Jesus loves you...
but everyone else thinks
you're an idiot.

The proctologist called
...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory
...some just don't have any film.

Your ridiculous little 
opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle 
on life...but it broke off.

Some people just don't know how to drive...
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? 
Then quit watching me.

If you can read this...I can 
slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

Today is not your day
Tomorrow ain't looking good either

Hang up and drive!!