deep depression and faced alot of fear. The reason I went into a deep depression was because I no longer had the relationship I wanted from parents. They were still Jehovah's Witnesses and since I did not have the same faith as they did, we pretty much didn't have the relationship parents and a child should have. There were nights I could not sleep because so much fear had overcome me. The only way I could sleep was to have the lights on and even then it was not a restful sleep. What am I talking about when I say "fear"? Satan knew my weak spots and targeted them. He knew I wanted a relationship with my parents. I became very distant and lonely. Going to church was a chore, not the joy it should be. I was in so deep that my husband thought about taking me to a Christian Counseling Center. But I did not want to go. I only denied that I was in a depression. I went through 3 hard months of fear and depression, before I decided that I needed more than my own help. So I looked to God for that help. Sue also came to me and together we prayed for God's direction toward healing. All I wanted was to feel secure and peace of mind. Sue and I looked up several scriptured together. One was:

James 4; 7&8- "Resist the devil and submit to God. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."

From this scripture I realized that the devil had a strong hold on me and the only way I could break hold of grip was to be willing to submit my all to God. This scripture has also made me realize that God can use us in our weakest abilities to accomplish His plan for us. Another scripture was:

Philippians 4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

From this I gained the understanding that I can resist the devil and God promises to support and strengthen me. He will help those who have fallen and will help raise us up in encouragement. As I began to know God again, he led me to scriptures along the way and also led me to a book that I would use as a tool to the Bible to help me with what I was feeling inside. I am so grateful that God has helped me to overcome my fear and depression. Even though I had felt anxious during my depression, it was only after I put my trust in God that I could have the peace in my life.

John 14: 27- "Peace, I leave with you, My peace I give to you".

He had sent the Holy Spirit to be my helper during this time of healing. I also had realized that Christ had never left my side, He was always there. I just chose not to rely on Him. It always seems like when of us in our marriage would fall away from the Lord, that when we would have trouble. It's like driving a car, we decide that we want to drive and be in control, with God in the backseat. Then as we grown in our walk with the Lord we put him in the passenger seat, until we then decide that God is the one who is in control and he needs to be the driver. But I can look back at my life and be thankful that God has been with me though all my trials. We can praise Him for everything we has given us and what he will continue to give us. He has given me, my life, my beautiful family and my relationship with Him. As Jesus said in:

John 14:6-"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

Won't you invite Christ personally into your life and walk with Him? He'll guide you and lead you through many trials you may have. I would like to sing the song that made a big impression on me. I can see from this song that He is very real and that we will see Him someday.

In closing, what will be your final answer? I hope in the end, you will chose Christ as your Lord and savior. With His help you will accomplish anything. I would like to end with a prayer of acceptance.

Lord, I ask that you help those who see my page and give them hope when they are lost. You have shown me in many ways to go to you in prayer and ask for your help. I pray that those who come here, ask Jesus in their lives and have a hope that I have come to understand. In your name I pray, Amen.